Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Single-divorced mother seeking advice about my mothrt and brother always trying to be in control i need some i
Sit em down, tell them while it is nice they offer you their assistance, you are a single mother who needs to be doing some of these things on your own. I dont know why you are a single mom (divorce, b/f got you preg and left, whatever) but tell them control was taken from you once and you would like to have some back. Tell them their advice is always welcome but you need to run your own life
Do you really let your mother's advice into your mind?
Mothers are not attempting to interfer when they suggest certain things, if you are having health problems, do you follow up with her suggestions on doctors and treatments? If you have financial problems, do you listen to her on how to handle your money? Do you really listen when your mother suggests from her heart and not from her mouth?Do you really let your mother's advice into your mind?
My mother is one of the smartest, wisest and rational people I know. The times I did NOT take her advice are the times I regret. She is a wonderful resource for information because she loves me and has my best interest at heart. If I fail, she fails. If I succeed, she succeeds. I may still bolster her advice with that of an expert in whatever field we're talking, but mom never claimed to be an expert at anything except caring about me. Sometimes, that's enough.Do you really let your mother's advice into your mind?
I always listen to my mother's advice--she should know since she has gone through similar situations that I have gone through. Mother's are very wise women...
All the time Granny!
And BTW, HI! Sorry, I haven't been around much. Hope you had a great mothers day! *hugs* :)
Every once in awhile I'll hear my adult daughter and son telling someone something and they'll say ';just like mom always said'; and I think they were listening after all.
When I was younger I used to agree with my mum that she thought she knew it all, and did;t take on any advice that she gave me, now I am older and a little bit wiser, I find myself saying and doing the same things to my daughter that my mother told and did to me! So yes somewhere along the line the thoughts snuck in and are with me!
I take into consideration my Mother's suggestions, but altimetly I make my own. Now when it comes to my kids, I take what my mother says without doubt. She has been a mother alot longer and I think i turned out well, so when she suggest I listen.
r u serious?
Absolutely, I listen and then consider if I need to take action or not, that is my decision. My mother has far more life experience than me. Even though it is different experience it is worth considering or tucking away for another time.
Yo...C'mon are you serous. Moms is Moms...and will be up in your business until the day is leaves the earth! It's her job and she's DAMN good at it. Moms must know everything around her, believe me I love my Mom, but that's what she does. You have to take pieces of her advice and suggestions in small doses ,because large doses will KILL you or leave you a Veggie somewhere pissing yourself! Moms ALWAYS means well but you have to remember in everything they say they're talking about their CHILD and it's not always rational :)
Dr.Frank S.
yes
when I was a teenager, I never listened to my mom..not a bit of anything she wants to say....after several years of living in the city by myself, I lost her...Now that Im 29, I wish to go back to my teenage years to hear her talk again...
i totally understand if your having some problems with your mother, mothers always got something to say on every situations their kids run into, and this is normal and for me i totally listen to her that if it is an advice, but if she tells me what to do i just wont listen to her! an advice and telling you what to do is totally different things, an advice is something you can make a choice, wether to follow her or not, but if shes telling you what to do is like actually a pressure for you to actually do it
sometime mothers just try to help .i love my mother .
My mother is one of the smartest, wisest and rational people I know. The times I did NOT take her advice are the times I regret. She is a wonderful resource for information because she loves me and has my best interest at heart. If I fail, she fails. If I succeed, she succeeds. I may still bolster her advice with that of an expert in whatever field we're talking, but mom never claimed to be an expert at anything except caring about me. Sometimes, that's enough.Do you really let your mother's advice into your mind?
I always listen to my mother's advice--she should know since she has gone through similar situations that I have gone through. Mother's are very wise women...
All the time Granny!
And BTW, HI! Sorry, I haven't been around much. Hope you had a great mothers day! *hugs* :)
Every once in awhile I'll hear my adult daughter and son telling someone something and they'll say ';just like mom always said'; and I think they were listening after all.
When I was younger I used to agree with my mum that she thought she knew it all, and did;t take on any advice that she gave me, now I am older and a little bit wiser, I find myself saying and doing the same things to my daughter that my mother told and did to me! So yes somewhere along the line the thoughts snuck in and are with me!
I take into consideration my Mother's suggestions, but altimetly I make my own. Now when it comes to my kids, I take what my mother says without doubt. She has been a mother alot longer and I think i turned out well, so when she suggest I listen.
r u serious?
Absolutely, I listen and then consider if I need to take action or not, that is my decision. My mother has far more life experience than me. Even though it is different experience it is worth considering or tucking away for another time.
Yo...C'mon are you serous. Moms is Moms...and will be up in your business until the day is leaves the earth! It's her job and she's DAMN good at it. Moms must know everything around her, believe me I love my Mom, but that's what she does. You have to take pieces of her advice and suggestions in small doses ,because large doses will KILL you or leave you a Veggie somewhere pissing yourself! Moms ALWAYS means well but you have to remember in everything they say they're talking about their CHILD and it's not always rational :)
Dr.Frank S.
yes
when I was a teenager, I never listened to my mom..not a bit of anything she wants to say....after several years of living in the city by myself, I lost her...Now that Im 29, I wish to go back to my teenage years to hear her talk again...
i totally understand if your having some problems with your mother, mothers always got something to say on every situations their kids run into, and this is normal and for me i totally listen to her that if it is an advice, but if she tells me what to do i just wont listen to her! an advice and telling you what to do is totally different things, an advice is something you can make a choice, wether to follow her or not, but if shes telling you what to do is like actually a pressure for you to actually do it
sometime mothers just try to help .i love my mother .
My Son is attached at the hip... needs mother's advice!?
Okay. My son just recently turned 11 months old. He's starting to develop a little attitude and is unecessarily attached to my hip. I can't even get dressed in the morning without him CONSTANTLY fussing and whining. He's got a ton of toys but he won't play with them. I work during the day, and his sitter says he's just as good as gold with her and spends the entire day playing. Why is it that he can't do that at home? I love him to death and enjoy spending time with him, but I'd like to start just ONE day without him fussing and just ONE morning when I can take and shower and get dressed without him crying. Sometimes I try to ignore it, but I feel like I'm neglecting him. Am I enabling this behavior?? Taking all serious suggestions!!!!!!!!My Son is attached at the hip... needs mother's advice!?
Are you sure you weren't describing my son????? He's 19 months old, and is still following me around the house!!!! Of course, as he's gotten older he's mellowed out a little. He can watch a video for 10 minutes, or play with a toy for 10 minutes, but usuallly he's with me wherever I go! My mom says that when he can play with imagination... and entertain himself a little more, then he will grow out of this stage. Of course, there are times when I have to let him fuss, i.e. showering, making dinner, but mostly I allow him to be with me when he wants to. One day, he'll wish that I would go away and leave HIM alone, then I'll think back to these days and miss them.
p.s. you are not neglecting him. If you need a time out, gate him in a room with a video and some ';fun'; toys, and allow him to fuss, get over it, and then play without your constant supervision, and he'll get used to the new rules in the house.
Good Luck!My Son is attached at the hip... needs mother's advice!?
He needs to learn that mom cannot hold him 24 hours a day. While it's upsetting to let him cry and whine, it's what's best. It's almost like tantrums: They only do it for attention and you have to ignore it otherwise it's just promoting the behavior.
When he starts crying, get down on his level (not in his face, just down next to him) and say ';Mommy is getting ready..after I get ready, I will hold you';. If he continues to cry, let him. He'll get over it.
You can't hold him 24 hours a day, so why make him think you can? Let him cry..he'll be fine.
well, it's the same kind of deal as when a child throws a toy out of the crib, cries until you bring it back, then throws it out again. he's dealing with the separation issue, and he obviously doesn't feel prepared for that just yet. however, we also know that in today's society, mothers have more to do than just deal with the kids. unfortunately, i think the best thing to do is to maybe say to him, in simple terms when you're going to do something, say take a shower and say, Mommy needs to go shower. I'll be back in just a few minutes. Then leave. He will almost certainly cry, but you have to just leave him until you're done doing what you're doing, and then come back. once he sees that your leaving is not permanent, he'll realize that it's normal and that mommy will always come back. that way, the separation is a process, not a shock. good luck!!
My daughter went through the exact same thing. I couldn't bear to have her fussing so much so I was her little slave until just recently. It seems like that at around 15 months when she started walking she didn't need me so much anymore. I think it's because they can get around and get a good view of whatever they want when they're walking, and also, naturally they begin to develop more confidence and more of an ability to understand you. When he gets a little older he'll understand more when you tell him, ';mommy is busy right now, I'll play with you in a couple of minutes';. At 11 months old he doesn't quite understand enough just yet.
I say hang in there. As he understands more and gets more independant you'll get your space. There are times now that I wish my daughter would let me carry her around. She just wnts to go and run around now, she has no time to snuggle with me!
If you give in to his whining even a little bit, he will learn to do that next time to get your attention. I know that it is hard but try your best to ignore when he acts that way. Also make sure to give him lots of attention when he behaves the way you want him to, and set some mommy and me time aside so that he knows when he can have you all to himself. I am going through the same thing. I just started working and my daughter did that for about three months before she got into the swing of things
He is experiancing seperation anxiety. It's completely normal for his age. It will go away after a while. When my daughter (now 18 mon) was going thru that phase, I would just talk to her while I was getting ready, and tell her what I was doing (';mommy's putting on her shoes';, etc). If she wouldn't stop screaming, I would put her in her crib with her blankie and a bottle, and let her stay there until I was finnished getting ready. I too felt a little guilty about it, but now she's just fine. I think sometimes you have to ignore the behavior to keep your sanity, and avoid yelling back at your child. I know it's hard, but it will pass.
He does this to you because he knows you'll come for him. You are not neglecting him as long as he is safe and fed and reasonably dry. He is now aware he can affect his world and this is the beginning of his testing you.
Set your boundaries now and stick to them. Decide when you will go to him and when you will continue with what you're doing, and be consistent. He is headed for... toddlerhood. Where every moment is a test.
Are you sure you weren't describing my son????? He's 19 months old, and is still following me around the house!!!! Of course, as he's gotten older he's mellowed out a little. He can watch a video for 10 minutes, or play with a toy for 10 minutes, but usuallly he's with me wherever I go! My mom says that when he can play with imagination... and entertain himself a little more, then he will grow out of this stage. Of course, there are times when I have to let him fuss, i.e. showering, making dinner, but mostly I allow him to be with me when he wants to. One day, he'll wish that I would go away and leave HIM alone, then I'll think back to these days and miss them.
p.s. you are not neglecting him. If you need a time out, gate him in a room with a video and some ';fun'; toys, and allow him to fuss, get over it, and then play without your constant supervision, and he'll get used to the new rules in the house.
Good Luck!My Son is attached at the hip... needs mother's advice!?
He needs to learn that mom cannot hold him 24 hours a day. While it's upsetting to let him cry and whine, it's what's best. It's almost like tantrums: They only do it for attention and you have to ignore it otherwise it's just promoting the behavior.
When he starts crying, get down on his level (not in his face, just down next to him) and say ';Mommy is getting ready..after I get ready, I will hold you';. If he continues to cry, let him. He'll get over it.
You can't hold him 24 hours a day, so why make him think you can? Let him cry..he'll be fine.
well, it's the same kind of deal as when a child throws a toy out of the crib, cries until you bring it back, then throws it out again. he's dealing with the separation issue, and he obviously doesn't feel prepared for that just yet. however, we also know that in today's society, mothers have more to do than just deal with the kids. unfortunately, i think the best thing to do is to maybe say to him, in simple terms when you're going to do something, say take a shower and say, Mommy needs to go shower. I'll be back in just a few minutes. Then leave. He will almost certainly cry, but you have to just leave him until you're done doing what you're doing, and then come back. once he sees that your leaving is not permanent, he'll realize that it's normal and that mommy will always come back. that way, the separation is a process, not a shock. good luck!!
My daughter went through the exact same thing. I couldn't bear to have her fussing so much so I was her little slave until just recently. It seems like that at around 15 months when she started walking she didn't need me so much anymore. I think it's because they can get around and get a good view of whatever they want when they're walking, and also, naturally they begin to develop more confidence and more of an ability to understand you. When he gets a little older he'll understand more when you tell him, ';mommy is busy right now, I'll play with you in a couple of minutes';. At 11 months old he doesn't quite understand enough just yet.
I say hang in there. As he understands more and gets more independant you'll get your space. There are times now that I wish my daughter would let me carry her around. She just wnts to go and run around now, she has no time to snuggle with me!
If you give in to his whining even a little bit, he will learn to do that next time to get your attention. I know that it is hard but try your best to ignore when he acts that way. Also make sure to give him lots of attention when he behaves the way you want him to, and set some mommy and me time aside so that he knows when he can have you all to himself. I am going through the same thing. I just started working and my daughter did that for about three months before she got into the swing of things
He is experiancing seperation anxiety. It's completely normal for his age. It will go away after a while. When my daughter (now 18 mon) was going thru that phase, I would just talk to her while I was getting ready, and tell her what I was doing (';mommy's putting on her shoes';, etc). If she wouldn't stop screaming, I would put her in her crib with her blankie and a bottle, and let her stay there until I was finnished getting ready. I too felt a little guilty about it, but now she's just fine. I think sometimes you have to ignore the behavior to keep your sanity, and avoid yelling back at your child. I know it's hard, but it will pass.
He does this to you because he knows you'll come for him. You are not neglecting him as long as he is safe and fed and reasonably dry. He is now aware he can affect his world and this is the beginning of his testing you.
Set your boundaries now and stick to them. Decide when you will go to him and when you will continue with what you're doing, and be consistent. He is headed for... toddlerhood. Where every moment is a test.
What well meaning good advice did your Mother/dad give you.?
Mine said. Your like a long playing gramerphone needle and You'll do. If some one bullies you kick them in the shins and when they bend over kick them up the A*** and run away as fast as you can.What well meaning good advice did your Mother/dad give you.?
If you want to be treated as a lady, behave like one.
Respect is a two way thing... give to receive.
Treat people as you would want to be treated.What well meaning good advice did your Mother/dad give you.?
Look, but don't touch.
(Mom said this to me when I was looking at glassware, knick knacks, and such)
I was always told:
';Live you life for you, nobody else, because you are the one who will appreciate the choices you make, not the people who try and make them for you';
oh, and...
';Close that door, were you born in a bloody barn?';
when I was six they said: ';you're on your own...';
Always wear clean undies, just in case something happens to you and end up unconscious
NNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, just kidding!
My Mum always said, that it is not a weakness to say sorry, it's brave and honorable!
and
Being loud and aggressive is not assertiveness, it's what it is, stupid!
don`t eat yellow snow.lol
My mom told me on my wedding day never to let the sun go down on an argument, best piece of advice she ever gave me as I never have.
Never lie.
Mom: ';Ignore those that try to provoke you, they are just jealous and trying to get a reaction. Ignore them and they will eventually stop.';
Dad: ';They will keep messing with you until you kick the crap out of one of them, then the rest of them will leave you alone.';
I find that Dads advice is most effective and renders long term results, Furthermore it's fun!
none
don't get a credit card
my dad always tells me. Treat others the way you want to be treated. its worked for him years and years.
Never take a tattoo gun to a piss-up.
Children should be seen and not heard
A minute on the lips is 4ever on your hips ~ That little gem had me anorexic at 14
If you had a brain in your head you'd be dangerous
In My day BS BS BS
I'll turn this car around
If you kids insist on fighting do it outside
You've made your bed you lie in it
There just a few I could think of with out really trying hard I am 28 now and over it but I forgive them well her These where the printable ones BTW
I have two brothers and my mom would always say, ';my sons, my sons til they get themselves a wife. My daughter, my daughter the rest of my life';. And she couldn't have been more accurate. (LOL!!). Now I have a daughter and I say it to her.
Always be ten minutes early.
My grandpa told me once ';When you get married, marry an ugly woman, a good looking woman can run away from you.'; So I asked grandpa ';Can't an ugly woman run away from you, too?'; to which he replied ';Yeah, but who cares?';
I didn't get any *sob*
My parents always told me that if I was going to fool around to always use protection. Words or wisdom, but makes me think that they wished they had.
don't drink the kool-Aid
Don,t do as I do,DO AS I SAY!!
Do not smoke or drink. or have sex. I should have listened, at least on the last two.
never trust a man who can't cook.
stay away from saliors, well he should know he was one !
';If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all';.
Mum,kiss a lot of frogs till you meet your prince,still kissing frogs.
stay away from strangers
my mom told to keep quiet if I have nothing nice to say
my dad told me to never listen to my mom cause she's crazy
you see the irony of this message ....
Always drink a big glass of water before you go to bed after a long night of drinking.
Don't pee against the wind is a good one too.
To be your best and assertive all the time..you may never know what situation you will get into...
None
If you want to be treated as a lady, behave like one.
Respect is a two way thing... give to receive.
Treat people as you would want to be treated.What well meaning good advice did your Mother/dad give you.?
Look, but don't touch.
(Mom said this to me when I was looking at glassware, knick knacks, and such)
I was always told:
';Live you life for you, nobody else, because you are the one who will appreciate the choices you make, not the people who try and make them for you';
oh, and...
';Close that door, were you born in a bloody barn?';
when I was six they said: ';you're on your own...';
Always wear clean undies, just in case something happens to you and end up unconscious
NNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, just kidding!
My Mum always said, that it is not a weakness to say sorry, it's brave and honorable!
and
Being loud and aggressive is not assertiveness, it's what it is, stupid!
don`t eat yellow snow.lol
My mom told me on my wedding day never to let the sun go down on an argument, best piece of advice she ever gave me as I never have.
Never lie.
Mom: ';Ignore those that try to provoke you, they are just jealous and trying to get a reaction. Ignore them and they will eventually stop.';
Dad: ';They will keep messing with you until you kick the crap out of one of them, then the rest of them will leave you alone.';
I find that Dads advice is most effective and renders long term results, Furthermore it's fun!
none
don't get a credit card
my dad always tells me. Treat others the way you want to be treated. its worked for him years and years.
Never take a tattoo gun to a piss-up.
Children should be seen and not heard
A minute on the lips is 4ever on your hips ~ That little gem had me anorexic at 14
If you had a brain in your head you'd be dangerous
In My day BS BS BS
I'll turn this car around
If you kids insist on fighting do it outside
You've made your bed you lie in it
There just a few I could think of with out really trying hard I am 28 now and over it but I forgive them well her These where the printable ones BTW
I have two brothers and my mom would always say, ';my sons, my sons til they get themselves a wife. My daughter, my daughter the rest of my life';. And she couldn't have been more accurate. (LOL!!). Now I have a daughter and I say it to her.
Always be ten minutes early.
My grandpa told me once ';When you get married, marry an ugly woman, a good looking woman can run away from you.'; So I asked grandpa ';Can't an ugly woman run away from you, too?'; to which he replied ';Yeah, but who cares?';
I didn't get any *sob*
My parents always told me that if I was going to fool around to always use protection. Words or wisdom, but makes me think that they wished they had.
don't drink the kool-Aid
Don,t do as I do,DO AS I SAY!!
Do not smoke or drink. or have sex. I should have listened, at least on the last two.
never trust a man who can't cook.
stay away from saliors, well he should know he was one !
';If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all';.
Mum,kiss a lot of frogs till you meet your prince,still kissing frogs.
stay away from strangers
my mom told to keep quiet if I have nothing nice to say
my dad told me to never listen to my mom cause she's crazy
you see the irony of this message ....
Always drink a big glass of water before you go to bed after a long night of drinking.
Don't pee against the wind is a good one too.
To be your best and assertive all the time..you may never know what situation you will get into...
None
My mother has been living with a trachea for 3 months now, can anyone, with experience offer some advice?
My mom is having such a hard time with it and I feel helpless to her. I am so dishearten with myself that I don't help her enough. The reason being, is it very hard to clean it and suction her. I do it and so does my dad but you have to have a strong constitution and I am ashamed to say, although I love my mom, I am afraid to touch it or clean it for her. Are there any other methods to which I could learn that can make it easier for me and my dad?My mother has been living with a trachea for 3 months now, can anyone, with experience offer some advice?
I am assuming you mean she has a tracheostomy as your trachea is part of your body. Since you are not sure of yourself and uncomfortable handling the tracheostomy tube and suctioning her I would consider talking over your fears with her doctors nurse. Also you did not say if she is paralzyed in both arms or not but if she is not paralzyed then they should be working on getting her to care for her own tracheostomy if she can. Nursing is not easy as you can see and some people are just not cut out for it. Talk to her doctors nurse about all of this though and she can help you through this or help you find someone to help your mother.My mother has been living with a trachea for 3 months now, can anyone, with experience offer some advice?
Do you mean a tracheotomy? Listen, I know--- and believe me, I KNOW it is not all fun and like getting a new pair of jeans or whatever. But this is a serious situation, and you and your dad need to step up. If you had a trach, she would clean it for you, right?
When cleaning it, first of all, chew mint gum. Don't stand over her with your ability to breathe thru your nose and have nastiness in your breath. Courteous. Second of all, if you clean it often, it shouldn't be too dirty the next time you clean it. Alternate with your dad using warm DAMP- (not wet) sponges or gauze's. Be very gentle. the area is extremely sore, even after 1 year. Go slow, there is no need to rush thru this process of cleaning. A good cleaning takes no longer than 5 minutes. Rinse out the suction tube with some hot water, then dump the container contents in the toilet. This will keep it fresh as well. Put a little baking soda in some steaming water, swish, suck it up, and dump into toilet. Wipe of the tube and suction tip to keep clean. Dip end in alcohol to kill any bacteria from mucous.
I am assuming you mean she has a tracheostomy as your trachea is part of your body. Since you are not sure of yourself and uncomfortable handling the tracheostomy tube and suctioning her I would consider talking over your fears with her doctors nurse. Also you did not say if she is paralzyed in both arms or not but if she is not paralzyed then they should be working on getting her to care for her own tracheostomy if she can. Nursing is not easy as you can see and some people are just not cut out for it. Talk to her doctors nurse about all of this though and she can help you through this or help you find someone to help your mother.My mother has been living with a trachea for 3 months now, can anyone, with experience offer some advice?
Do you mean a tracheotomy? Listen, I know--- and believe me, I KNOW it is not all fun and like getting a new pair of jeans or whatever. But this is a serious situation, and you and your dad need to step up. If you had a trach, she would clean it for you, right?
When cleaning it, first of all, chew mint gum. Don't stand over her with your ability to breathe thru your nose and have nastiness in your breath. Courteous. Second of all, if you clean it often, it shouldn't be too dirty the next time you clean it. Alternate with your dad using warm DAMP- (not wet) sponges or gauze's. Be very gentle. the area is extremely sore, even after 1 year. Go slow, there is no need to rush thru this process of cleaning. A good cleaning takes no longer than 5 minutes. Rinse out the suction tube with some hot water, then dump the container contents in the toilet. This will keep it fresh as well. Put a little baking soda in some steaming water, swish, suck it up, and dump into toilet. Wipe of the tube and suction tip to keep clean. Dip end in alcohol to kill any bacteria from mucous.
Here's a long one.. Please give advice! (Mother in law)?
My husband and I have been together 6 years, married for 3. Our daughter will be 5 next Friday and not ONE single year has my mother in law EVER called to wish her a happy birthday. Never has she even called to check on her. Never has she called to ask and see her. When my husband's grandma died in 2004 she left Indiana (where we are now) and moved to Texas. No telling my husband or daughter bye. 5 years later she's 44 and living at her dad's one bedroom on the couch. She got arrested earlier in the year for driving with suspended plates, possession of paraphernalia, and marijuana. She has no job and left Indiana 3 times without saying where she's going, all because at the time she would move to any state where a man was willing to take her and she could live off of him. Now she's back in Indiana because she has no man taking care of her so she's living with her dad (husband's grandpa) in his one bedroom apartment on the couch. My husband went over to visit with his grandpa yesterday and of course she was there. She started her pity-party saying how sorry she was and she wanted to work things out and be in our daughter's life. Let me add this.. ***I*** decided while she was still living in this state years ago I wanted to take our daughter to see her so I could atleast say that I made the effort. Now get this, she has the nerve to whisper in my husbands ear to keep her out of the bedrooms because she had to go take another hit of pot because he knee hurt! What grandma does that?? Now, do I want her in my life? NO. Do I want her in my daughter's life? NO. But what do I do about my daughter??? She begs all the time to get to visit her grandpa and we don't let her go in because she's there. What would I tell my daughter when this woman she hasn't seen since she was two pops off and says she's her grandma?? My husband and I are both at a loss. He doesn't any more to do with her as I do.. His grandma raised him and since she passed away his ';MOM'; pretty much abonded him because he wouldn't support her. I just don't know what to do about our daughter. I feel so bad knowing she has another grandma out there but why would I want to chance ';Fixing'; things and my daughter getting to know her then take the risk of her possibly meeting another guy and going God knows where??Here's a long one.. Please give advice! (Mother in law)?
Pick your Grandpa up and bring him to your house. I wouldn't give your mother in law the time of day. Your daughter might take some of her drugs lying around. Don't trust her unless you give her a drug test, I still wouldn't let her around her. Sorry to hear that you have such a crappy mother in law. good luck!Here's a long one.. Please give advice! (Mother in law)?
I agree with looney toones 100%. Sorry to be for once completely unoriginal
Keep your daughter away from her, it may be more effort to invite her great grandfather over to your house, but it's not worth putting your daughter at risk of being exposed to whatever your mother in law is doing.
I think in this case you have to sort of play it by ear. I think you need to sit down with your husband and discuss this with him see how he feels. I know how you feel about the not calling thing my future MIL didn't call my step daughter on her bday and it is her biological grandchild she treats them like garbage and is only involved with one child. I know you are angry about what has and is happening but you need to understand that if your husband wants to have some contact with her that is his mom and he will have some love for her no matter what. I personally don't think that marijuana is a big deal (there are much worse things she could be doing)but if she is doing it when you guys are there in front of or around your child you have a right to be upset.Limit contact with her or only let her visit with the child in your house or in a public park tell her upfront if she plans to disappear then she shouldn't bother wanting a relationship with your family because this will only confuse your child. This is a tough decision so think carefully. Good luck.detox cleansing
Pick your Grandpa up and bring him to your house. I wouldn't give your mother in law the time of day. Your daughter might take some of her drugs lying around. Don't trust her unless you give her a drug test, I still wouldn't let her around her. Sorry to hear that you have such a crappy mother in law. good luck!Here's a long one.. Please give advice! (Mother in law)?
I agree with looney toones 100%. Sorry to be for once completely unoriginal
Keep your daughter away from her, it may be more effort to invite her great grandfather over to your house, but it's not worth putting your daughter at risk of being exposed to whatever your mother in law is doing.
I think in this case you have to sort of play it by ear. I think you need to sit down with your husband and discuss this with him see how he feels. I know how you feel about the not calling thing my future MIL didn't call my step daughter on her bday and it is her biological grandchild she treats them like garbage and is only involved with one child. I know you are angry about what has and is happening but you need to understand that if your husband wants to have some contact with her that is his mom and he will have some love for her no matter what. I personally don't think that marijuana is a big deal (there are much worse things she could be doing)but if she is doing it when you guys are there in front of or around your child you have a right to be upset.Limit contact with her or only let her visit with the child in your house or in a public park tell her upfront if she plans to disappear then she shouldn't bother wanting a relationship with your family because this will only confuse your child. This is a tough decision so think carefully. Good luck.
As a parent, what is your best tip / advice for a new mother?
Don't be afraid to ask your visitors to help...and sleep when the baby sleeps...As a parent, what is your best tip / advice for a new mother?
Follow your heart - do what you instinctively feel is right for you %26amp; for your family. It *is* good to research, to think about what you do, to try out new ideas %26amp; see if they'll work for you - but - don't feel pressured to do anything that doesn't feel right to you.
Also - Let baby's dad learn to parent along with you. Don't discourage him any more than you would want him to discourage you. He will make mistakes. You will make them, too. Support each other %26amp; enjoy the challenges of parenting together.As a parent, what is your best tip / advice for a new mother?
dont believe what other people tell u do ur own thing u are going to make mistakes but everbody does,and sleep when the baby does and never put ur baby to sleep with u in the same bed we made that mistake and we still have our 22 month old with us and we cant get him out
Relax, and ask for help when you need it. But, trust your instincts. You, not the latest book, your neighbor, your mother, the ladies at the church..... You are your child's mother.
Also, something I struggle with still: Don't worry about the house, the car, the cooking..... You can be super wife/mom/etc. when your children are all out of diapers and dressing themselves, maybe even off to college.
Don't overreact--babies cry, they sometimes go a couple of days without pooping, you don't need to wake them up and feed them or force them to sleep--they'll develop their own schedules, and a 100 degree temperature is not a fever.
Make sure to keep a routine. Nothing sends babies into a tizzy faster than inconsistency. Feedings, nap time, bedtime...etc...
Other than that...just enjoy your baby...they grow up VERY fast. My kids are 24 and 21 now...and I honestly don't know where the time went...(sigh)...
Congratulations!
ASK FOR HELP....ITS OKAY!!! Take plenty of rest, eat and sleep well and just thank heavens for the greatest wonder in your life....your baby!!!
Congratulations.
cherish all the moments when they are little, get everything on camcorder,,,it is so much better to remember with sound and a visual!!
Don't freak out about everything. Pick your battles and enjoy every second with your baby b/c they really do grow up so fast!
Being a mother is one of the most important jobs you will ever have, but that doesn't mean you must feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Try to sleep as often as possible. And remember that everyone needs a break from time to time, don't feel guilty if you just need some time to yourself it doesn't make you a bad parent it just makes you normal :) Good luck
A lot of good advice on here.
My advice would be trust your instincts; everyone will have their own idea or opinion, but you're Mom, go with your gut.
Seek help when you need it, but remember that ultimately you are the Mom and it's your decision.
It's not the time outs or spankings that improve behavior, it's the talks that you have afterwards that make all the difference.
be very patient, and be very resourcefull, if you have concerns about your baby read about it or ask a doc. also be aware of all the changes your baby goes through so that you won't be alarmed at whats happening. GIVE A LOT OF LOVE !! they need to feel it.
A baby won't cry himself to death. If you need a break, set your infant in his crib, shut the door and go to a quiet room until you get your composure. Once you're ';refreshed'; go back and calm you baby.
Get plenty of rest, don't be scared to ask for help, and don't worry you will get in a routine before you know it.
Everyone told me to make sure I rest when I can, and I was never able too.. I would find myself watching and snuggling with my newborn. Sooner or later it caught up with me and I had a huge meltdown. Thank GOD my mom was here to help my husband with the baby. It lasted one night and I slept for like 9 hours, only waking to feed the baby.
If anyone offers you help.. take it. Dont feel like you wont need it because you will. Just make sure when they ask what they can do you offer them things like cooking, cleaning shopping etc. you stick to taking care of your baby.
Also.. do yourself a favor and make sure your pediatrician has after hour call backs or a doctor on call so that you can always have your questions answered. Dont rely to much on what you read.... and dont go to others for answers CALL your pediatrician you pay them for a reason and they are here to answer all of your questions.. even if they seem dumb or seem as though you ask a lot... they are used to it!
be patient with the baby.. but be patient with yourself and your spouse. this is a learning experience and you will never be able to imagine how quick it goes by!
Enjoy every moment and write everything down! Take LOTS of pictures and try to make memories out of every situation so that you can always remember this precious time.
Teach your baby to go down to sleep awake. Do not nurse/feed to sleep. Its so much easier in the long run
Sometimes babies just need to cry. When you have done everything you can, and nothing works, sometimes they just need to cry it out.
If your motherly instincts is telling u something's wrong- SOMETHING IS WRONG
Don't try to wait with anything that seems not normal, call the dr right away, dont' worry they won't think of u as a freaky and paniky mother, they see u as a caring and loving mother who cares about her child.
I've learned, I'd asked my mom 'gee what could be wrong I feel like there's something wrong with my son' she'd say dont' worry this is normal, and it wasn't so I learned, from now on I feel something's not right, I call the Dr or go to ER, better safe then sorry
Good luck, and Congrats to the new mommy!! Take care!
if you havent already had your baby i can tell you that there is nothing i can say to prepare you for this - because its hugh and the following points will only be relevant to you as you are experiencing being a new mum.
1. rest/sleep when your baby does,
2. don't be afraid to let your baby cry a little, it wont harm them
3.remember that your life is going to change and that you are going to be shocked a little as to how much time they take up but give in quickly and you will soon learn your babies needs and
4. get into a routine which is important for you and baby
5. you may be reluctant to recieve help at first but dont be you need to rest and people know what its like and how hard it is and thats why they offer
6. get hubby to take care of you thats what hes there for - all the chores and cooking should be done by him, you concentrate on nursing the baby
7. eat well (hubbys job again) as you burn an extra 500 calories whilst bf and drink plenty too.
8. enjoy your baby they grow up so fast - dont wish their wee lifes away
It's good to give baby a warm bath and warm bottle before bedtime. It will make him/her easier to fall asleep.
Be goofy with your baby sometimes...children remind us that it's okay to be a little silly.
Sit baby up in front of PBS Kids. All I can say about that one is my son skipped up a grade and I had him in his chair when I had to do the dishes or some light chores.
Don't let your child mess up your place after you just organized it. Take them to the park to play. Close off/lock door of the rooms that you tidied up if possible. It can be draining to constantly have to pick up after a toddler taking everything out of drawers and off of shelves.
Always have a little snack or juice with you when you are traveling on public transportation. Sometimes people might be eating a snack and your child might realize that he/she wants a snack too.
--Enjoy every moment, b/c especially in the first few months, it goes by SO fast (due to sleep deprivation, worry, concern, and being busy).
--Don't be ashamed about taking the time to recover. Don't let anyone let you think you're ';taking too much time.';
--Take a lot of pictures.
--Try not to get overwhelmed by the responsibility. Especially, if you're a single Mother. The task can be daunting, but worth every minute.
--Save money as soon as you find out you're pregnant. Hold on to it for dear life. Things come up. And, it's the little things that add up.
--Work your A*S off at work, and get those promotions, bonuses, etc.....
--Have a lot of receiving blankets, hats, bigs, pacifiers, bottles, wipes, and diapers handy.
--Invest in a good baby bath for infants. It makes life a lot easier.
--Listen to your baby.
--Keep your cool.
Good luck!!!!!!!!!
Follow your heart - do what you instinctively feel is right for you %26amp; for your family. It *is* good to research, to think about what you do, to try out new ideas %26amp; see if they'll work for you - but - don't feel pressured to do anything that doesn't feel right to you.
Also - Let baby's dad learn to parent along with you. Don't discourage him any more than you would want him to discourage you. He will make mistakes. You will make them, too. Support each other %26amp; enjoy the challenges of parenting together.As a parent, what is your best tip / advice for a new mother?
dont believe what other people tell u do ur own thing u are going to make mistakes but everbody does,and sleep when the baby does and never put ur baby to sleep with u in the same bed we made that mistake and we still have our 22 month old with us and we cant get him out
Relax, and ask for help when you need it. But, trust your instincts. You, not the latest book, your neighbor, your mother, the ladies at the church..... You are your child's mother.
Also, something I struggle with still: Don't worry about the house, the car, the cooking..... You can be super wife/mom/etc. when your children are all out of diapers and dressing themselves, maybe even off to college.
Don't overreact--babies cry, they sometimes go a couple of days without pooping, you don't need to wake them up and feed them or force them to sleep--they'll develop their own schedules, and a 100 degree temperature is not a fever.
Make sure to keep a routine. Nothing sends babies into a tizzy faster than inconsistency. Feedings, nap time, bedtime...etc...
Other than that...just enjoy your baby...they grow up VERY fast. My kids are 24 and 21 now...and I honestly don't know where the time went...(sigh)...
Congratulations!
ASK FOR HELP....ITS OKAY!!! Take plenty of rest, eat and sleep well and just thank heavens for the greatest wonder in your life....your baby!!!
Congratulations.
cherish all the moments when they are little, get everything on camcorder,,,it is so much better to remember with sound and a visual!!
Don't freak out about everything. Pick your battles and enjoy every second with your baby b/c they really do grow up so fast!
Being a mother is one of the most important jobs you will ever have, but that doesn't mean you must feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Try to sleep as often as possible. And remember that everyone needs a break from time to time, don't feel guilty if you just need some time to yourself it doesn't make you a bad parent it just makes you normal :) Good luck
A lot of good advice on here.
My advice would be trust your instincts; everyone will have their own idea or opinion, but you're Mom, go with your gut.
Seek help when you need it, but remember that ultimately you are the Mom and it's your decision.
It's not the time outs or spankings that improve behavior, it's the talks that you have afterwards that make all the difference.
be very patient, and be very resourcefull, if you have concerns about your baby read about it or ask a doc. also be aware of all the changes your baby goes through so that you won't be alarmed at whats happening. GIVE A LOT OF LOVE !! they need to feel it.
A baby won't cry himself to death. If you need a break, set your infant in his crib, shut the door and go to a quiet room until you get your composure. Once you're ';refreshed'; go back and calm you baby.
Get plenty of rest, don't be scared to ask for help, and don't worry you will get in a routine before you know it.
Everyone told me to make sure I rest when I can, and I was never able too.. I would find myself watching and snuggling with my newborn. Sooner or later it caught up with me and I had a huge meltdown. Thank GOD my mom was here to help my husband with the baby. It lasted one night and I slept for like 9 hours, only waking to feed the baby.
If anyone offers you help.. take it. Dont feel like you wont need it because you will. Just make sure when they ask what they can do you offer them things like cooking, cleaning shopping etc. you stick to taking care of your baby.
Also.. do yourself a favor and make sure your pediatrician has after hour call backs or a doctor on call so that you can always have your questions answered. Dont rely to much on what you read.... and dont go to others for answers CALL your pediatrician you pay them for a reason and they are here to answer all of your questions.. even if they seem dumb or seem as though you ask a lot... they are used to it!
be patient with the baby.. but be patient with yourself and your spouse. this is a learning experience and you will never be able to imagine how quick it goes by!
Enjoy every moment and write everything down! Take LOTS of pictures and try to make memories out of every situation so that you can always remember this precious time.
Teach your baby to go down to sleep awake. Do not nurse/feed to sleep. Its so much easier in the long run
Sometimes babies just need to cry. When you have done everything you can, and nothing works, sometimes they just need to cry it out.
If your motherly instincts is telling u something's wrong- SOMETHING IS WRONG
Don't try to wait with anything that seems not normal, call the dr right away, dont' worry they won't think of u as a freaky and paniky mother, they see u as a caring and loving mother who cares about her child.
I've learned, I'd asked my mom 'gee what could be wrong I feel like there's something wrong with my son' she'd say dont' worry this is normal, and it wasn't so I learned, from now on I feel something's not right, I call the Dr or go to ER, better safe then sorry
Good luck, and Congrats to the new mommy!! Take care!
if you havent already had your baby i can tell you that there is nothing i can say to prepare you for this - because its hugh and the following points will only be relevant to you as you are experiencing being a new mum.
1. rest/sleep when your baby does,
2. don't be afraid to let your baby cry a little, it wont harm them
3.remember that your life is going to change and that you are going to be shocked a little as to how much time they take up but give in quickly and you will soon learn your babies needs and
4. get into a routine which is important for you and baby
5. you may be reluctant to recieve help at first but dont be you need to rest and people know what its like and how hard it is and thats why they offer
6. get hubby to take care of you thats what hes there for - all the chores and cooking should be done by him, you concentrate on nursing the baby
7. eat well (hubbys job again) as you burn an extra 500 calories whilst bf and drink plenty too.
8. enjoy your baby they grow up so fast - dont wish their wee lifes away
It's good to give baby a warm bath and warm bottle before bedtime. It will make him/her easier to fall asleep.
Be goofy with your baby sometimes...children remind us that it's okay to be a little silly.
Sit baby up in front of PBS Kids. All I can say about that one is my son skipped up a grade and I had him in his chair when I had to do the dishes or some light chores.
Don't let your child mess up your place after you just organized it. Take them to the park to play. Close off/lock door of the rooms that you tidied up if possible. It can be draining to constantly have to pick up after a toddler taking everything out of drawers and off of shelves.
Always have a little snack or juice with you when you are traveling on public transportation. Sometimes people might be eating a snack and your child might realize that he/she wants a snack too.
--Enjoy every moment, b/c especially in the first few months, it goes by SO fast (due to sleep deprivation, worry, concern, and being busy).
--Don't be ashamed about taking the time to recover. Don't let anyone let you think you're ';taking too much time.';
--Take a lot of pictures.
--Try not to get overwhelmed by the responsibility. Especially, if you're a single Mother. The task can be daunting, but worth every minute.
--Save money as soon as you find out you're pregnant. Hold on to it for dear life. Things come up. And, it's the little things that add up.
--Work your A*S off at work, and get those promotions, bonuses, etc.....
--Have a lot of receiving blankets, hats, bigs, pacifiers, bottles, wipes, and diapers handy.
--Invest in a good baby bath for infants. It makes life a lot easier.
--Listen to your baby.
--Keep your cool.
Good luck!!!!!!!!!
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