I'm 21, happily married, we planned the pregnancy, and I was completely ecstatic to be pregnant. Now all of a sudden, I'm terrified! The closer I get to birth, the more terrified I get. I know that being scared and having second thoughts is normal in first time pregnancies, but I didn't think I'd be one of those women because I was soooo happy for most of my pregnancy. I just kept envisioning holding my sweet little baby and nursing her...you know, all the good things that come with being a mother. Now I just can't stop thinking about all the bad things like no sleep, endless crying, no time alone for my husband and I, never being able to just get up and go somewhere whenever I want. Is it terrible of me to be thinking like this? Did anyone else feel this way and how did you cope with it?38 Weeks pregnant and all of a sudden I'm terrified about the idea of being a mother...advice anyone?
Yes, it is normal for you to feel this way. These thoughts are not horrible although I know I had some of them and it made me feel as if it was wrong of me to think about those things, but what really helped me was from about 30 weeks on my husband and I would spend at least one day a week together just me and him with our phones turned off and usually late at night we would take walks around town and just talk about whatever was on our mind or future things that we would get to share together as a family....it was kindof like a closure thing with letting go of the fact that it was no longer just the two of us but it would be the three of us and we had so many wonderful things to look forward to. It made us closer and made me soooo grateful to have created our daughter together and to know that she would be so loved!
I also have to say that YES for the first few months you get no sleep, have endless crying and finding time for you and your hubby will be scarce, but it goes by sooooo fast and it wont last forever. You two just have to talk about things and try to make time for just the two of you to get out and eat or have a little date at least once a month! That is what my husband and I did (after the first 2 months b/c before then i couldnt bare to leave her) but it was really nice to get out and reconnect!! So your feelings will pass evenutally and if you're still having them after the baby comes dont worry, for the first couple of weeks I still felt this way to an extent, but it was a bit overwhelming. It will pass and you will love your little one like nothing else! 38 Weeks pregnant and all of a sudden I'm terrified about the idea of being a mother...advice anyone?
cher you have a rough time ahead but you have to live and learn some times but just dont give up because you can look back after it all and say you did it,it wont be easy but its a good way to appreciate now what your mother went through (and alot of things she would have said growing up you will comprehend when having kids)
everybody gets these fears. what made u trigger them though? you'll forget all about it when you see your own baby for the first time. think about it, seeing your own baby for the first time? you won't know what to feel and then all these feelings come rushing to you and you'll even forget about asking this question!
It is normal to feel like this, in a way its good that you are also thinking of the reality of having a baby and not just the 'fairytale' version of it. Of course you do go through sleep deprevation, crying etc etc BUT even while you are going through this you would never trade it for not having your baby, it can take a few weeks to adjust and it can be a bit of a shock to the system, especially for a first time mum, but it does get easier and easier. I remember even while I was going through those difficult first few weeks with my son (first child) I was thinking how I loved him at that stage and didn't want him to get any older, and as he got to each next stage I also thought - I love him at this stage too - its kind of like you grow with your child. Someone told me after I had my first child that was definatley true - ';the first six weeks are hard, the next six are better and then it just gets easier and easier';. When your baby is born all those worries will disappear as you hold him/her in your arms, and you will just deal with situations as they arise and you will get through it - its hard at times but its also wonderful, fun and amazing. I kind of felt like that more with my second child, my first baby was pretty hard work and was a crier and we had massive sleep deprevation (he was diagnosed as lactose intolerant from massive doses of IV antibiotics that I received when he was a few days old that went through his system and damaged the lining of his intestines (he got better around 12 weeks) we were really scared about number two, but as she was pretty healthy it was amazingly different and so much easier than the first time. Enjoy the last couple of weeks of your pregnancy, be excited about the impending birth of your baby and know that you will get through the newborn stage, just take it easy on yourself, concentrate on you, your husband and your baby and don't worry about anything else. All the best.
You sound like I did before I had my daughter a week ago. ;)
I am also a first time mother, and a single one at that, so there were and still are a lot of fears. I'm pretty sure we will have fears about our kids their entire lives.
I highly recommend an epidural!!! Your birth will be so much easier with one. When your child is born, you will find yourself head over heels in love with someone you just met. I am in awe when I look at her and can't believe I made such a beautiful human being that is completely helpless and has the power at one week old to stare into my eyes and make me cry from happiness.
When you start to feel scared, think of those things. You and your husband will be great parents! Work together with the baby. While you both are adjusting from it just being the 2 of you to being parents try to have patience! My daughter has her days and nights mixed up and im exhausted but It is SOOO worth everything! When you look at yours and your husbands little creation for the first time, you will forget you were ever worried right now.
Good Luck to you Both!!
Hang in There.
No it's totally normal when me and my girlfriend had a child at first we were both overwhelmed with joy etc... but we started feeling like we would never had a life again but i tell you straight from the heart once my daughter was born i felt a great pride she's the most beautifull, adorable person in the world i love her so much and even if it was true about never haveing a life again for her i woudl sacrafice it! But yes you'll get time a lone and not all babys are screamy. My daughter never has tantams 'cause i made it quite clear that they don't work. And glad to hear it was planned me and my girlfriend where given gods gift when we where 15 but however much abuse i get it's totaly worth it. Just don't worry everything will be fine =D but good luck for the futur.
I'm 9 wks with a planned pregnacy wtih my husband.. my son is 9 to a previous relationship when i was much younger.. i have the same thoughts!!! i'm freakin out too but at the same time i know I'll deal with it when the time comes.
You will too. The crying is not so bad because its YOUR baby..the sleepless nights are not so bad either because you already can't sleep properly at night because your belly is uncomfortable, you may have pains in places when you try to move in bed, you need to pee constantly at night. when the baby comes you will get more sleep then you will in the next couple of weeks. your body is already preparing you for it.
Everyone says that when you see your baby it all comes together, your instincts kick in. And its true...there is nothing in this world like it. You'll be scared at first but then you will not be able to stop looking at her and you'll move heaven and earth to do anything for this tiny little thing that you have only just met. Your boobs will hurt and crack and you will go through the most excruitiating pain to get her here but you really do forget! there is something built in to your head that lockes out the pain. you will always remember it hurt and its not until the next one comes along that you go ' oh thats right now i remember' but by then its all to late and you got to go through it again lol.
You seem to be dedicated to having your baby.. you are having a momentary laps of confidence in yourself its ok. it will pass.
The time for your husband will take a while but you will see your husband in a much greater light... when you look at him holding your baby you'll be so much more in love with him then ever before and make sure you let him know how the experience makes you feel. he'll appreciate that you have to spend more time with the baby but also he'll love you all the more for being a good mum.
Getting up and going anywhere again.. it will be a little hard to adjust but you'll be more organised then every before as you'll havea routine to work around and going out will be something you won't really want to do that much.. but also when you do decide to go out it will be a moment to show off your gorgeous baby. you won't want to go anywhere without her.. also when you leave the house with your husband looking after her you'll feel like you forgot your right arm.. its very hard to walk out without your baby..
You'll be fine.. its not terrible to be thinking the way you are. its your body and mind coming together working through all the little things that were a part of the old you and leading you into being a mother..
i didn't plan my pregnancies, but accepted them when it happened. i was afraid to give birth, to be a mom, all the things you are afraid of. you aren't a bad person, it's only natural to fear the unknown. you might not have endless crying, one of mine did, the other didn't. the time alone for you and your husband will return, just don't let the baby dictate everything you do. of course you have to care for it, but you don't have to jump every time it cries, you deserve a life of your own, too. hopefully you'll be able to sleep while the baby sleeps, let other things go, like housework. it's so easy to get caught up in a trap when the baby naps, you start doing housework. DON'T! take a nap when the baby does. in a few months, get a friend to watch the baby, so you and your husband can go out for dinner or a movie. or better yet, if you have someone who can take the baby overnight, at your place or at theirs, then you can have a night of peace, quiet, cuddling and sleep, just you and your hubby. if it has to be babysitting at your place, get an inexpensive hotel room for a night. you get the drift, i won't write a book, relax, you'll be a great mom. ^_^ good luck!
It might be pre-partum depression. I had terrible postpartum depression, but I have heard that it is less common but possible to have pre-partum depression right before giving birth. It is caused by your hormones jumping around and trying to balance out. If it gets bad don't be afraid to get some help, as it can get REALLY scary. Your husband really should read up on it if this is the issue. My husband helped me through it...couldn't have gone through it without him.
Congratulations on your expected little one!! Babies are so much fun...your perfect little sweetie will change your life, but don't ever doubt that it is for the better. You will hardly remember life without your baby. :) %26lt;3
This is fairly normal.
The next 20 years or so are going to have their bad times (sleepless nights, nappy's etc) But there's also going to be good (a gorgeous child to call your own...)
Well alas sleepless nights are part and parcel - this will pass, at least til they get big enough to go out...
Not all babies cry all the time. If you are having issues then go to a mother and baby place that deals with crying, sleeping and other such issues...
You and your hubby may need to ';book'; a date night or two, a babysitter or nanny may have to do but grandparents and even aunts and uncles tend to love baby bubs.
For a little while travel is a bit more difficult. Have a travel pack in the car with nappies and everything you need and a back pack if you live in a smaller town or easily accessible city. Keep these stocked so you can grab and run.
Do some meditation and visual type exercises - so breathing in and out whilst relaxing, visualising a positive outcome / future.
Friday, July 30, 2010
What advice does anyone have for a 25 yr old mother going through the divorce of her parents?
I've looked for books on this subject. There is nothing. Do people think that because you are an adult, it should be easy to handle your parents' divorce? I feel like my world is falling apart.What advice does anyone have for a 25 yr old mother going through the divorce of her parents?
Yes, I've been through it. And you are right. It doesn't matter how old you are, it still effects you. It's a weird day when you start to realize that you parents are just people and not the super human being we think they are when we are young. They have their issues and problems just the same as we do.
We rely on our parents as our safety net and for security. But their divorce isn't going to change that. You still have two parents who love you. You still have them to talk to and rely on. Divorce from each other does not equal divorce from you.
Be careful not to let yourself get in the middle of it. And don't try to ';fix'; the marriage. They are adults and this is their decision.
Part of what bothers us when our parents divorce is the fear that if THEY can't keep a marriage together, that we won't be able to either. Don't let yourself start thinking that. You are not your parents. What you CAN do is learn from it. What was the cause of the breakdown? Can you learn from that and prevent it in your own marriage?
Be open and honest with them and let them know how you feel. But don't get involved in the details or take sides. You will never know all of the truth of the situation so try and stay neutral. Talk to your parents about it. You might find a counselor to talk to as well. What you are feeling is very normal. You will be okay. Eventually, you will all figure it out and it will work.
My parents were separated (never officially divorce for money reasons) for 17 years. When Dad got sick, he needed to be cared for so he moved in with me. That was a tough adjustment. I was worried that Mom would not want to come over and visit because he was there. It was a stressful time. But we all sat down and worked it out. In the end, it worked fine. Both parents agreed to set aside differences and work together.
Dad eventually passes away. But I was gratful for the time I had with him. By not letting their marital problems get in my way, I was able to spend the last year of my father's life with him and enjoy it.
You will learn how to enjoy your parents equally, but separately. It sounds awful and hard, but you can do it!
What do you have to lean on? Hmmm...only you can answer that. If your only strength comes from you parents, that's a problem.
I had my faith and trust in God. I know that no matter how weird my life gets, He is the rock that never moves or fails me. I can talk to Him in prayer and ask for help and guidence. This is what got me through it and continues to help me.
How about your husband? Any siblings? You might be surprised at where your help comes from. Find someone to talk to about it. (you can always email me :)
YOu'll be fine! ;)What advice does anyone have for a 25 yr old mother going through the divorce of her parents?
I know how you feel my parent are divorced it's a hard thing but you will get over it. it's been hard but i have learned to deal with it anyway. it is hard i am not say that it isn't
cool girl
It's harder then what most people think, but what you need to do is remove yourself from their problems %26amp; always remember that they each love you no differently. Your world is not falling apart, just changing. If either of them makes you feel at any time that you are siding or need to side with one over the other - stop them and tell them right away what they are doing. Understand that at some point they may move on with another person and what you must focus on is their happiness. Ask yourself if you would rather have two divorced parents that are happy with their lives or married parents that are miserable!
Just because your older doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt...The only advantage is that your old enough to understand and make your own decisions and have your own thoughts and feelings than a child who is young and doesn't know or understand......Just try to be there for both parents. It must be hard for them as well.....If your open minded then you can still heal as a family even though your parents are divorcing......
Hot, I feel badly for you, but my husband and I are middle-aged, and we have gone through the divorces of many friends who had children who were young adults, and after a few years go by, we have realized that it was probably the best thing for everyone. A lot of these couples just wait until the children are raised to end a marriage that hasn't been much of a marriage for a long time.
Try to maintain your relationships with both of them. Don't let them put you in the middle of their problems. Don't take the position that one person is the good person and one person the bad person. You probably don't know everything about their relationship.
Have a plan about how you are going to deal with holidays. Don't let them guilt trip you about seeing the other person. If necessary, if one of them doesn't want you to have anything to do with that horrible person who is your other parent, remind that person that the reason that horrible person is your other parent is that he or she slept with him or her.
Take care of yourself. Good luck.
my parents split up 10 years ago and now they are finally divorced and when the papers came through it was hard to accept that it was finally over.
I don't thnk there is anything to say but as long as long as you have support from your family and friends you'll be ok.
AND DON'T BLAME YOURSELF
the parents are divorcing each other-not their children (adult or otherwise). it is not up to you to try to ';fix'; their problem. try to remain neutral and to get along with both of them.
Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes divorce is a mistake, depends on the circumstances but all you can do is to be loving and understanding to both of them. If they are on friendly terms with one another, it would help. But if not, try not to take sides. As to your hurting over their divorce, time will take care of it and a lot of tears.
its more difficult to accept parents divorce as u grow older... u r old enuf to advise them not to... if they still wana do it, u can visit them seperately as n when u want tho its not easy to see them seperate...u have ur own baby is what I understand..so concentrate on ur baby n see it to it u dont do same mistake
pray for strength. and try to leave them to themselves until the dust settles.
i would imagine that as an adult u still hurt behind something like this, but being an adult u are better equipped than a minor to understand the dynamics that lead to divorce.
pray for strength. one or both of ur parents may need u as their rock
It depends on how old your parents are and we never DIVORCE them we just move out and have our own place and visit once a week. Just to make sure that they are alright any thing else at your age would be a burden as you have your own life to live they already had there's so no it's not a total parting it's just a rest from them for a while.
AGONY UNCLE
The effect of divorce is devastating for kids no matter what age. At 25 you have the ability to sort things out better than a younger person, though. You say you feel as if your world is falling apart, and in some ways it is - acknowledge that - the world as you know it will be different. You need time to grieve the death of your parents marriage. Some of what you are experiencing is the total lack of any control over what is happening. Your parents will still be there, however unfortunately they will not be together. There is a way you can establish some control - think about how you will deal with your parents %26amp; your kids' birthdays and other special events. Tell your parents how it will be - if you want both parents at events tell them you expect them to behave and not ruin your kids' parties. Think about how to handle Christmas, etc - Christmas Eve with one parent Christmas Day with the other, etc. If you start to process some of the changes you will begin to feel more control.
I hope this helps - Good luck.
I can understand how it can be hard, but you need to try to look at it from a different perspective. Chances are, your parents stayed together because they thought it was best for you. They love you!
However, they deserve to be happy! You need to try to look at this with an understanding heart! Divorce is NEVER easy! I'm sure they thought that by waiting until you were an adult, it would be easier for you. Try to be appreciative of the sacrifies they made to keep the marriage together through the most crucial times in your life. Although it isn't ever easy, as an adult, you should have the ability to see things a little clearer and be willing to understand why they are doing it. Sometimes the life that we give our children is completely different than the life we are actually living! I am in that situation right now. My children have no idea how unhappy I truly am! They have no idea that their father and I have only had sex 1 time in the last year! They have no idea the he is financially ruining us! There are many things that I don't allow my children to know because they are not mentally capable of understanding them! BUT, I love them!!!! I stay with their father because I feel they deserve to have both of us in their lives! I believe that it would be worse for them to go through a divorce right now then it is for me to be unhappy!!
You don't understand! You shouldn't understand! That means that one or both of your parents did a great job providing a life for you and hiding their unhappiness for the sake of that life!
I'm sorry you are going through this! I know it must be hard, but it isn't the worst thing in the world! Try to be supportive and understanding! They are searching for happiness - maybe they will find it!!!
just get busy with your own life...
when your parents split its sad no mater how old you are. Just try to stay nutral and not take sides. dont talk about the other parent around the other. Know your parents love u and this is hard for them too
good luck
You have another question posted which makes it clear you have your hands full with your own challenges. Focus on your family and your husband. Mom and dad have their own life. It is not all that unusual for spouses to have difficulty transitioning from being parents to empty-nesters. Some hang on just for the sake of the kids, and feel free to split after the kids appear to be established. It's sad, but it's not your fault. Resolve to do better in your own marriage.
When my parents went through their divorce it was very hard. I couldn't understand how two people after 25 years of being together just give up.
Back then I was crushed, but now I will tell you that it was the best thing that ever happened to me because it gave me the chance to really get to know who my parents are as individuals.
Yes, I've been through it. And you are right. It doesn't matter how old you are, it still effects you. It's a weird day when you start to realize that you parents are just people and not the super human being we think they are when we are young. They have their issues and problems just the same as we do.
We rely on our parents as our safety net and for security. But their divorce isn't going to change that. You still have two parents who love you. You still have them to talk to and rely on. Divorce from each other does not equal divorce from you.
Be careful not to let yourself get in the middle of it. And don't try to ';fix'; the marriage. They are adults and this is their decision.
Part of what bothers us when our parents divorce is the fear that if THEY can't keep a marriage together, that we won't be able to either. Don't let yourself start thinking that. You are not your parents. What you CAN do is learn from it. What was the cause of the breakdown? Can you learn from that and prevent it in your own marriage?
Be open and honest with them and let them know how you feel. But don't get involved in the details or take sides. You will never know all of the truth of the situation so try and stay neutral. Talk to your parents about it. You might find a counselor to talk to as well. What you are feeling is very normal. You will be okay. Eventually, you will all figure it out and it will work.
My parents were separated (never officially divorce for money reasons) for 17 years. When Dad got sick, he needed to be cared for so he moved in with me. That was a tough adjustment. I was worried that Mom would not want to come over and visit because he was there. It was a stressful time. But we all sat down and worked it out. In the end, it worked fine. Both parents agreed to set aside differences and work together.
Dad eventually passes away. But I was gratful for the time I had with him. By not letting their marital problems get in my way, I was able to spend the last year of my father's life with him and enjoy it.
You will learn how to enjoy your parents equally, but separately. It sounds awful and hard, but you can do it!
What do you have to lean on? Hmmm...only you can answer that. If your only strength comes from you parents, that's a problem.
I had my faith and trust in God. I know that no matter how weird my life gets, He is the rock that never moves or fails me. I can talk to Him in prayer and ask for help and guidence. This is what got me through it and continues to help me.
How about your husband? Any siblings? You might be surprised at where your help comes from. Find someone to talk to about it. (you can always email me :)
YOu'll be fine! ;)What advice does anyone have for a 25 yr old mother going through the divorce of her parents?
I know how you feel my parent are divorced it's a hard thing but you will get over it. it's been hard but i have learned to deal with it anyway. it is hard i am not say that it isn't
cool girl
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It's harder then what most people think, but what you need to do is remove yourself from their problems %26amp; always remember that they each love you no differently. Your world is not falling apart, just changing. If either of them makes you feel at any time that you are siding or need to side with one over the other - stop them and tell them right away what they are doing. Understand that at some point they may move on with another person and what you must focus on is their happiness. Ask yourself if you would rather have two divorced parents that are happy with their lives or married parents that are miserable!
Just because your older doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt...The only advantage is that your old enough to understand and make your own decisions and have your own thoughts and feelings than a child who is young and doesn't know or understand......Just try to be there for both parents. It must be hard for them as well.....If your open minded then you can still heal as a family even though your parents are divorcing......
Hot, I feel badly for you, but my husband and I are middle-aged, and we have gone through the divorces of many friends who had children who were young adults, and after a few years go by, we have realized that it was probably the best thing for everyone. A lot of these couples just wait until the children are raised to end a marriage that hasn't been much of a marriage for a long time.
Try to maintain your relationships with both of them. Don't let them put you in the middle of their problems. Don't take the position that one person is the good person and one person the bad person. You probably don't know everything about their relationship.
Have a plan about how you are going to deal with holidays. Don't let them guilt trip you about seeing the other person. If necessary, if one of them doesn't want you to have anything to do with that horrible person who is your other parent, remind that person that the reason that horrible person is your other parent is that he or she slept with him or her.
Take care of yourself. Good luck.
my parents split up 10 years ago and now they are finally divorced and when the papers came through it was hard to accept that it was finally over.
I don't thnk there is anything to say but as long as long as you have support from your family and friends you'll be ok.
AND DON'T BLAME YOURSELF
the parents are divorcing each other-not their children (adult or otherwise). it is not up to you to try to ';fix'; their problem. try to remain neutral and to get along with both of them.
Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes divorce is a mistake, depends on the circumstances but all you can do is to be loving and understanding to both of them. If they are on friendly terms with one another, it would help. But if not, try not to take sides. As to your hurting over their divorce, time will take care of it and a lot of tears.
its more difficult to accept parents divorce as u grow older... u r old enuf to advise them not to... if they still wana do it, u can visit them seperately as n when u want tho its not easy to see them seperate...u have ur own baby is what I understand..so concentrate on ur baby n see it to it u dont do same mistake
pray for strength. and try to leave them to themselves until the dust settles.
i would imagine that as an adult u still hurt behind something like this, but being an adult u are better equipped than a minor to understand the dynamics that lead to divorce.
pray for strength. one or both of ur parents may need u as their rock
It depends on how old your parents are and we never DIVORCE them we just move out and have our own place and visit once a week. Just to make sure that they are alright any thing else at your age would be a burden as you have your own life to live they already had there's so no it's not a total parting it's just a rest from them for a while.
AGONY UNCLE
The effect of divorce is devastating for kids no matter what age. At 25 you have the ability to sort things out better than a younger person, though. You say you feel as if your world is falling apart, and in some ways it is - acknowledge that - the world as you know it will be different. You need time to grieve the death of your parents marriage. Some of what you are experiencing is the total lack of any control over what is happening. Your parents will still be there, however unfortunately they will not be together. There is a way you can establish some control - think about how you will deal with your parents %26amp; your kids' birthdays and other special events. Tell your parents how it will be - if you want both parents at events tell them you expect them to behave and not ruin your kids' parties. Think about how to handle Christmas, etc - Christmas Eve with one parent Christmas Day with the other, etc. If you start to process some of the changes you will begin to feel more control.
I hope this helps - Good luck.
I can understand how it can be hard, but you need to try to look at it from a different perspective. Chances are, your parents stayed together because they thought it was best for you. They love you!
However, they deserve to be happy! You need to try to look at this with an understanding heart! Divorce is NEVER easy! I'm sure they thought that by waiting until you were an adult, it would be easier for you. Try to be appreciative of the sacrifies they made to keep the marriage together through the most crucial times in your life. Although it isn't ever easy, as an adult, you should have the ability to see things a little clearer and be willing to understand why they are doing it. Sometimes the life that we give our children is completely different than the life we are actually living! I am in that situation right now. My children have no idea how unhappy I truly am! They have no idea that their father and I have only had sex 1 time in the last year! They have no idea the he is financially ruining us! There are many things that I don't allow my children to know because they are not mentally capable of understanding them! BUT, I love them!!!! I stay with their father because I feel they deserve to have both of us in their lives! I believe that it would be worse for them to go through a divorce right now then it is for me to be unhappy!!
You don't understand! You shouldn't understand! That means that one or both of your parents did a great job providing a life for you and hiding their unhappiness for the sake of that life!
I'm sorry you are going through this! I know it must be hard, but it isn't the worst thing in the world! Try to be supportive and understanding! They are searching for happiness - maybe they will find it!!!
just get busy with your own life...
when your parents split its sad no mater how old you are. Just try to stay nutral and not take sides. dont talk about the other parent around the other. Know your parents love u and this is hard for them too
good luck
You have another question posted which makes it clear you have your hands full with your own challenges. Focus on your family and your husband. Mom and dad have their own life. It is not all that unusual for spouses to have difficulty transitioning from being parents to empty-nesters. Some hang on just for the sake of the kids, and feel free to split after the kids appear to be established. It's sad, but it's not your fault. Resolve to do better in your own marriage.
When my parents went through their divorce it was very hard. I couldn't understand how two people after 25 years of being together just give up.
Back then I was crushed, but now I will tell you that it was the best thing that ever happened to me because it gave me the chance to really get to know who my parents are as individuals.
A mother needing some advice?
Do other mothers out there feel that it is hard to sympathize with their son after he has taken a shot to the ';family jewels';? especially if he his around 15-18 range. and their is no father in the picture. what is a mother supposed to say or do, I just find it a little awkward I guess. any mothers have experience in this area? if so what happened?A mother needing some advice?
no matter how would you like to have the mammogram down a little harder i think their is nothing wrong with the sympathy for that its a super tender area have a little compassion.i was always taught that's a no no kick as a young girl unless im fighting for life i was raised with 6 bros and never gave a shot there.A mother needing some advice?
haha ow...im a dad but you should still feel bad casue that crap hurts. it doesnt hurt as much when you are younger cause your ';jewels'; dont drop till around puberty. I think its equivalent to you getting punched in the chest a bunch of times...probably worse though. I would be pissed if someone kicked my kid there or period.
no matter how would you like to have the mammogram down a little harder i think their is nothing wrong with the sympathy for that its a super tender area have a little compassion.i was always taught that's a no no kick as a young girl unless im fighting for life i was raised with 6 bros and never gave a shot there.A mother needing some advice?
haha ow...im a dad but you should still feel bad casue that crap hurts. it doesnt hurt as much when you are younger cause your ';jewels'; dont drop till around puberty. I think its equivalent to you getting punched in the chest a bunch of times...probably worse though. I would be pissed if someone kicked my kid there or period.
My child eats the cheese alone without adding it with bread my mother says it is not good for health. advice?
My girl child is very fond of cheese and she eats the cheese alone (only a slice per day she eats) without adding it with bread or someother thing. My mother says eating cheese alone without bread is not godd for health. please advice meMy child eats the cheese alone without adding it with bread my mother says it is not good for health. advice?
For growing kids cheese is an excellent food. Good protein and good calcium. Ten slices a day would probably be much better than one slice a day. If she drinks plenty of milk then one slice of cheese per day would be enough. Cheese makes an excellent and healthy snack with or without bread or anything else.My child eats the cheese alone without adding it with bread my mother says it is not good for health. advice?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with eating cheese alone. If you are buying the American cheese slices, though, I suggest buying a better cheese, such as medium or sharp cheddar, and cutting it into one ounce cubes for her to eat. My husband and I both love cheese, and we often eat it plain, but we also add it to many different dishes, including Asaigo on Italian foods, Brie with different fruits, extra sharp cheddar in grilled cheese sandwiches, gorgonzola and or mozarella on salads. I love Swiss cheese and also the other cheeses from Switzerland that come with holes, and I eat that alone to savor the flavor.
Your mother may be concerned because cheese can be constipating, but if your daughter also gets fruits and vegetables in her diet, the cheese isn't going to 'stop her up' ... you would have noticed that by now. Just spread the 'flavors' out and let her try them all ... she'll be a better eater when she's grown if you start her off correctly when she's young.
Your daughter's instinct is to go for the protein and she is craving a quick source of protein because she is growing.
Show her that she has a choice for variety. Such as lentils for lentil soup or beans for bean dip or almond butter or peanut butter with sliced apples or peanut butter filled celery sticks.
She just needs to have a variety because doctors know there is a condition that develops from too much dairy every day without variety. That condition is anemia.
Symptoms are bloody noses and fainting spells. So, too much of one thing can cause a deficiency if she is only going for the cheese without variety.
When I was 9 going through a growth spirt, I kept going for the milk and corn flakes after school. After a while, I ended up with a doctor visit only to find out I had anemia from too much milk and not enough variety. So, I'm not sharing old wives tales, just my two cents.
If its just once in a while, then I don't see the problem.
If there isn't a problem, then your mom just said something that got on your nerves. Like, butting in and it affected you to ask the question on yahoo. LOL. Don't let her get to you.
She's only eating a slice a day? I wouldn't worry about it, it's not like she's gnawing on a huge chunk a day. Cheese is a very healthy snack that is rich in calcium. If you're worried, talk to her pediatrician and don't run to your all knowing mother for nutrition advice.
It's fine. Cheese is high in calcium %26amp; protien, which are good for the body. It is also high in fat, which is not good, but as long as she is eating just one slice a day, that is fine.
your mom is tripping.my daughter loves cheese, no bread. the important thing is she is eating it she needs it for the dairy part of her diet.
Eaten in moderation (as with all things), cheese is an excellent snack for children. There is no harm whatsoever in eating a slice of cheese on its own.
Its not big deal if she eats a piece of cheese on her own. If you want to make sure she is consuming bread, let her have a slice with some jam on it.
No it's not bad. If she eats WAY too much she'll get constipated but that's it.
it's fine,
just make sure you cut a small piece for her, so she doesn't eat alot of it...,
not exactly a balanced meal.. but aslong as she isnt eating a brick of cheese.. i wouldnt stress...
For growing kids cheese is an excellent food. Good protein and good calcium. Ten slices a day would probably be much better than one slice a day. If she drinks plenty of milk then one slice of cheese per day would be enough. Cheese makes an excellent and healthy snack with or without bread or anything else.My child eats the cheese alone without adding it with bread my mother says it is not good for health. advice?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with eating cheese alone. If you are buying the American cheese slices, though, I suggest buying a better cheese, such as medium or sharp cheddar, and cutting it into one ounce cubes for her to eat. My husband and I both love cheese, and we often eat it plain, but we also add it to many different dishes, including Asaigo on Italian foods, Brie with different fruits, extra sharp cheddar in grilled cheese sandwiches, gorgonzola and or mozarella on salads. I love Swiss cheese and also the other cheeses from Switzerland that come with holes, and I eat that alone to savor the flavor.
Your mother may be concerned because cheese can be constipating, but if your daughter also gets fruits and vegetables in her diet, the cheese isn't going to 'stop her up' ... you would have noticed that by now. Just spread the 'flavors' out and let her try them all ... she'll be a better eater when she's grown if you start her off correctly when she's young.
Your daughter's instinct is to go for the protein and she is craving a quick source of protein because she is growing.
Show her that she has a choice for variety. Such as lentils for lentil soup or beans for bean dip or almond butter or peanut butter with sliced apples or peanut butter filled celery sticks.
She just needs to have a variety because doctors know there is a condition that develops from too much dairy every day without variety. That condition is anemia.
Symptoms are bloody noses and fainting spells. So, too much of one thing can cause a deficiency if she is only going for the cheese without variety.
When I was 9 going through a growth spirt, I kept going for the milk and corn flakes after school. After a while, I ended up with a doctor visit only to find out I had anemia from too much milk and not enough variety. So, I'm not sharing old wives tales, just my two cents.
If its just once in a while, then I don't see the problem.
If there isn't a problem, then your mom just said something that got on your nerves. Like, butting in and it affected you to ask the question on yahoo. LOL. Don't let her get to you.
She's only eating a slice a day? I wouldn't worry about it, it's not like she's gnawing on a huge chunk a day. Cheese is a very healthy snack that is rich in calcium. If you're worried, talk to her pediatrician and don't run to your all knowing mother for nutrition advice.
It's fine. Cheese is high in calcium %26amp; protien, which are good for the body. It is also high in fat, which is not good, but as long as she is eating just one slice a day, that is fine.
your mom is tripping.my daughter loves cheese, no bread. the important thing is she is eating it she needs it for the dairy part of her diet.
Eaten in moderation (as with all things), cheese is an excellent snack for children. There is no harm whatsoever in eating a slice of cheese on its own.
Its not big deal if she eats a piece of cheese on her own. If you want to make sure she is consuming bread, let her have a slice with some jam on it.
No it's not bad. If she eats WAY too much she'll get constipated but that's it.
it's fine,
just make sure you cut a small piece for her, so she doesn't eat alot of it...,
not exactly a balanced meal.. but aslong as she isnt eating a brick of cheese.. i wouldnt stress...
Struggling with decisions about inviting mother to my wedding, need advice?
So I'm getting married in May, and everything is going to plan except for my fiancee's worries about my mother and baby brother. My parents divorced recently and it was UGLY, causing a huge rift in my family. She blatenly refuses to even speak with him and has instructed my brother who is 14 not to have anything with him either. The kid was a total spaz and still is, so I worry about any interactions going sour. Especially at the rehersal dinner and the ceremony.
After discussions with my soon to be, she suggested that if she couldn't act civil, then she should stay home, and I agree with her, but she's my mother and I feel some guilt about banning her from our wedding. Granted my mom and I don't get along, but shes my mom. I need some advice from those of you out there to give me something to work with to help weigh the situation out. Thank you for your help in advance.Struggling with decisions about inviting mother to my wedding, need advice?
I went through the same thing. My parents separated in March and I got married in September, my Mom was and still is very bitter. We were all worried how she would act at the wedding. My brother told her that if she showed her butt, even looked at my dad wrong, he would escort her out, actually he said he would throw her over his shoulder :) In the end it went off without a hitch. She realized that this day was not about her. So hopefully your mother will realize that she needs to act like an adult on your day too. Just talk to her, pt your foot down and let her know that you just want your day to be perfect and you will not let her ruin it.Struggling with decisions about inviting mother to my wedding, need advice?
I know how you feel, I'm in the same situation. When I told my mom I was getting married she asked right away if she was invited. I told her yes, and I did discuss that I expect her to act accordingly. So she know ahead of time what I expect from her. Another thing that I'm doing is going to seat her on the other side of the hall, and seat her with her brothers, so they can keep a close eye on her and distract her at the same time. Hope this helps.
Your mother being at your wedding is a ONCE IN A LIFETIME opportunity! This is the next big thing for you %26amp; your family. You are about to celebrate your love. Whatever happened in the past, just leave it there. It's important that you invite her because that is your mother! she carried you for 9 months, gave birth to you %26amp; raised you! no matter how bad things were in the past, you should just try to move on, move forward %26amp; be happy. Don't hold grudges or be skeptical of how she might act. You should just remind her that you want her to behave. Tell her that you want her at your wedding, you want to see her happy %26amp; to especially HAVE FUN! this is something you don't want her to miss. To even bring up the past %26amp; argue over it will just cause unnecessary stress for you %26amp; everyone. Don't worry about it %26amp; just focus on your special day.
If you dont invite her it may well be the greatest obstacle that will stand between her and you.
If you do invite her it may be the best move you can make.
You will only ever trully know the merits by inviting her
It would feel very hurtful for a close family member, especially a mother, to not be invited to her son's wedding. People will want to meet and congratulate her. Keep her busy, and seated with her side of the family on one side of you, your father's side on the other. My advice is to invite her, and remember she is ultimately responsible for herself. My opinion is that it is better set an example for what you expect through your own actions, to include rather than exclude, and enjoy your big day!
try the rehearsal dinner and go from there
Invite her but, make it an adult only ceremony to keep your brother away if it will make you feel better your mom might enjoy the excuse for a night out without her son. My parents are also divorced it was nasty its lasted for almost 5 years. (My parents hadn't stepped foot in the same in over 12 years and yes they played me and my sister against the other parent infact my sister and I were legally declared to not be children of the marriage to avoid paying child support)But, on my wedding day they were fine. They each hosted their own table as did my husbands parents who are also divorced. So we had four family tables.And I got 2 mother in laws.
My one mother in law did leave my husband's 2 younger brothers at home and took it as a mini vacation as she needed a break. Children were invited to our ceremony but, she said traveling with a 10 year old down syndrome child who does not adjust well and a 19 year old who is also a total spaz would be too much for her.
Good Luck
I asked the same question a few days ago....I feel for you...this is supposed to be a happy time for you and this just adds a ton of stress that won't end until the wedding is over. I got the advice of talking to all parties seperately with a warning and instill in them that this is your day and not theirs and if they can't prove they love you by granting you this then they have made the decision not to come...those are their only choices on your day! Then if they decide to come have designated monitors(babysitters) for each person to help minimize conflict....obviously seat them away from each other.Good luck to you! I know I'll need as much as you.
You need to have a get together with both sides of both familys way before your wedding. See how things go at the early party and make a decision from there. Should you and your fiance decide to not invite your mom and brother you will have to explain to them that their actions revoked their invitations. Make it very clear that you didn't want to do it but you aren't having children at your wedding and since they can't act like adults they can't come. Good luck.
Invite her, then see how it goes at the rehersal dinner. If she can't control herself for that, tell her she is not welcome at the wedding.
Invite her to the wedding, but not the reception. It'll be hard for anything to happen during the wedding part - however, if you're having both in the same location that could be difficult. Or, talk to your mother tell her the truth - let her know that she is important to you, but in order for you to have her at the wedding she needs to promise you that they'll both behave. Maybe get them to set up a pact for the sake of your wedding. Feel it out, you maybe surprised. If you mother's reaction is as such that she is offended and starts going off...tell her you were afraid she was going to react like that and that is why you won't be able to have her at the wedding. There is enough time between now and then that perhaps getting it over with now, she'll come around. Also, if it works out that they all come...be sure to have them seated at different sides and with different groups of people not related to the situation. Make it much easier for you and your soon-to-be wife. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you! I agree, mothers should be at the wedding. Big day for her too.
Talk with your mom %26amp; your brother %26amp; expain your concerns.
See if they will promise to behave %26amp; then give a trial run by inviting the families to a ';get to know you'; dinner. If they can not behave a dinner then sadly uninvite her but you have to live with your decision years after the bitter divorce wears off. She will be mad with you but she will hate your wife. Unfair but usually the case for inlaws - mothers can not blame their sons %26amp; that only leaves their wives. My Dad is a major pain (believe me my is worse than your mother) but I invited him to all his grandchildren's weddings %26amp; he only showed up for one but rsvp all of them. I do not regret inviting him though %26amp; playing damage control because I have a clear conscience.
Ok. let me get this right. Your mother has instructed your 14 yr old brother - her son - not to talk to his father? Regardless, this is your wedding, yours %26amp; hers. Your his big brother, right? And, this is your mom, irregardless of the fact that the divorce was ugly, your wedding won't be, I'm pretty sure your mom (%26amp; Dad)will want to be there to see you make your vows. Don't rule her out, as bad as she may seem right now %26amp; during this whole process.
You %26amp; your fiancee should console your little brother. He's only 14 years old. Tell him, in so many words, the reality of the situation-don't leave him out. Be honest, but not too blunt. I'm sure he looks up to you. %26amp; is probably a little jealous in the meantime. Now he's the only one home with mom %26amp; the issues from the divorce. (you don't mention anyone else)
If dad is out of the picture, he needs someone, %26amp; that someone is you. If mom is being ridiculous, then fiancee will have to step up. Literally.
Take care %26amp; Congrats on the wedding!
You'll regret it forever if you don't invite your Mom.
Talk with her, and ask her to please not let her own problems interfere with your big day. But, please invite her.
Is it possible to have some of your family members there to watch over things and smooth the way with her for you?
Well, here's the thing: you say she refuses to even speak to your father. If that is literally the case, then you don't have a problem. Just arrange for them to be seated away from one another. It's not like they have to speak to be in pictures together, either.
Now, just to share should you go in the other direction: There were two relatives, a cousin and an aunt, that I specifically did not invite to my wedding, due to abuse I endured from them as a child. I felt no guilt, and though even some of the family may (or maybe not) have wondered what the deal was, I really didn't care. It made my day so much more carefree and special without their evil souls darkening the happiest day of my life. Is your mother like them? I don't know. She doesn't sound like a completely horrible person, albeit that you two don't get along and she can definitely be spiteful. Just have a talk with her about all this. And the sooner the better, so that she can prepare herself mentally and also get over any resentment the talk causes. She's your mom. I'm guessing she'll come around.
You need to have a one-on-one conversation with your mother 'sans' fiancee. This is your MOTHER afterall. If she's not willing to be civil for your wedding, the biggest day of your life, then that's her loss. A wedding invitation is a privilege, not a right, regardless of relation.
As a divorced Mom who hates my ex with a passion and could care less if I ever spoke to him again. I would never cause a scene at one of my children's weddings that is there day. Maybe I am stupid but I can't imagine any parent cause a problem on a day that is that important.
For peace of mind talk to your Mom and explain your fears. tell her if she causes a problem she will be removed from the wedding.
Why does she think your brother should not talk to his Dad. Sorry she needs some help if she wants to control everyone like that.
GOOD LUCK and hope you have a wonderful marriagewhiteheads
After discussions with my soon to be, she suggested that if she couldn't act civil, then she should stay home, and I agree with her, but she's my mother and I feel some guilt about banning her from our wedding. Granted my mom and I don't get along, but shes my mom. I need some advice from those of you out there to give me something to work with to help weigh the situation out. Thank you for your help in advance.Struggling with decisions about inviting mother to my wedding, need advice?
I went through the same thing. My parents separated in March and I got married in September, my Mom was and still is very bitter. We were all worried how she would act at the wedding. My brother told her that if she showed her butt, even looked at my dad wrong, he would escort her out, actually he said he would throw her over his shoulder :) In the end it went off without a hitch. She realized that this day was not about her. So hopefully your mother will realize that she needs to act like an adult on your day too. Just talk to her, pt your foot down and let her know that you just want your day to be perfect and you will not let her ruin it.Struggling with decisions about inviting mother to my wedding, need advice?
I know how you feel, I'm in the same situation. When I told my mom I was getting married she asked right away if she was invited. I told her yes, and I did discuss that I expect her to act accordingly. So she know ahead of time what I expect from her. Another thing that I'm doing is going to seat her on the other side of the hall, and seat her with her brothers, so they can keep a close eye on her and distract her at the same time. Hope this helps.
Your mother being at your wedding is a ONCE IN A LIFETIME opportunity! This is the next big thing for you %26amp; your family. You are about to celebrate your love. Whatever happened in the past, just leave it there. It's important that you invite her because that is your mother! she carried you for 9 months, gave birth to you %26amp; raised you! no matter how bad things were in the past, you should just try to move on, move forward %26amp; be happy. Don't hold grudges or be skeptical of how she might act. You should just remind her that you want her to behave. Tell her that you want her at your wedding, you want to see her happy %26amp; to especially HAVE FUN! this is something you don't want her to miss. To even bring up the past %26amp; argue over it will just cause unnecessary stress for you %26amp; everyone. Don't worry about it %26amp; just focus on your special day.
If you dont invite her it may well be the greatest obstacle that will stand between her and you.
If you do invite her it may be the best move you can make.
You will only ever trully know the merits by inviting her
It would feel very hurtful for a close family member, especially a mother, to not be invited to her son's wedding. People will want to meet and congratulate her. Keep her busy, and seated with her side of the family on one side of you, your father's side on the other. My advice is to invite her, and remember she is ultimately responsible for herself. My opinion is that it is better set an example for what you expect through your own actions, to include rather than exclude, and enjoy your big day!
try the rehearsal dinner and go from there
Invite her but, make it an adult only ceremony to keep your brother away if it will make you feel better your mom might enjoy the excuse for a night out without her son. My parents are also divorced it was nasty its lasted for almost 5 years. (My parents hadn't stepped foot in the same in over 12 years and yes they played me and my sister against the other parent infact my sister and I were legally declared to not be children of the marriage to avoid paying child support)But, on my wedding day they were fine. They each hosted their own table as did my husbands parents who are also divorced. So we had four family tables.And I got 2 mother in laws.
My one mother in law did leave my husband's 2 younger brothers at home and took it as a mini vacation as she needed a break. Children were invited to our ceremony but, she said traveling with a 10 year old down syndrome child who does not adjust well and a 19 year old who is also a total spaz would be too much for her.
Good Luck
I asked the same question a few days ago....I feel for you...this is supposed to be a happy time for you and this just adds a ton of stress that won't end until the wedding is over. I got the advice of talking to all parties seperately with a warning and instill in them that this is your day and not theirs and if they can't prove they love you by granting you this then they have made the decision not to come...those are their only choices on your day! Then if they decide to come have designated monitors(babysitters) for each person to help minimize conflict....obviously seat them away from each other.Good luck to you! I know I'll need as much as you.
You need to have a get together with both sides of both familys way before your wedding. See how things go at the early party and make a decision from there. Should you and your fiance decide to not invite your mom and brother you will have to explain to them that their actions revoked their invitations. Make it very clear that you didn't want to do it but you aren't having children at your wedding and since they can't act like adults they can't come. Good luck.
Invite her, then see how it goes at the rehersal dinner. If she can't control herself for that, tell her she is not welcome at the wedding.
Invite her to the wedding, but not the reception. It'll be hard for anything to happen during the wedding part - however, if you're having both in the same location that could be difficult. Or, talk to your mother tell her the truth - let her know that she is important to you, but in order for you to have her at the wedding she needs to promise you that they'll both behave. Maybe get them to set up a pact for the sake of your wedding. Feel it out, you maybe surprised. If you mother's reaction is as such that she is offended and starts going off...tell her you were afraid she was going to react like that and that is why you won't be able to have her at the wedding. There is enough time between now and then that perhaps getting it over with now, she'll come around. Also, if it works out that they all come...be sure to have them seated at different sides and with different groups of people not related to the situation. Make it much easier for you and your soon-to-be wife. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you! I agree, mothers should be at the wedding. Big day for her too.
Talk with your mom %26amp; your brother %26amp; expain your concerns.
See if they will promise to behave %26amp; then give a trial run by inviting the families to a ';get to know you'; dinner. If they can not behave a dinner then sadly uninvite her but you have to live with your decision years after the bitter divorce wears off. She will be mad with you but she will hate your wife. Unfair but usually the case for inlaws - mothers can not blame their sons %26amp; that only leaves their wives. My Dad is a major pain (believe me my is worse than your mother) but I invited him to all his grandchildren's weddings %26amp; he only showed up for one but rsvp all of them. I do not regret inviting him though %26amp; playing damage control because I have a clear conscience.
Ok. let me get this right. Your mother has instructed your 14 yr old brother - her son - not to talk to his father? Regardless, this is your wedding, yours %26amp; hers. Your his big brother, right? And, this is your mom, irregardless of the fact that the divorce was ugly, your wedding won't be, I'm pretty sure your mom (%26amp; Dad)will want to be there to see you make your vows. Don't rule her out, as bad as she may seem right now %26amp; during this whole process.
You %26amp; your fiancee should console your little brother. He's only 14 years old. Tell him, in so many words, the reality of the situation-don't leave him out. Be honest, but not too blunt. I'm sure he looks up to you. %26amp; is probably a little jealous in the meantime. Now he's the only one home with mom %26amp; the issues from the divorce. (you don't mention anyone else)
If dad is out of the picture, he needs someone, %26amp; that someone is you. If mom is being ridiculous, then fiancee will have to step up. Literally.
Take care %26amp; Congrats on the wedding!
You'll regret it forever if you don't invite your Mom.
Talk with her, and ask her to please not let her own problems interfere with your big day. But, please invite her.
Is it possible to have some of your family members there to watch over things and smooth the way with her for you?
Well, here's the thing: you say she refuses to even speak to your father. If that is literally the case, then you don't have a problem. Just arrange for them to be seated away from one another. It's not like they have to speak to be in pictures together, either.
Now, just to share should you go in the other direction: There were two relatives, a cousin and an aunt, that I specifically did not invite to my wedding, due to abuse I endured from them as a child. I felt no guilt, and though even some of the family may (or maybe not) have wondered what the deal was, I really didn't care. It made my day so much more carefree and special without their evil souls darkening the happiest day of my life. Is your mother like them? I don't know. She doesn't sound like a completely horrible person, albeit that you two don't get along and she can definitely be spiteful. Just have a talk with her about all this. And the sooner the better, so that she can prepare herself mentally and also get over any resentment the talk causes. She's your mom. I'm guessing she'll come around.
You need to have a one-on-one conversation with your mother 'sans' fiancee. This is your MOTHER afterall. If she's not willing to be civil for your wedding, the biggest day of your life, then that's her loss. A wedding invitation is a privilege, not a right, regardless of relation.
As a divorced Mom who hates my ex with a passion and could care less if I ever spoke to him again. I would never cause a scene at one of my children's weddings that is there day. Maybe I am stupid but I can't imagine any parent cause a problem on a day that is that important.
For peace of mind talk to your Mom and explain your fears. tell her if she causes a problem she will be removed from the wedding.
Why does she think your brother should not talk to his Dad. Sorry she needs some help if she wants to control everyone like that.
GOOD LUCK and hope you have a wonderful marriage
Positive advice...mother in law.?
My mother in law who lives all the way across the world, and who has medical problems is coming for 2 to 3 months to stay with my husband and I when I give birth. The plane flight is 27 hours away. It is only right that she stays for a while, and she will help me and all that.
I just was worried that I will get totally tired of her and get all crazy feeling, or will I be so tired, that I will welcome any assitance.
My husband has asked me to try to understand that she is the only one that can come over here, because it is so expensive ($3000 to fly) and I should relax.
How do I not become selfish and learn how to deal with my mother in law living with us for 2 to 3 months.
BTW...she is a very caring woman and I like her...thank God.
I'm just worried, I won't have any alone time with my baby while i have the opportunity to be home with maternity leave.Positive advice...mother in law.?
When I gave birth to my daughter I had the same feelings. The only difference is that I lived with my mother-in-law. A few weeks before she would go around trying to give me advice and not only that she would tell me how her other grandkids loved her so much they would rather be with her than with their mother. I was so upset. That I told her to mind her own business ( I know totally rude) a few days after I gave birth I felt so bad because of this. I realized that although I wanted to be with my daughter even if it was just to look at her little face, so did she. I mean we always think about our children but can you imagine the day your child has a baby. To see them grow and become good people and see how after all the good things and the bad things they are starting a new famiy. Don't worry because I know that you want to spend all the time with your baby and you will. You will spend a lifetime with them you will be the number one for the no matter what. But your mother in law will only have pictures to look at and maybe memories of the times she came to visit and being that she lives so far their won't be many. Give her a chance to enjoy her grandchild because she only wants to feel needed and wanted she only wants to help. My mother-in- law told me this and I started crying because I felt so guilty she loves my daughter and will give her everything. The baby is yours and will all be yours you decide what advice that she gives you you will use. You will be happy learning from someone that has experience and she will be happy knowing that she helped.Positive advice...mother in law.?
I wish I could tell you that you won't get tired of your mother-in-law, but I can't. My sister had her mother-in-law come to help for a month after she had her first child and her mother-in-law is the kindest women I have ever met. Very helpful, nice, loving, all of that. She was ready for her to leave after about two weeks. The main thing to do is to make sure you have a mutual friend to vent to, not your husband. I was my sisters, and it was good for her because she had someone to listen to and assure her that it was normal. You are going to want alone time with your new baby and will want your house back. Just remember that it is your house and if there is something that she is doing then think of a way that is kind and non-judging to tell her. This will prevent feelings from getting hurt and make for a better extended visit. It will be very helpful to have her there, just try to get use to the idea before she comes and think of things to do that could get you alone time (like having her go to the grocery store), but also where you two do things together. Best of luck!
I think her being a mother herself will be there but not be some much there. Do you understand. I'm sure she understands how it feels to have mommy baby time and I'm sure she'll respect that and give you guys your space. Make the best of the visit. From the way it sounds you don't have to see her that often. My mother in law lives 2 houses away.
I understand why you would feel this way. Every new mother has an ideal of what it will be like bringing her new baby home and being a family with mom dad and new baby. I think you two should have time alone before she comes but this seems to already be in the works and she is well on her way.
I'm sure she will have plenty of advice as all MILs do, just take it and say thank you and if you disagree be respectful about it. Just remember she will soon be going home and you will be able to get back to your normal lives.
Having someone else in your home may be imposing and when she seems to overstay her welcome keep in mind her positive attributes.
My dear, I have had a similar problem. Grandmas always want to stay with the new baby... when they live far away, they have to stay awhile. I don't know if this is your first baby or not, but... having a baby is quite a shock. Literally, my son did not stop crying for 3 days. Tiny babies exhaust you in a way you would not believe. I think that you and your mother-in-law will probably be sharing ';shifts'; with the new member.
If you breast feed, get a breast pump- you will want to give some feeding shifts to grandma, as well as bath time, 3:00 am crying time, or just 4am I-am-up-and-I ain't-gonna-sleep-for-quite-awhile. Not to scare you, but there is also the chance that there will be some problem with your baby or birth such as an emergency caesarian or other problem that you yourself will need to recover from or have help with.
If you have other children, grandma will be needed to help care for them. When you are alone with a baby, just taking a shower and shaving are big deals.
The truth in your answer is that she is a very caring woman and that you like her. She can actually be of help, believe me.
You could also switch your maternity leave - you get four months, but you don't have to start it right away- you can do sick days for the birth, then change your maternity leave to start later.
You will have the rest of your life to be alone with your baby... and she will help you through the worst of it, when the baby is so demanding.
Good luck and I hope you have a positive and healthy experience.
Antonio
the best thing to do is as SOON as she gets there sit down and talk with her. let her know how grateful you are that she is there and that she'll be helping but let her know that you have some anxiety about it too. let her know that you would like atleast one day a week with just you and the baby, that way there will be no hurt feelings later.
good luck!
well you wouldn't be able to know until she gets here, let's hope she is one of those who respects your space and who is not a nosy grandma... She could be very helpful and you'll probably miss her once she's gone, and this is only for 3 months imagine if she would stay with you forever!!!!!
i wouldn't be so worried just wait and if things don't come out good there's always ways to talk things and solve problems...
I really think you are worried over nothing. If you get a little crazy, she will probably understand. She has been pregnant before too ya know.
You are not selfish. You just want alone time with your baby. Try to think of things she could do outside the house while. Maybe there is another woman in your neighborhood that she could become friends with go and spend some time with. Perhaps your husband could take her out for lunch every weekend etc. Anything to for you to have sometime alone, or alone with your baby. I hope everything works out well. Take care.
not to make you feel worse, but oh my God i would die! just die. i like my mil and all but for 2 or 3 months? this is your time with your baby to bond and get adjusted as a family when you get home from the hospital. you may be grateful for the help for the first couple of weeks but after that you will probably become bitter and resentful. i would! bless you!
Yeah, you do sound a little selfish, she is flying around the world to come help you out and it sounds like you are already complaining about her. I'd be a little bit more grateful if I were you.
I think your stressing over nothing. This woman has medical problems and is going on a 27 hour flight. Did you ever think that it might be to much for her and she might need a few days to rest? How about her visiting her son who she has not seen? I do not think she is doing all this just to take over the baby. You say she is a very caring so enjoy the visit and stop looking for problems that are not there. Let her spend as much time with the baby as possible as when she leaves when will be the next time for her to hold the baby after she goes home.
I just was worried that I will get totally tired of her and get all crazy feeling, or will I be so tired, that I will welcome any assitance.
My husband has asked me to try to understand that she is the only one that can come over here, because it is so expensive ($3000 to fly) and I should relax.
How do I not become selfish and learn how to deal with my mother in law living with us for 2 to 3 months.
BTW...she is a very caring woman and I like her...thank God.
I'm just worried, I won't have any alone time with my baby while i have the opportunity to be home with maternity leave.Positive advice...mother in law.?
When I gave birth to my daughter I had the same feelings. The only difference is that I lived with my mother-in-law. A few weeks before she would go around trying to give me advice and not only that she would tell me how her other grandkids loved her so much they would rather be with her than with their mother. I was so upset. That I told her to mind her own business ( I know totally rude) a few days after I gave birth I felt so bad because of this. I realized that although I wanted to be with my daughter even if it was just to look at her little face, so did she. I mean we always think about our children but can you imagine the day your child has a baby. To see them grow and become good people and see how after all the good things and the bad things they are starting a new famiy. Don't worry because I know that you want to spend all the time with your baby and you will. You will spend a lifetime with them you will be the number one for the no matter what. But your mother in law will only have pictures to look at and maybe memories of the times she came to visit and being that she lives so far their won't be many. Give her a chance to enjoy her grandchild because she only wants to feel needed and wanted she only wants to help. My mother-in- law told me this and I started crying because I felt so guilty she loves my daughter and will give her everything. The baby is yours and will all be yours you decide what advice that she gives you you will use. You will be happy learning from someone that has experience and she will be happy knowing that she helped.Positive advice...mother in law.?
I wish I could tell you that you won't get tired of your mother-in-law, but I can't. My sister had her mother-in-law come to help for a month after she had her first child and her mother-in-law is the kindest women I have ever met. Very helpful, nice, loving, all of that. She was ready for her to leave after about two weeks. The main thing to do is to make sure you have a mutual friend to vent to, not your husband. I was my sisters, and it was good for her because she had someone to listen to and assure her that it was normal. You are going to want alone time with your new baby and will want your house back. Just remember that it is your house and if there is something that she is doing then think of a way that is kind and non-judging to tell her. This will prevent feelings from getting hurt and make for a better extended visit. It will be very helpful to have her there, just try to get use to the idea before she comes and think of things to do that could get you alone time (like having her go to the grocery store), but also where you two do things together. Best of luck!
I think her being a mother herself will be there but not be some much there. Do you understand. I'm sure she understands how it feels to have mommy baby time and I'm sure she'll respect that and give you guys your space. Make the best of the visit. From the way it sounds you don't have to see her that often. My mother in law lives 2 houses away.
I understand why you would feel this way. Every new mother has an ideal of what it will be like bringing her new baby home and being a family with mom dad and new baby. I think you two should have time alone before she comes but this seems to already be in the works and she is well on her way.
I'm sure she will have plenty of advice as all MILs do, just take it and say thank you and if you disagree be respectful about it. Just remember she will soon be going home and you will be able to get back to your normal lives.
Having someone else in your home may be imposing and when she seems to overstay her welcome keep in mind her positive attributes.
My dear, I have had a similar problem. Grandmas always want to stay with the new baby... when they live far away, they have to stay awhile. I don't know if this is your first baby or not, but... having a baby is quite a shock. Literally, my son did not stop crying for 3 days. Tiny babies exhaust you in a way you would not believe. I think that you and your mother-in-law will probably be sharing ';shifts'; with the new member.
If you breast feed, get a breast pump- you will want to give some feeding shifts to grandma, as well as bath time, 3:00 am crying time, or just 4am I-am-up-and-I ain't-gonna-sleep-for-quite-awhile. Not to scare you, but there is also the chance that there will be some problem with your baby or birth such as an emergency caesarian or other problem that you yourself will need to recover from or have help with.
If you have other children, grandma will be needed to help care for them. When you are alone with a baby, just taking a shower and shaving are big deals.
The truth in your answer is that she is a very caring woman and that you like her. She can actually be of help, believe me.
You could also switch your maternity leave - you get four months, but you don't have to start it right away- you can do sick days for the birth, then change your maternity leave to start later.
You will have the rest of your life to be alone with your baby... and she will help you through the worst of it, when the baby is so demanding.
Good luck and I hope you have a positive and healthy experience.
Antonio
the best thing to do is as SOON as she gets there sit down and talk with her. let her know how grateful you are that she is there and that she'll be helping but let her know that you have some anxiety about it too. let her know that you would like atleast one day a week with just you and the baby, that way there will be no hurt feelings later.
good luck!
well you wouldn't be able to know until she gets here, let's hope she is one of those who respects your space and who is not a nosy grandma... She could be very helpful and you'll probably miss her once she's gone, and this is only for 3 months imagine if she would stay with you forever!!!!!
i wouldn't be so worried just wait and if things don't come out good there's always ways to talk things and solve problems...
I really think you are worried over nothing. If you get a little crazy, she will probably understand. She has been pregnant before too ya know.
You are not selfish. You just want alone time with your baby. Try to think of things she could do outside the house while. Maybe there is another woman in your neighborhood that she could become friends with go and spend some time with. Perhaps your husband could take her out for lunch every weekend etc. Anything to for you to have sometime alone, or alone with your baby. I hope everything works out well. Take care.
not to make you feel worse, but oh my God i would die! just die. i like my mil and all but for 2 or 3 months? this is your time with your baby to bond and get adjusted as a family when you get home from the hospital. you may be grateful for the help for the first couple of weeks but after that you will probably become bitter and resentful. i would! bless you!
Yeah, you do sound a little selfish, she is flying around the world to come help you out and it sounds like you are already complaining about her. I'd be a little bit more grateful if I were you.
I think your stressing over nothing. This woman has medical problems and is going on a 27 hour flight. Did you ever think that it might be to much for her and she might need a few days to rest? How about her visiting her son who she has not seen? I do not think she is doing all this just to take over the baby. You say she is a very caring so enjoy the visit and stop looking for problems that are not there. Let her spend as much time with the baby as possible as when she leaves when will be the next time for her to hold the baby after she goes home.
Im 18 and i have a older boyfriend and an unhappy mother? need Advice!!!?
I turned 18 yesterday and tonight i intend to spend tonight and possibly tomorrow. my mother is psychotic, and is there anything she can do about it now? should i even be worrying? how do i tell her that i am? and not telling her is not an option, i just need a bit o advice please!!!Im 18 and i have a older boyfriend and an unhappy mother? need Advice!!!?
Sounds like you are a very mature 18 year old, that's in your favor. Unfortunately, we cant change our past but sometimes our past experiences builds our character for good or bad. I think you are very lucky to have someone you trust and understands the real you. you'll be o.k. because you have something to offer. Good Luck !Im 18 and i have a older boyfriend and an unhappy mother? need Advice!!!?
I'm 23 and have had my parents dislike my boyfriend before, and THEY WERE RIGHT. Remember that you will always have your mom be your mom, but he may not always be your boyfriend. Just because you've had a birthday doesn't mean you're ready for sex. I'm 23 and I know I'm not ready for sex. Your mother is not psychotic, she's just nervous for you and your safety about this guy, because for some reason she doesn't trust him, and her being your mom, you should trust that. She gave you life, and raised you, and gave you everything you could ever want. The least you can do is respect her and trust her gut about this guy, and not spend the night with him. She can and may decide not to support you anymore--no more house, car, food, etc.--you do it all on your own. Is this guy worth risking life as you know it?
Just make sure you're dating this guy for the right reasons. Make sure you really like him and want to be intimate with him, not just to drive your mom crazy. If this is really what you want there is nothing your mom can do. Did you talk to your mom? Mom's have more experience with men than younger people, and are good at spotting the ';bad'; ones. Find out what are her reasons for not liking him. If it is just his age, then how much older is he? When it comes down to it, only you can make the decision, after all you are the one dating him not your mother. (But from personal experience, moms usually know best. I learned that the hard way.) Good luck with your decision, and remember if you're not sure the best thing you can do is wait until you are.
Don't get hurt.
If you were more mature, you'd understand she is only looking out for your welfare. How much older is this guy? Honestly, she can't have you or him thrown in jail, but I hope you have someplace else you live, as she is also no longer required to provide fro you any longer, and I would guess the more disrespectful you become of her feelings, the more attractive that option will become to her.
Take care of your self. It is important. You are very young, must concentrate on studiess now
Is it because that you have an older boyfriend that your mother is unhappy? or is it because you feel that your mother is psychotic that you are now having a boyfriend older than you? You need to prioritize first. Boyfriends could come and go. But your mother can not be replaced. If you can please them both, well and good! Be careful, don't do something that you'll soon regret. Don't just listen what you feel. Think wisely before you act. Take time to harmonize the reasoning of your brain and what your heart dictates.
Well, now that you are 18, pack up and move. If you're old enough not to follow house rules, you are old enough to support yourself. Responsibility comes in many forms and you need to understand that.
Your mother isn't psychotic. She's just not as dumb as you are and she's perfectly aware that an older boyfriend is more likely a user than your guy for life. There are many other ways to celebrate your birthday that do not involve sex. Celebrate with your Mom. You only become 18 once and your Mom would likely like to celebrate that major event with you. In 5 years, your boyfriend will be history, while your Mom will still be there.
Note: I thought I should add that all 18 year olds are dumb not because they are stupid, but because they have not experienced as much life as a 35 year old. Lots of things and pitfalls to learn about at your age.
it is simple, listen to your mother
use condoms
As of whenever you turned 18 there is nothing that your mother can do about you being any where!!!! The only thing that she can do is get mad at you!!! Dont worry about it just forget about it
Hie bikka. Actuallly when you are 18 it might be your time to make decision in your life but you have to remember that she would be the first person that anything happens to you and something might go wrong. maybe you could have a light sex work out by using a condom or you could you do something slow such as playing with the body only.she have the rights to stop you or stop him to see you because she has been taking care you from small and till now maybe this could help you out..... all the best
Sounds like you are a very mature 18 year old, that's in your favor. Unfortunately, we cant change our past but sometimes our past experiences builds our character for good or bad. I think you are very lucky to have someone you trust and understands the real you. you'll be o.k. because you have something to offer. Good Luck !Im 18 and i have a older boyfriend and an unhappy mother? need Advice!!!?
I'm 23 and have had my parents dislike my boyfriend before, and THEY WERE RIGHT. Remember that you will always have your mom be your mom, but he may not always be your boyfriend. Just because you've had a birthday doesn't mean you're ready for sex. I'm 23 and I know I'm not ready for sex. Your mother is not psychotic, she's just nervous for you and your safety about this guy, because for some reason she doesn't trust him, and her being your mom, you should trust that. She gave you life, and raised you, and gave you everything you could ever want. The least you can do is respect her and trust her gut about this guy, and not spend the night with him. She can and may decide not to support you anymore--no more house, car, food, etc.--you do it all on your own. Is this guy worth risking life as you know it?
Just make sure you're dating this guy for the right reasons. Make sure you really like him and want to be intimate with him, not just to drive your mom crazy. If this is really what you want there is nothing your mom can do. Did you talk to your mom? Mom's have more experience with men than younger people, and are good at spotting the ';bad'; ones. Find out what are her reasons for not liking him. If it is just his age, then how much older is he? When it comes down to it, only you can make the decision, after all you are the one dating him not your mother. (But from personal experience, moms usually know best. I learned that the hard way.) Good luck with your decision, and remember if you're not sure the best thing you can do is wait until you are.
Don't get hurt.
If you were more mature, you'd understand she is only looking out for your welfare. How much older is this guy? Honestly, she can't have you or him thrown in jail, but I hope you have someplace else you live, as she is also no longer required to provide fro you any longer, and I would guess the more disrespectful you become of her feelings, the more attractive that option will become to her.
Take care of your self. It is important. You are very young, must concentrate on studiess now
Is it because that you have an older boyfriend that your mother is unhappy? or is it because you feel that your mother is psychotic that you are now having a boyfriend older than you? You need to prioritize first. Boyfriends could come and go. But your mother can not be replaced. If you can please them both, well and good! Be careful, don't do something that you'll soon regret. Don't just listen what you feel. Think wisely before you act. Take time to harmonize the reasoning of your brain and what your heart dictates.
Well, now that you are 18, pack up and move. If you're old enough not to follow house rules, you are old enough to support yourself. Responsibility comes in many forms and you need to understand that.
Your mother isn't psychotic. She's just not as dumb as you are and she's perfectly aware that an older boyfriend is more likely a user than your guy for life. There are many other ways to celebrate your birthday that do not involve sex. Celebrate with your Mom. You only become 18 once and your Mom would likely like to celebrate that major event with you. In 5 years, your boyfriend will be history, while your Mom will still be there.
Note: I thought I should add that all 18 year olds are dumb not because they are stupid, but because they have not experienced as much life as a 35 year old. Lots of things and pitfalls to learn about at your age.
it is simple, listen to your mother
use condoms
As of whenever you turned 18 there is nothing that your mother can do about you being any where!!!! The only thing that she can do is get mad at you!!! Dont worry about it just forget about it
Hie bikka. Actuallly when you are 18 it might be your time to make decision in your life but you have to remember that she would be the first person that anything happens to you and something might go wrong. maybe you could have a light sex work out by using a condom or you could you do something slow such as playing with the body only.she have the rights to stop you or stop him to see you because she has been taking care you from small and till now maybe this could help you out..... all the best
A mother needing some advice?
Do other mothers out there feel that it is hard to sympathize with their son after he has taken a shot to the ';family jewels';? especially if he his around 15-18 range. and their is no father in the picture. what is a mother supposed to say or do, I just find it a little awkward I guess. any mothers have experience in this area? if so what happened?A mother needing some advice?
Imagine being bashed in the breast with a crow bar, and then perhaps you can empathize with your son! If after that mental picture you cant, then its time to call CPS on yourself!A mother needing some advice?
i agree with NICE GUY.....what difference does it make if he has a dad around or not.....for whatever the reason you are his sole parent and that means taking on both roles DUHHHH!!! and they are not called 'family jewels'.....as a mother of three boys you comfort him make sure that there is no permanent damage and yes that means looking at them or taking him to the doctor if they seem swollen now what is so hard about that.......and if you find that to hard to do then give him up for adoption so that someone WHO DOESN'T FEAR PARENTHOOD can raise him without being so WOOSSSY
You act like you would with any other injury, sympathize and, if it seems bad enough, offer meds/ice pack/etc. Groin injury can actually lead to permanent damage up to and including sterility, so if it seems extra bad, you might consider going to the ER/clinic etc.
You're his mother, you gave birth to him (presumably), you love him. You taking care of him and wanting him to be healthy and happy is not awkward, and if it is, you need to revise your filters. Life's awkward, so are teens - get over it and go be a great mom!
I think that i don't get this question. Are you saying because your son has no father, getting kicked in the nards is no big deal? I am having so much trouble getting this. That's kind of like saying putting ketchup on your fries is bad because the carpet needs to be vacuumed. Where is the connection?? WTF does having a father have to do with the pain of getting kicked in the balls? It hurts...imagine dropping an clothing iron on your toe...that's what it feels like, ok? repeat after me ';honey, that must be terrible- are you ok?'; Unless you don't mean sympathize, and mean relate. You don't have to relate to feel bad for someone...
Yes, when my son has anything that's a male thing like that, we talk about openly like anything else, I ask him what happened, like a peer, not a parent. It diffuses the awkwardness if I just talk to him like a friend instead of a ';mother'; with a capital M. For instance ';Oh man, what happened? Are you alright?'; and then just let him talk, like I would anyone else, instead of trying to fix it or heal him or baby him. But having an open line of communication with my son about his thoughts and feelings has been really great, he tells me everything and I just talk to him like we are peers. I will add that this does not take the place of parenting, it's just an additional part.
tell him to check them out
it may be nothing the pain has passed and no real harm done
if a bit swollen some anti inflamortys pain relief
if there is hours passing or still in big pain or if black %26amp; blue or bleeding take to doctor
no point on political correctness here he may need medical assistance if in extreme,prolonged pain there is risks to the usage when damaged
I would certanly sympathise to any of my sons to whom this happened. I understand it is very painful. It would however depend on the circumstances. If for instance they had got kicked because they had got into a fight that they started, I would tend to be less sympathetic.
Imagine being bashed in the breast with a crow bar, and then perhaps you can empathize with your son! If after that mental picture you cant, then its time to call CPS on yourself!A mother needing some advice?
i agree with NICE GUY.....what difference does it make if he has a dad around or not.....for whatever the reason you are his sole parent and that means taking on both roles DUHHHH!!! and they are not called 'family jewels'.....as a mother of three boys you comfort him make sure that there is no permanent damage and yes that means looking at them or taking him to the doctor if they seem swollen now what is so hard about that.......and if you find that to hard to do then give him up for adoption so that someone WHO DOESN'T FEAR PARENTHOOD can raise him without being so WOOSSSY
You act like you would with any other injury, sympathize and, if it seems bad enough, offer meds/ice pack/etc. Groin injury can actually lead to permanent damage up to and including sterility, so if it seems extra bad, you might consider going to the ER/clinic etc.
You're his mother, you gave birth to him (presumably), you love him. You taking care of him and wanting him to be healthy and happy is not awkward, and if it is, you need to revise your filters. Life's awkward, so are teens - get over it and go be a great mom!
I think that i don't get this question. Are you saying because your son has no father, getting kicked in the nards is no big deal? I am having so much trouble getting this. That's kind of like saying putting ketchup on your fries is bad because the carpet needs to be vacuumed. Where is the connection?? WTF does having a father have to do with the pain of getting kicked in the balls? It hurts...imagine dropping an clothing iron on your toe...that's what it feels like, ok? repeat after me ';honey, that must be terrible- are you ok?'; Unless you don't mean sympathize, and mean relate. You don't have to relate to feel bad for someone...
Yes, when my son has anything that's a male thing like that, we talk about openly like anything else, I ask him what happened, like a peer, not a parent. It diffuses the awkwardness if I just talk to him like a friend instead of a ';mother'; with a capital M. For instance ';Oh man, what happened? Are you alright?'; and then just let him talk, like I would anyone else, instead of trying to fix it or heal him or baby him. But having an open line of communication with my son about his thoughts and feelings has been really great, he tells me everything and I just talk to him like we are peers. I will add that this does not take the place of parenting, it's just an additional part.
tell him to check them out
it may be nothing the pain has passed and no real harm done
if a bit swollen some anti inflamortys pain relief
if there is hours passing or still in big pain or if black %26amp; blue or bleeding take to doctor
no point on political correctness here he may need medical assistance if in extreme,prolonged pain there is risks to the usage when damaged
I would certanly sympathise to any of my sons to whom this happened. I understand it is very painful. It would however depend on the circumstances. If for instance they had got kicked because they had got into a fight that they started, I would tend to be less sympathetic.
What advice did you get from your father or mother that you would like to pass on to your kids?
I find that parents give a lot of advice and mine did as well. The ones you would like to pass on to your kids are the ones that have had the most impact.What advice did you get from your father or mother that you would like to pass on to your kids?
never hurt anyone , be yourself and give to charitable causes make sure you save alittle out of each pay checkWhat advice did you get from your father or mother that you would like to pass on to your kids?
To thine own self be true, and NEVER intentionally harm anyone.
never hurt anyone , be yourself and give to charitable causes make sure you save alittle out of each pay checkWhat advice did you get from your father or mother that you would like to pass on to your kids?
To thine own self be true, and NEVER intentionally harm anyone.
Advice on dating a single mother?
OK is there anything I shouldn't do or say that might offend her? She has a five year old boy and the dad left when he was two. If you're a 20-25 year old mother (single or married or whatever) can you give me some advice?Advice on dating a single mother?
Are you ready to accept her and her kid ? If so, then there isnt really much to say except ask her out and let thing flow...why would you offend her if she knows you like her ?? Dont talk about what happened in her past..just talk about you and her...Advice on dating a single mother?
make sure that the kid comes first, then the mother and if you are lucky you.
be smart and really nice
Are you ready to accept her and her kid ? If so, then there isnt really much to say except ask her out and let thing flow...why would you offend her if she knows you like her ?? Dont talk about what happened in her past..just talk about you and her...Advice on dating a single mother?
make sure that the kid comes first, then the mother and if you are lucky you.
be smart and really nice
Should I listen to my mother's advice in this particular case?
My momma told me to ';Never put your faith in people because they will always let you down - you have to do everything for yourself.';Should I listen to my mother's advice in this particular case?
She's right to an extent. It's fine to put trust into some people, and it's more beneficial to trust yourself instead of some other people. You have to be a good judge of character to know when, but even then you can be wrong. A good balance is to be capable of doing things yourself, allow people the chance to do things for you but don't be dependent on them, and don't be too proud to accept help or ask for it when you need it.Should I listen to my mother's advice in this particular case?
I think she is wright here, is better to do it yourself then waiting from others. Also, for the long run it will be much better and easier if you do everything yourself, because one day if you need something so badly and there is no one to help you, you will not know how to success because u are used to it others to do it for you. so even though you will fall still try and go for it and do it yourself, and you will be happier because u did it yourself.
i would tend to give people the benefit of doubt before i decide whether they are not very nice. In other words, i trust people until they do something wrong by me. Besides which, you can usually tell if they are going to be good friends
My parents taught me to read people. Some are trustworthy, other are not. It is very hard to read people but the older you get, the better you become at it.whiteheads
She's right to an extent. It's fine to put trust into some people, and it's more beneficial to trust yourself instead of some other people. You have to be a good judge of character to know when, but even then you can be wrong. A good balance is to be capable of doing things yourself, allow people the chance to do things for you but don't be dependent on them, and don't be too proud to accept help or ask for it when you need it.Should I listen to my mother's advice in this particular case?
I think she is wright here, is better to do it yourself then waiting from others. Also, for the long run it will be much better and easier if you do everything yourself, because one day if you need something so badly and there is no one to help you, you will not know how to success because u are used to it others to do it for you. so even though you will fall still try and go for it and do it yourself, and you will be happier because u did it yourself.
i would tend to give people the benefit of doubt before i decide whether they are not very nice. In other words, i trust people until they do something wrong by me. Besides which, you can usually tell if they are going to be good friends
My parents taught me to read people. Some are trustworthy, other are not. It is very hard to read people but the older you get, the better you become at it.
I need some advice about how to talk to my 12yr old without sounding like my mother?
I have one daughter and I love her very much. But I find myself being short tempered with her. She tries so hard to please me and I have no patience to listen to her. My mother was the same way. She didn't talk to me, she yelled alot though. Don't get me wrong I love my mother, but I just remember her always yelling at me. I want to be able to sit and just talk with my daughter. When she is older I want her to say '; mom, remember that day we...'; That is my wish. So if anybody can help, I would appreciate it. Thank you.I need some advice about how to talk to my 12yr old without sounding like my mother?
I agree with the others that say that you are lucky she still wants to please you...it won't be long before she will be pulling away, forming her own identity.
Use this time..ENJOY this time...and look closely at your life. Figure out what it is that you are REALLY angry about. It doesn't sound like it's really her, she's just handy to take it out on. I'm not trying to be mean, just pointing out what seems to me to be the problem.
If you figure out what you're really angry about, then talk to a minister about it. Get close to God, pray every day for guidance, patience, and good parenting skills. He listens, you know.
Good luck, sugar...and enjoy...my kids are nearly 18, and just turned 16, and it goes SOOO fast!I need some advice about how to talk to my 12yr old without sounding like my mother?
I would really advice counseling. This is a delicate situation, and counseling would be a good option, and since she is so young, and still tries tro please you, that means its not too late. Seek help before it is too late, and she wants nothing to do with you.
just let that little girl show love first...it is not you dam fault
My be you should go see someone like a counselor if she is trying then maybe there is something else wrong like bipolar.
Have a nice day
This is hard to do, especially if you are just starting it. Try to be open minded, listen to her and don't be judgemental. If you find yourself getting heated in the middle of a conversation, take a few deep breaths, recollect, and restart.
i find i do this with my 10 year old daughter and feel as guilty as hell about it so i stop myself even if it's only to explain to her that us mum's are human also and make mistakes when she does something good praise her tell her how great she is and how happy she makes you do stuff together as girls it will help ye bond and have a good friendship as well as just being her mum but one thing always listen to what she has to say
Avoid talking to her when you are angry, wait until you calm down. Think of what you want to say ahead of time, if you find yourself getting angry try a deep breath or two.
Different surroundings might help as well, take her to the park to talk, or go shopping together and chat over lunch.
Try surprising her by talking about something she likes then try to talk about what you need to talk to her about. That's what I did with my 8 year old %26amp; surprisingly it worked
DON'T GO TO COUNSELING!!!!!They TELL you they know how to handle situations like this...but what if they don't?How do you know if counselors REALLY know what they're doing?Anyway...take a deep breath if your angry and talk after you've calmed down.Then GENTLY (but not to gently) sit down next to her/him and talk...if you feel like you're going to burst with anger...count to ten and continue talking.If you're not angry and you just want to talk...AND if she Wants to talk...just let it flow...if she DOESN'T want to talk...DON'T FORCE HER!!!!!!!!You should not do that,because if you do...she might use this method on HER children and your grandchildren might use it on their children and so on and so on.
you should thank your lucky stars she want to please you isnt in better then trying to hurt you! but i do understand i know sometimes you just need time to yourself so just talk to her about that everytime and soon she'll get it but make sure you give her mommy and me time too.
You have to sound like a mom. You remember your mom yelling so I now you remember what she said and that's the whole point of talking to you daughter. Believe me no matter what you tell her you will sound like a nosy over protective mom but in the long run it will help your daughter more that hurt her. *Hint* Just make sure the yelling doesn't become excessive or irrational.
The short answer is: Use a deep voice. That way you'll sound like your father.
:)
Actually, you are going to sound that way anyway. One trick, however, is to ';catch'; her doing something good. Instead of always being corrective, give her a quick ';good job'; when she does something good--even something small like put her dishes in the sink.
You need to maintain the dialog. It's not easy.
Since she's still only 12, counseling will probably work. When they get to be 15-16, I don't know if anything works. Good luck.
Have you tried having a special time each day to let her talk to you about whatever she wants? One of my kids is a night owl like me. He always starts conversations at bedtime. It used to bother me because i was tired and wanted to watch TV. But then I got TiVO and let him talk. It has been great. Also my husband used to have a date night each month with each of our daughters. They did this forever and now that the girls are grown and gone, they do it when ever we get together. Now it is a walk after dinner or coffee at Starbucks. But they still love the undivided attention.
Keep trying till you find the way that works for you both. Then don't break the date if you can help it. You will reap the rewards later and maybe she won't think of you what you think of your Mom. Also, don't be afraid to apologize to her when you realize you just sounded like your Mom.
Good Luck.
u should sit down with ur daughter and say that i want to talk to and sit down and make time for both of u so that u can have happy memories and every thing else so u don't have to be like ur mom never have time for each and if she is young spend a lot of time with her.
I agree with the others that say that you are lucky she still wants to please you...it won't be long before she will be pulling away, forming her own identity.
Use this time..ENJOY this time...and look closely at your life. Figure out what it is that you are REALLY angry about. It doesn't sound like it's really her, she's just handy to take it out on. I'm not trying to be mean, just pointing out what seems to me to be the problem.
If you figure out what you're really angry about, then talk to a minister about it. Get close to God, pray every day for guidance, patience, and good parenting skills. He listens, you know.
Good luck, sugar...and enjoy...my kids are nearly 18, and just turned 16, and it goes SOOO fast!I need some advice about how to talk to my 12yr old without sounding like my mother?
I would really advice counseling. This is a delicate situation, and counseling would be a good option, and since she is so young, and still tries tro please you, that means its not too late. Seek help before it is too late, and she wants nothing to do with you.
just let that little girl show love first...it is not you dam fault
My be you should go see someone like a counselor if she is trying then maybe there is something else wrong like bipolar.
Have a nice day
This is hard to do, especially if you are just starting it. Try to be open minded, listen to her and don't be judgemental. If you find yourself getting heated in the middle of a conversation, take a few deep breaths, recollect, and restart.
i find i do this with my 10 year old daughter and feel as guilty as hell about it so i stop myself even if it's only to explain to her that us mum's are human also and make mistakes when she does something good praise her tell her how great she is and how happy she makes you do stuff together as girls it will help ye bond and have a good friendship as well as just being her mum but one thing always listen to what she has to say
Avoid talking to her when you are angry, wait until you calm down. Think of what you want to say ahead of time, if you find yourself getting angry try a deep breath or two.
Different surroundings might help as well, take her to the park to talk, or go shopping together and chat over lunch.
Try surprising her by talking about something she likes then try to talk about what you need to talk to her about. That's what I did with my 8 year old %26amp; surprisingly it worked
DON'T GO TO COUNSELING!!!!!They TELL you they know how to handle situations like this...but what if they don't?How do you know if counselors REALLY know what they're doing?Anyway...take a deep breath if your angry and talk after you've calmed down.Then GENTLY (but not to gently) sit down next to her/him and talk...if you feel like you're going to burst with anger...count to ten and continue talking.If you're not angry and you just want to talk...AND if she Wants to talk...just let it flow...if she DOESN'T want to talk...DON'T FORCE HER!!!!!!!!You should not do that,because if you do...she might use this method on HER children and your grandchildren might use it on their children and so on and so on.
you should thank your lucky stars she want to please you isnt in better then trying to hurt you! but i do understand i know sometimes you just need time to yourself so just talk to her about that everytime and soon she'll get it but make sure you give her mommy and me time too.
You have to sound like a mom. You remember your mom yelling so I now you remember what she said and that's the whole point of talking to you daughter. Believe me no matter what you tell her you will sound like a nosy over protective mom but in the long run it will help your daughter more that hurt her. *Hint* Just make sure the yelling doesn't become excessive or irrational.
The short answer is: Use a deep voice. That way you'll sound like your father.
:)
Actually, you are going to sound that way anyway. One trick, however, is to ';catch'; her doing something good. Instead of always being corrective, give her a quick ';good job'; when she does something good--even something small like put her dishes in the sink.
You need to maintain the dialog. It's not easy.
Since she's still only 12, counseling will probably work. When they get to be 15-16, I don't know if anything works. Good luck.
Have you tried having a special time each day to let her talk to you about whatever she wants? One of my kids is a night owl like me. He always starts conversations at bedtime. It used to bother me because i was tired and wanted to watch TV. But then I got TiVO and let him talk. It has been great. Also my husband used to have a date night each month with each of our daughters. They did this forever and now that the girls are grown and gone, they do it when ever we get together. Now it is a walk after dinner or coffee at Starbucks. But they still love the undivided attention.
Keep trying till you find the way that works for you both. Then don't break the date if you can help it. You will reap the rewards later and maybe she won't think of you what you think of your Mom. Also, don't be afraid to apologize to her when you realize you just sounded like your Mom.
Good Luck.
u should sit down with ur daughter and say that i want to talk to and sit down and make time for both of u so that u can have happy memories and every thing else so u don't have to be like ur mom never have time for each and if she is young spend a lot of time with her.
Hey friends I recently got married and my mother in law has a vow to shave my head at tirupathi.Pls advice?
hi friends I recently got married and my mother in law has a vow to shave my head at tirupati pls advice me and if any one had already the same experience please share your feelings and experiences so that i could get rid of fear. I am feeling shy to shave my head since it being my first time and recently got married and feeling nervous butcould not get rid of it.pls advice and shareHey friends I recently got married and my mother in law has a vow to shave my head at tirupathi.Pls advice?
WHAT?
What is tirupati?
WHAT?
What is tirupati?
What is the best advice you ever got from your mother, grandmother, aunt, or a female friend?
Hello, I am interested in knowing the best advice any femal you know ever gave you? I want to know because it seems as if all of the things she tried to tell me have come true in one way or another. I really want to know because maybe I could learn from the women in your life. If its about money, men, love, sex, children, religion, ANYTHING you can think of! I would like to pass some good advice down to my daughter-- she is going through puberty--HELP!What is the best advice you ever got from your mother, grandmother, aunt, or a female friend?
My mom always told me ';never hit anyone unless they hit you first';, subsequently, I have never been in a fight.What is the best advice you ever got from your mother, grandmother, aunt, or a female friend?
My sister--';Just say no to guys';
She's been telling me this since I was...born.
Then when I got my period she reinforced it.
';Just say no to guys. You get pregnant and have a kid and all it is is a big fat money sucker.';
If it was ment to be he'll come back.
My grandmother said: Dont follow your dreams chase them
she also said....
This is just a phase in your life, one day this phase will be over and then you will move on to another phase, might be a good phase or a bad phase, but remember its just a phase and one day it will be over too. Life is what you make it, so make it a good one.
My mom says: no matter where you are or what your doing as long as you are doing the right things and following jesus christ i support you 100%
My best friend says: Laugh more, gripe less, ignore critics, say yes, order desert, love life!
because oprah said so
My grandmother once told me that the two most relaxing times of the day should be when I eat and when I drive. It really taught me to slow down at the table and behind the wheel!
';Don't do anything you can't come home and tell me about.'; That guided me through a lot of years! I told my sons that, and now they tell me Everything! LOL
My mom told me countless things when I was a child that have eventually come to mean a lot to me in my adult life...probably the most important was to always be true to myself, no matter what, because I'm really all I have in the long run.
My great aunt Ruth: ';Never play cards with a man named Doc.';
Grandmother: If they lie, they'll cheat and steal. This is so true! Mom: someone who constantly talks/ has a story is hiding something/tells lies. Childhood Girlfriend: Sex isn't all its cracked up to be lol!
DON'T GET TO STICKIN' TILL U WORKIN LOL
ALWAYS be independent never depend on ANY man for anythingcause you never know when you might be kicked out on your butt.
My mom always told me ';never hit anyone unless they hit you first';, subsequently, I have never been in a fight.What is the best advice you ever got from your mother, grandmother, aunt, or a female friend?
My sister--';Just say no to guys';
She's been telling me this since I was...born.
Then when I got my period she reinforced it.
';Just say no to guys. You get pregnant and have a kid and all it is is a big fat money sucker.';
If it was ment to be he'll come back.
My grandmother said: Dont follow your dreams chase them
she also said....
This is just a phase in your life, one day this phase will be over and then you will move on to another phase, might be a good phase or a bad phase, but remember its just a phase and one day it will be over too. Life is what you make it, so make it a good one.
My mom says: no matter where you are or what your doing as long as you are doing the right things and following jesus christ i support you 100%
My best friend says: Laugh more, gripe less, ignore critics, say yes, order desert, love life!
because oprah said so
My grandmother once told me that the two most relaxing times of the day should be when I eat and when I drive. It really taught me to slow down at the table and behind the wheel!
';Don't do anything you can't come home and tell me about.'; That guided me through a lot of years! I told my sons that, and now they tell me Everything! LOL
My mom told me countless things when I was a child that have eventually come to mean a lot to me in my adult life...probably the most important was to always be true to myself, no matter what, because I'm really all I have in the long run.
My great aunt Ruth: ';Never play cards with a man named Doc.';
Grandmother: If they lie, they'll cheat and steal. This is so true! Mom: someone who constantly talks/ has a story is hiding something/tells lies. Childhood Girlfriend: Sex isn't all its cracked up to be lol!
DON'T GET TO STICKIN' TILL U WORKIN LOL
ALWAYS be independent never depend on ANY man for anythingcause you never know when you might be kicked out on your butt.
My Gf's Father, abuses her and her mother.? advice?
well, they don't want the police to get involved, and take him away because the ';need him'; and ';love him'; and he's only looses control of his anger ';sometimes';... im 17. and my Gf is my neighbor. i can see her in her bedroom from my bedroom window, and she can see me. Sometimes i see her on her bed crying, and there's nothing i want more is to go over there and hold her, but, the dad kicks me out of their house at 8 every night. I've sneaked in from the window couple times, but her dad always finds out, and well... He's not a big fan of me. Cause I'm always sticking up for my gf and his wife. Me and my gf talk at aim a lot at night. Please if you could help me with thesse 2 things:
- what should i do in this situation?
and
-What is something i can put on my aim Personal message to reassure my gf, that I love her, and i'm here for her. besides just saying ';I love you, and I'm always here for you';?
Thanks for the help..My Gf's Father, abuses her and her mother.? advice?
you're always goingto feel like you need to do more, but the reality of it is that you really shouldn't
they have their problems, and those problems need to stay private. i think it's great that you're there for your girlfriend, and in this kind of situation, i think that's where you should stay.
as for telling her something reassuring, don't worry, you're doing enough by comforting her, and actually showing a general interest.My Gf's Father, abuses her and her mother.? advice?
Well what you should do is buy a electric shocking device. If you see her dad abusing her again then get the electric shocking device and shock the hell out of him so that way he can stop abusing her
teach the ****** a lesson
don't listen to that dweeb. I think you are awesome for really being there for her!
I recommend safe place.They provide a safe place to stay and find a way to make a living with out the one they are depending on.
- what should i do in this situation?
and
-What is something i can put on my aim Personal message to reassure my gf, that I love her, and i'm here for her. besides just saying ';I love you, and I'm always here for you';?
Thanks for the help..My Gf's Father, abuses her and her mother.? advice?
you're always goingto feel like you need to do more, but the reality of it is that you really shouldn't
they have their problems, and those problems need to stay private. i think it's great that you're there for your girlfriend, and in this kind of situation, i think that's where you should stay.
as for telling her something reassuring, don't worry, you're doing enough by comforting her, and actually showing a general interest.My Gf's Father, abuses her and her mother.? advice?
Well what you should do is buy a electric shocking device. If you see her dad abusing her again then get the electric shocking device and shock the hell out of him so that way he can stop abusing her
teach the ****** a lesson
don't listen to that dweeb. I think you are awesome for really being there for her!
I recommend safe place.They provide a safe place to stay and find a way to make a living with out the one they are depending on.
I'm gonna be a 15 year old mother. Advice?
Well my boyfriend and I had unprotected sex. We know now that we're going to have a baby. We both know we have to get jobs and support the baby. And we both know where the baby will live and we are prepared to do whatever it takes to keep this baby healthy and loved. I need advice from people who have had children whether your a teen mother/father or if you had a baby when you were an adult.
Here are some general questions you can go around:
What can I do during my pregnancy to keep my baby healthy?
What kind of stuff do new born babies eat besides breast milk?
What should I do during my pregnancy to make sure I stay healthy too?
How do we decide on a name?
What kind of things do me and my boyfriend need to discuss about the baby and the pregnancy?
If you have any advice and any other pieces of useful information, I accept all helpful, insightful answers. Please do not be rude. I know what I did was a wrong thing. We should have been protected. We know we've done something wrong and we are fully prepared to face the consequences.
Thank You,
AL and TJI'm gonna be a 15 year old mother. Advice?
1. Take your vitamins. No drugs, drinking, smoking, or unprotected sex (with anyone other than your partner..) Don't run any marathons - over-doing exercise during prego can lead to problems. Try not to gain too much weight.
2. Formula. No solids 'till at least 3 months, normally. Cereals at first - rice, then oat, etc. Then fruits. Then veggies. Then juices, later..
3. Same as number one.
4. Invest in baby name books. I chose a mix of Biblical and Gaelic..
5. What SHOULDN'T you discuss? EVERYTHING! From the birth, hospital stay, care giving during it's infancy, child rearing, careers, etc.. The list goes on...
You both should be applauded for willingly going through this most scary and important event in your lives. You're both very brave, and seem like you're ready to try and become responsible, loving parents. Don't feel ashamed of what you've done.. what's happened... embrace it. You're about to experience the miracle of birth, and of the most strongest love and bond in the world - that of maternity. Don't forget that. It doesn't matter what your ages, as long as you can embrace it.
This will be one of the hardest times in your lives - prepare yourselves, emotionally, physically, mentally. If you get through this you've accomplished a lot...
Don't be afraid to seek help when you need it. When that baby comes, it's gonna be non-stop drudgery for the first few months, at least. Accept all offers, and seek help when you must. Don't underestimate what even a few hours ';away'; can do for yourself - take it..
Be ready - as ready as one can be - for the unexpected. My first pregnancy ended in an emergency c-section, and i was devastated. I had never been in a hospital before, let alone put under the knife. The experience left me in a state of shock during a time when i should've been able to concentrate entirely on my new baby.. try to consider the worst case scenarios, and then thank God (if that's what you do) when they don't happen... I wish i could've been better prepared, mentally, for that one, but i thought at the time that everything would be perfect...
Having a baby is an entire LIFESTYLE SHIFT. Don't expect anything to ever be the same. Your life will change on most, if not all, levels. Depending on your acceptance of this change will determine how stressful it is for you. If you find it's like ';culture shock';, it's gonna be a million times harder. If you can actually embrace these changes, then maybe you might stand a chance of not losing your marbles, like i feel i did... You'll see what i mean, after you bring that baby home..! The good news is, you do eventually work through it, work your way into a system, and after a while some semblance of control and routine will be gained...
Expect to see the worst of your spouse/boyfriend. The beginning months/years of child rearing are so very trying and stressful, they really are. They wreak havoc on a relationship, and the worst of both people can be brought out. You'll need lots of help and support from him, more than you might realize, and if he falls short of fulfilling that, you're going to be left with major resentment towards him..
If you haven't yet purchased these books, hurry up and do so. They're really good reading, and are a ';must';...
http://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-When-Y鈥?/a>
http://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-First-鈥?/a>
Above all, learn all you can. Have a baby shower - you'll need it, trust me. Seek support. Expect the unexpected. Try to embrace this strange new experience. Enjoy your baby while you can - it's easy to get lost in the day to day care and forget that you're allowed to ';enjoy'; them.. Take pictures. Plan ahead. Don't beat yourself up over everything (this is a big one..) - you're first time parents, and you WILL NOT know instinctively what to do! You will have to LEARN what to do, mistakes, triumphs, and all...! Don't worry about your mistakes.. a million mothers came before you who did all kinds of things to their babies and they all survived.. Yours will too. Love that little bundle of joy with all your heart, and guard it with every fiber of your being... there are too many bad people and things that can happen in this world. Keep your children close, don't let them out of your sight. Take with a grain of salt all that your forbearers will tell you to do - their's is from the old-school ways, and times have changed. Don't allow them to push you into their old ways if you don't feel comfortable with it. Get the best pediatrician you can find and ask lots of questions.
Again, don't apologize to the world for what you've done - you don't owe the world an apology - you owe your child a good life. Redirect your priorities to your baby. Who cares about the world...? You're already half way there. You're doing good. Don't stop now. Just keep on doing what you're doing.. You're about to be wonderful parents...
Good luck to you both!I'm gonna be a 15 year old mother. Advice?
Get medicaid (insurance through the government) and seek prenatal care. You will get akll the info and books you need. Hurry up and get it to ensure a healthy pregnancy. Contact your local department of social services to get the ball rolling. You are an emancipted minor because of the pregnancy, so you dont need your parents permission for anything.
well first of all i don't support this, but i will say i hope that you going thru this experience will be good. maybe you can reach out to other young children (cuz you are still children). and maybe they won't want to go thru the same thing.
anyways. you can't survive financially on a mcdonalds paycheck or any paycheck that starts you around minimum wage. go to the store. look at diapers. the cost. and ask people how many you will go thru. its gna blow your mind.
next. childcare. you can't depend on family all the time. sheer fact its not their responsibility. you may have to pay someone. and its not nice to leave mom and dad with your child when you are at school and work. because you DO have to do both.
go to school then straight to work.
eat healthy food. go to your doctor appointments, exercise and take your prenatal vitamins.
you don't have to breast feed. but i suggest it, its increases the babys immune system and creates a bond. between mom and baby.
try to pick a unique name. something special. think about it hard. don't settle. and if you think you like it. say the name(full name) alot. just to make sure its something you will always want to say.
you will have alot of needles stuck in you. you will if not already have morning sickness(which isn't always just in the morning) if you can't eat anything, at all, and you are dehydrated. go to the er. and get an iv.
be a role model for kids like you, make sure they know exactly how it is. so it doesn't happen to them. cuz it will be hard. good luck
Whats done is done now, so don't dwell on the past. It sounds like you two have pretty good heads on your shoulders so far. Eating healthy food and giving into cravings during your pregnancy will help keep you healthy, the cravings somtimes are your bodys way of saying you need more of this or that. Being active, walking and excercising but not overduing it will help keep you fit. Avoid uncooked processed meats aka bologna hotdogs hamburger make sure they are cooked. For the name pick somthing you and your bf both agree on. Take your prenatials and visit the dr regulerly. There is WIC that can help provide you with milk and other things you need during your pregnancy and breastfeeding if you breast feed. If you don't breastfeed they help you get formula for your child. good luck!
First off I would like you congratulate you on being responsible to keep your baby. The first thing I would say to do is to make sure you have a support system, family and friends will be a huge help. Find a doctor and make sure you keep your appointments and take your vitamins. Try to have a healthy lifestyle and take time to rest.
Babies drink breast milk or formula (you can sign up for free samples) only for a few months and as they get older you can add rice cereal, and then baby food. Your doctor will tell you when you can start adding the solid foods like the cereal and baby foods.
Discuss names with your boyfriend and consider taking a birthing class together or parenting class. Most hospitals offer them for free. Good luck.
Well first off congrats on the baby :)
Eat healthy and take your vitamins every day. Your OB should have given you some prenatal vitamins to take or you can take something over the counter like one-a-days. Exercise on a moderate level will also keep your body healthy and will make you have an easier labor when the big day comes. Stay away from fast foods, caffeine, a lot of fish and the obvious things like smoking and alcohol.
Besides breast milk babies eat formula. You can get a powder formula and mix it with water or a liquid formula. How and what you want to feed your baby is purely your decision and you'll need to look into the benefits of both breast feeding and bottle feeding to decide what you want to do.
Basically all of the things in the first paragraph go for you and your baby's health :)
A name is a difficult task. You and your bf need to sit down and discuss what names you like/dislike. This is also another thing that is purely your decision. You can chose to do a family name or make up something new. Its all up to you. My bf and I bought a baby naming book. We both went through it on our own time and highlighted names that we liked. I used yellow highlighter and he used orange. The ones that we both agreed on we put on a list then we narrowed it down from there. There are also lots of websites that are very helpful as well. Type ';baby names'; or something like that into google and there should be tons of things.
Money, Jobs, Daycare, Insurance, Circumcision (If it is a boy), Medication during labor Vs. Natural labor and things like that are very good things to talk about. I'd suggest taking a pregnancy and parenting class before your baby is born. My bf and I did and it opened our eyes to a lot of things we didn't even think about and it really helped me feel prepared for labor.
Also- if your parents don't know yet I'd suggest making that your first step. Your parents are going to be your rock!
Last thing- A very important thing to figure out is where the baby is going to stay while you are in school. Finishing school may seem hard, but its going to be the best thing for you and your baby in the long run.
Best of luck to you!!!
1. Make sure to take your prenatal vitamins and a calcium supplement everyday! Your body gives all the nutrients to your baby first and you get the left overs. My dentist said that it is very common for pregnant women to lose teeth or get cavities during pregnancy. Make sure that you eat right as well. Everything you eat so does the baby.
2. Well baby food but that is not for a while honestly...
3. Go to your doctors visits. They are very important. You can also walk and swim!!!
4. Just choose a name... make a list both of you and then compare... eventually you will just know which name is right for your baby. I will say though you do not have to name your baby immediately. I waited till I saw my daughter before I named her.
5. Basically housing and money.
I do recommend finding a pediatrician before you have your baby too, so they can come check your baby out at the hospital rather than just having the on staff one do it.
Also, having a baby is hard... and I am not preaching. I had a baby 18 days ago... and sleep is a luxury, so make sure while you are pregnant that you relax and get as much sleep as possible. I will say though I never mind waking up with my baby no matter how much or how little sleep I get. You love them so much it all seems so trivial! Good luck!
I must say that im quite proud of how mature you are being about all of this. Im not going to lie its going to be quite hard!! a good thing to get is a book called ';what to expect when you're expecting'; it can be found in almost any book store. it will give you week by week information about what your body is going through and what to expect throughout your pregnancy. have you talked to your mom and dad yet? if not that something that really needs to be talked about also you need to start taking prenatal vitamins, you can find them at Walgreen's, don't mess around with the expensive ones, the generic brand has the same stuff in it! while you are pregnant it is a good idea to eat very healthy. lots a fruits and veggies and protein. you have to remember everything that goes in your mouth goes right to the baby so no drinking or smoking what so ever ok? another thing you really need to go see the doctor, your mom will be able to help you with that, they will do an ultrasound of the baby to make sure everything is ok! good luck with everything. if you have any more questions you can email me at daisiesinmyheart@live.com with anything you might need to talk about =) again good luck and congratulations!
To keep healthy during pregnancy you need to take prenatal vitamins (your doctor will advise you which ones), and eat healthy food. Keep away from cigarettes and alcohol. Also going swimming, and walking will keep you fit
Babies only ';eat'; breast milk or formula (if you choose not to breastfeed) for the first 6 months. After that they can eat mashed food and slowly you can introduce blended meats
To decide on a name, type ';baby names'; into google and go through them with your partner
You and your boyfriend will need to talk teach otherer and your parents/doctors about how to care for a baby, and many other things
Congratulations and good luck
hey
first of all come out of that ';wrong thing'; attitude... it happens. now that u have decided to stick on to it and bring junior into the world, it no longer remains the wrong thing. ur just moving to a higher level in life much before most of us thats it. enjoy each and every moment. hope ur folks are not being too harsh on u... anyway everything will settle down once junior is out into this beautiful world...
y dont u two consider getting married, thats if ur country's law permits marriage at this age... but this is a really heavy commitment so u both have to stick together to work it out well... u know wat i mean.
during ur pregnancy just eat right, healthy and do some light exercise. well ur exercise changes with each trimester. u surely need to get a doc's advice. stay away from fruits like pineapple %26amp; papaya, they impair the baby's development. relax and do things u enjoy and things that relax u, give u happiness. the happiness flowing in ur blood is essential for the fetal health.
how many months pregnant r u? enjoy it.
u can discuss about the duties of a mom and a dad with ur bf. u could get a book on parenting and read it together and give each other ur opinions. trust me, it does work...
1. if youre healthy the baby is healthy...dont eat REALLY fatty food and excercise...im not saying run a mile and whatnot....there are special excercises you can do while pregnant to stay healthy.
2. Baby food...pretty self explanitory...you cna also boil and mash carrots...peas....just dont feed the kid anything like pizza obviously haha
3. again...excercise...dont drink, smoke OBVIOUSLY
4. you need to discuss anything you are not sure of...i would say go see a coach about something like this as well...or if you're close with them and theyre not mad at you...youre parents...aunts uncles...anything adult that you trust (family) that has had a child. They can be a big help too.
i'm fifteen and pregnant. u may need to discuss what ur going to do when baby's born. whats going to happen? i mean, will he move in wif you or vice versa? my bf has moved in with us and it's fantastic since our families get on great and its all good.
make sure u don't drink or smoke, or eat unhealthy foods. i eat lots of fruits and veg and yogurt lol. yuuuum!
new born babies don really eat much besides breast milk.
for fun maybe discuss names and how you will decorate the baby's crib and room. (always fun!) deciding on a name is difficult. we r naming ours jayden, (just a name i like) Matt. Matt is my bf's choice of name. lol during ur pregnancy, maybe do stretches and take slow walks to stay healthy. relax too.
hope i helped and congrats!
good luck,
britts
I work with infants who are born to teenage mothers. I know that this is not what you want to hear, but I believe that it is the best thing for every one in the situation, adoption. There are millions of couples who are mature and have the resources to give your baby the best life possible. I have seen the joy of a couple who is not able to have children be able to adopt a baby. You are so young, and you have your whole life in front of you to finish your education before you start a family.
I would recommend staying very active while you are pregnant. Get as many fruits and vegetables in your diet. Stay away from tuna, it is high in mercury.
I would also recommend getting in touch with other teen moms who have made the brave decision to give their baby up for adoption. I know the love that you feel for the baby is so strong, but you should look past your feelings and think about what is best for this precious gift from God.
Here are some general questions you can go around:
What can I do during my pregnancy to keep my baby healthy?
What kind of stuff do new born babies eat besides breast milk?
What should I do during my pregnancy to make sure I stay healthy too?
How do we decide on a name?
What kind of things do me and my boyfriend need to discuss about the baby and the pregnancy?
If you have any advice and any other pieces of useful information, I accept all helpful, insightful answers. Please do not be rude. I know what I did was a wrong thing. We should have been protected. We know we've done something wrong and we are fully prepared to face the consequences.
Thank You,
AL and TJI'm gonna be a 15 year old mother. Advice?
1. Take your vitamins. No drugs, drinking, smoking, or unprotected sex (with anyone other than your partner..) Don't run any marathons - over-doing exercise during prego can lead to problems. Try not to gain too much weight.
2. Formula. No solids 'till at least 3 months, normally. Cereals at first - rice, then oat, etc. Then fruits. Then veggies. Then juices, later..
3. Same as number one.
4. Invest in baby name books. I chose a mix of Biblical and Gaelic..
5. What SHOULDN'T you discuss? EVERYTHING! From the birth, hospital stay, care giving during it's infancy, child rearing, careers, etc.. The list goes on...
You both should be applauded for willingly going through this most scary and important event in your lives. You're both very brave, and seem like you're ready to try and become responsible, loving parents. Don't feel ashamed of what you've done.. what's happened... embrace it. You're about to experience the miracle of birth, and of the most strongest love and bond in the world - that of maternity. Don't forget that. It doesn't matter what your ages, as long as you can embrace it.
This will be one of the hardest times in your lives - prepare yourselves, emotionally, physically, mentally. If you get through this you've accomplished a lot...
Don't be afraid to seek help when you need it. When that baby comes, it's gonna be non-stop drudgery for the first few months, at least. Accept all offers, and seek help when you must. Don't underestimate what even a few hours ';away'; can do for yourself - take it..
Be ready - as ready as one can be - for the unexpected. My first pregnancy ended in an emergency c-section, and i was devastated. I had never been in a hospital before, let alone put under the knife. The experience left me in a state of shock during a time when i should've been able to concentrate entirely on my new baby.. try to consider the worst case scenarios, and then thank God (if that's what you do) when they don't happen... I wish i could've been better prepared, mentally, for that one, but i thought at the time that everything would be perfect...
Having a baby is an entire LIFESTYLE SHIFT. Don't expect anything to ever be the same. Your life will change on most, if not all, levels. Depending on your acceptance of this change will determine how stressful it is for you. If you find it's like ';culture shock';, it's gonna be a million times harder. If you can actually embrace these changes, then maybe you might stand a chance of not losing your marbles, like i feel i did... You'll see what i mean, after you bring that baby home..! The good news is, you do eventually work through it, work your way into a system, and after a while some semblance of control and routine will be gained...
Expect to see the worst of your spouse/boyfriend. The beginning months/years of child rearing are so very trying and stressful, they really are. They wreak havoc on a relationship, and the worst of both people can be brought out. You'll need lots of help and support from him, more than you might realize, and if he falls short of fulfilling that, you're going to be left with major resentment towards him..
If you haven't yet purchased these books, hurry up and do so. They're really good reading, and are a ';must';...
http://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-When-Y鈥?/a>
http://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-First-鈥?/a>
Above all, learn all you can. Have a baby shower - you'll need it, trust me. Seek support. Expect the unexpected. Try to embrace this strange new experience. Enjoy your baby while you can - it's easy to get lost in the day to day care and forget that you're allowed to ';enjoy'; them.. Take pictures. Plan ahead. Don't beat yourself up over everything (this is a big one..) - you're first time parents, and you WILL NOT know instinctively what to do! You will have to LEARN what to do, mistakes, triumphs, and all...! Don't worry about your mistakes.. a million mothers came before you who did all kinds of things to their babies and they all survived.. Yours will too. Love that little bundle of joy with all your heart, and guard it with every fiber of your being... there are too many bad people and things that can happen in this world. Keep your children close, don't let them out of your sight. Take with a grain of salt all that your forbearers will tell you to do - their's is from the old-school ways, and times have changed. Don't allow them to push you into their old ways if you don't feel comfortable with it. Get the best pediatrician you can find and ask lots of questions.
Again, don't apologize to the world for what you've done - you don't owe the world an apology - you owe your child a good life. Redirect your priorities to your baby. Who cares about the world...? You're already half way there. You're doing good. Don't stop now. Just keep on doing what you're doing.. You're about to be wonderful parents...
Good luck to you both!I'm gonna be a 15 year old mother. Advice?
Get medicaid (insurance through the government) and seek prenatal care. You will get akll the info and books you need. Hurry up and get it to ensure a healthy pregnancy. Contact your local department of social services to get the ball rolling. You are an emancipted minor because of the pregnancy, so you dont need your parents permission for anything.
well first of all i don't support this, but i will say i hope that you going thru this experience will be good. maybe you can reach out to other young children (cuz you are still children). and maybe they won't want to go thru the same thing.
anyways. you can't survive financially on a mcdonalds paycheck or any paycheck that starts you around minimum wage. go to the store. look at diapers. the cost. and ask people how many you will go thru. its gna blow your mind.
next. childcare. you can't depend on family all the time. sheer fact its not their responsibility. you may have to pay someone. and its not nice to leave mom and dad with your child when you are at school and work. because you DO have to do both.
go to school then straight to work.
eat healthy food. go to your doctor appointments, exercise and take your prenatal vitamins.
you don't have to breast feed. but i suggest it, its increases the babys immune system and creates a bond. between mom and baby.
try to pick a unique name. something special. think about it hard. don't settle. and if you think you like it. say the name(full name) alot. just to make sure its something you will always want to say.
you will have alot of needles stuck in you. you will if not already have morning sickness(which isn't always just in the morning) if you can't eat anything, at all, and you are dehydrated. go to the er. and get an iv.
be a role model for kids like you, make sure they know exactly how it is. so it doesn't happen to them. cuz it will be hard. good luck
Whats done is done now, so don't dwell on the past. It sounds like you two have pretty good heads on your shoulders so far. Eating healthy food and giving into cravings during your pregnancy will help keep you healthy, the cravings somtimes are your bodys way of saying you need more of this or that. Being active, walking and excercising but not overduing it will help keep you fit. Avoid uncooked processed meats aka bologna hotdogs hamburger make sure they are cooked. For the name pick somthing you and your bf both agree on. Take your prenatials and visit the dr regulerly. There is WIC that can help provide you with milk and other things you need during your pregnancy and breastfeeding if you breast feed. If you don't breastfeed they help you get formula for your child. good luck!
First off I would like you congratulate you on being responsible to keep your baby. The first thing I would say to do is to make sure you have a support system, family and friends will be a huge help. Find a doctor and make sure you keep your appointments and take your vitamins. Try to have a healthy lifestyle and take time to rest.
Babies drink breast milk or formula (you can sign up for free samples) only for a few months and as they get older you can add rice cereal, and then baby food. Your doctor will tell you when you can start adding the solid foods like the cereal and baby foods.
Discuss names with your boyfriend and consider taking a birthing class together or parenting class. Most hospitals offer them for free. Good luck.
Well first off congrats on the baby :)
Eat healthy and take your vitamins every day. Your OB should have given you some prenatal vitamins to take or you can take something over the counter like one-a-days. Exercise on a moderate level will also keep your body healthy and will make you have an easier labor when the big day comes. Stay away from fast foods, caffeine, a lot of fish and the obvious things like smoking and alcohol.
Besides breast milk babies eat formula. You can get a powder formula and mix it with water or a liquid formula. How and what you want to feed your baby is purely your decision and you'll need to look into the benefits of both breast feeding and bottle feeding to decide what you want to do.
Basically all of the things in the first paragraph go for you and your baby's health :)
A name is a difficult task. You and your bf need to sit down and discuss what names you like/dislike. This is also another thing that is purely your decision. You can chose to do a family name or make up something new. Its all up to you. My bf and I bought a baby naming book. We both went through it on our own time and highlighted names that we liked. I used yellow highlighter and he used orange. The ones that we both agreed on we put on a list then we narrowed it down from there. There are also lots of websites that are very helpful as well. Type ';baby names'; or something like that into google and there should be tons of things.
Money, Jobs, Daycare, Insurance, Circumcision (If it is a boy), Medication during labor Vs. Natural labor and things like that are very good things to talk about. I'd suggest taking a pregnancy and parenting class before your baby is born. My bf and I did and it opened our eyes to a lot of things we didn't even think about and it really helped me feel prepared for labor.
Also- if your parents don't know yet I'd suggest making that your first step. Your parents are going to be your rock!
Last thing- A very important thing to figure out is where the baby is going to stay while you are in school. Finishing school may seem hard, but its going to be the best thing for you and your baby in the long run.
Best of luck to you!!!
1. Make sure to take your prenatal vitamins and a calcium supplement everyday! Your body gives all the nutrients to your baby first and you get the left overs. My dentist said that it is very common for pregnant women to lose teeth or get cavities during pregnancy. Make sure that you eat right as well. Everything you eat so does the baby.
2. Well baby food but that is not for a while honestly...
3. Go to your doctors visits. They are very important. You can also walk and swim!!!
4. Just choose a name... make a list both of you and then compare... eventually you will just know which name is right for your baby. I will say though you do not have to name your baby immediately. I waited till I saw my daughter before I named her.
5. Basically housing and money.
I do recommend finding a pediatrician before you have your baby too, so they can come check your baby out at the hospital rather than just having the on staff one do it.
Also, having a baby is hard... and I am not preaching. I had a baby 18 days ago... and sleep is a luxury, so make sure while you are pregnant that you relax and get as much sleep as possible. I will say though I never mind waking up with my baby no matter how much or how little sleep I get. You love them so much it all seems so trivial! Good luck!
I must say that im quite proud of how mature you are being about all of this. Im not going to lie its going to be quite hard!! a good thing to get is a book called ';what to expect when you're expecting'; it can be found in almost any book store. it will give you week by week information about what your body is going through and what to expect throughout your pregnancy. have you talked to your mom and dad yet? if not that something that really needs to be talked about also you need to start taking prenatal vitamins, you can find them at Walgreen's, don't mess around with the expensive ones, the generic brand has the same stuff in it! while you are pregnant it is a good idea to eat very healthy. lots a fruits and veggies and protein. you have to remember everything that goes in your mouth goes right to the baby so no drinking or smoking what so ever ok? another thing you really need to go see the doctor, your mom will be able to help you with that, they will do an ultrasound of the baby to make sure everything is ok! good luck with everything. if you have any more questions you can email me at daisiesinmyheart@live.com with anything you might need to talk about =) again good luck and congratulations!
To keep healthy during pregnancy you need to take prenatal vitamins (your doctor will advise you which ones), and eat healthy food. Keep away from cigarettes and alcohol. Also going swimming, and walking will keep you fit
Babies only ';eat'; breast milk or formula (if you choose not to breastfeed) for the first 6 months. After that they can eat mashed food and slowly you can introduce blended meats
To decide on a name, type ';baby names'; into google and go through them with your partner
You and your boyfriend will need to talk teach otherer and your parents/doctors about how to care for a baby, and many other things
Congratulations and good luck
hey
first of all come out of that ';wrong thing'; attitude... it happens. now that u have decided to stick on to it and bring junior into the world, it no longer remains the wrong thing. ur just moving to a higher level in life much before most of us thats it. enjoy each and every moment. hope ur folks are not being too harsh on u... anyway everything will settle down once junior is out into this beautiful world...
y dont u two consider getting married, thats if ur country's law permits marriage at this age... but this is a really heavy commitment so u both have to stick together to work it out well... u know wat i mean.
during ur pregnancy just eat right, healthy and do some light exercise. well ur exercise changes with each trimester. u surely need to get a doc's advice. stay away from fruits like pineapple %26amp; papaya, they impair the baby's development. relax and do things u enjoy and things that relax u, give u happiness. the happiness flowing in ur blood is essential for the fetal health.
how many months pregnant r u? enjoy it.
u can discuss about the duties of a mom and a dad with ur bf. u could get a book on parenting and read it together and give each other ur opinions. trust me, it does work...
1. if youre healthy the baby is healthy...dont eat REALLY fatty food and excercise...im not saying run a mile and whatnot....there are special excercises you can do while pregnant to stay healthy.
2. Baby food...pretty self explanitory...you cna also boil and mash carrots...peas....just dont feed the kid anything like pizza obviously haha
3. again...excercise...dont drink, smoke OBVIOUSLY
4. you need to discuss anything you are not sure of...i would say go see a coach about something like this as well...or if you're close with them and theyre not mad at you...youre parents...aunts uncles...anything adult that you trust (family) that has had a child. They can be a big help too.
i'm fifteen and pregnant. u may need to discuss what ur going to do when baby's born. whats going to happen? i mean, will he move in wif you or vice versa? my bf has moved in with us and it's fantastic since our families get on great and its all good.
make sure u don't drink or smoke, or eat unhealthy foods. i eat lots of fruits and veg and yogurt lol. yuuuum!
new born babies don really eat much besides breast milk.
for fun maybe discuss names and how you will decorate the baby's crib and room. (always fun!) deciding on a name is difficult. we r naming ours jayden, (just a name i like) Matt. Matt is my bf's choice of name. lol during ur pregnancy, maybe do stretches and take slow walks to stay healthy. relax too.
hope i helped and congrats!
good luck,
britts
I work with infants who are born to teenage mothers. I know that this is not what you want to hear, but I believe that it is the best thing for every one in the situation, adoption. There are millions of couples who are mature and have the resources to give your baby the best life possible. I have seen the joy of a couple who is not able to have children be able to adopt a baby. You are so young, and you have your whole life in front of you to finish your education before you start a family.
I would recommend staying very active while you are pregnant. Get as many fruits and vegetables in your diet. Stay away from tuna, it is high in mercury.
I would also recommend getting in touch with other teen moms who have made the brave decision to give their baby up for adoption. I know the love that you feel for the baby is so strong, but you should look past your feelings and think about what is best for this precious gift from God.
How will she know im her mother? Advice please?
When i first have my baby i am going to be living in my parents house. I have sisters my age who are around all the time and other family members and parents... pretty much there are constantly people here and they will want to be around the baby constantly and help out.
Which i welcome but i am concerned about how the baby will know that i am her mother. There will be people holding her and being around her just as much as i am? How will she have special connection to me or know Im her mother?
I suggested to my family that i will be the only one who bottle feeds her ( can't breast feed) and they said it was silly and the baby will know im her mother , but im not so sure.
What does everyone think? And what are some ways you can make that connection when there are so many other people around all the time?How will she know im her mother? Advice please?
I'm sure it does sound weird to you since this will be your first baby, but trust me- she'll know that you're her mother. She had 9 months of getting used to everything about you, especially your voice.
Anything you do with her will be a connection, even if it's simply holding her. Just try and relax- she will know who you are and there will be times when all it takes for her to stop crying is to be in your arms. :-)How will she know im her mother? Advice please?
A baby knows his/her mother. She's heard you voice the clearest for the last few months and your voice will be a comfort to her. You feeding her, holding her and spending time with her will help you to bond. But it isn't going to hurt you or her if someone else is doing those things too. There are going to be times when you are going to need a break and it will be nice to have some extra hands to help.
she knows your voice and it wont be long until she learns your smell. And, although u may have help during the days, it is most likely that u will take on all the night-crawling duties, and those r the moments when u will bond the most with her.
I don't think you should be so insecure..
ofcourse baby wl know you are his /her mother.. bonding comes within I think.. make sure that you wl spend quality time with baby and let the baby sleep with you.. giving bath,feeding, cuddling these things make the bond more strong..
she will know the sound of her voice, so talk to her now and when you have her. she will Always know who and where(if your anywhere she can hear you) you are.
Your baby will know who her mother is! She will respond by your voice. Its natural for her to know who you are. 2-3 days after birth a baby could learn their language and distinguish other voices from their mother. Dont worry!
i am sorry i can not answer that i just lost one of my twin girls and i have 1 other who is 2 and her daddy just died at war i am sorry
Your baby will know you are her mom. The baby will know your voice, shes been hearing you talk all this time.
your body will have a distinct smell to her. if your the one who does most of the feedings then she will know who you are, and she will know your face.
As long as you're around, your baby will always know who you are. She already knows your voice, so talk to her a lot.
Which i welcome but i am concerned about how the baby will know that i am her mother. There will be people holding her and being around her just as much as i am? How will she have special connection to me or know Im her mother?
I suggested to my family that i will be the only one who bottle feeds her ( can't breast feed) and they said it was silly and the baby will know im her mother , but im not so sure.
What does everyone think? And what are some ways you can make that connection when there are so many other people around all the time?How will she know im her mother? Advice please?
I'm sure it does sound weird to you since this will be your first baby, but trust me- she'll know that you're her mother. She had 9 months of getting used to everything about you, especially your voice.
Anything you do with her will be a connection, even if it's simply holding her. Just try and relax- she will know who you are and there will be times when all it takes for her to stop crying is to be in your arms. :-)How will she know im her mother? Advice please?
A baby knows his/her mother. She's heard you voice the clearest for the last few months and your voice will be a comfort to her. You feeding her, holding her and spending time with her will help you to bond. But it isn't going to hurt you or her if someone else is doing those things too. There are going to be times when you are going to need a break and it will be nice to have some extra hands to help.
she knows your voice and it wont be long until she learns your smell. And, although u may have help during the days, it is most likely that u will take on all the night-crawling duties, and those r the moments when u will bond the most with her.
I don't think you should be so insecure..
ofcourse baby wl know you are his /her mother.. bonding comes within I think.. make sure that you wl spend quality time with baby and let the baby sleep with you.. giving bath,feeding, cuddling these things make the bond more strong..
she will know the sound of her voice, so talk to her now and when you have her. she will Always know who and where(if your anywhere she can hear you) you are.
Your baby will know who her mother is! She will respond by your voice. Its natural for her to know who you are. 2-3 days after birth a baby could learn their language and distinguish other voices from their mother. Dont worry!
i am sorry i can not answer that i just lost one of my twin girls and i have 1 other who is 2 and her daddy just died at war i am sorry
Your baby will know you are her mom. The baby will know your voice, shes been hearing you talk all this time.
your body will have a distinct smell to her. if your the one who does most of the feedings then she will know who you are, and she will know your face.
As long as you're around, your baby will always know who you are. She already knows your voice, so talk to her a lot.
I'm running away..( Needs a mother advice )?
I am 19-years-old and i can't really consider this running away because im grown but at the sametime my parents look after me because i have epilepsy. But my mom is out of her darn mind and so aggravating and i can't handle it anymore. I'm tired of her putting me down and saying she tired of me flipping around as a fish when shes angry she is just cruel when she become real angry and even talks about her own grand kids like there nothing. She says she into god but i don't think she is. I am tired of it and i need to get away after today i had it with the max and i need to just get away and bad part i don't have anywhere to go but i don't care ill just walk until i can't anymore. Its bad enough im sick and i have to stay inside and to let her put me down and i can't do nothing because im sick hurts alot and i wish she had more respect for me like i did for her. Even when she say cruel things to me i just silently cry i don't even bother disrespecting her because she did raise me better than that. But at the sametime its not helping me that im sick i got a headache out this word as im writing this because of her. I'm not a bad child i don't cuss i don't drink or smoke im still a virgin thankfully and im not bad at all. I need atleast some advice.I'm running away..( Needs a mother advice )?
I'm sorry to hear you're afflicted with epilepsy. The things your mother has said to you is abuse, intended or not. What you may want to do is get social services involved--get resources for care and finances for the disabled outside of your family. This will give her a break and give you an opportunity to experience life outside of home. There are homes you can go to for short term stays or permanent care. Medicaid may be able to help you fund them.
You know how much work is involved in your care--it's not your fault, but you also understand how draining it is. Family counseling and support groups would help too--for everyone to express themselves and find more constructive ways of helping you be independent.
I'm sorry to hear you're afflicted with epilepsy. The things your mother has said to you is abuse, intended or not. What you may want to do is get social services involved--get resources for care and finances for the disabled outside of your family. This will give her a break and give you an opportunity to experience life outside of home. There are homes you can go to for short term stays or permanent care. Medicaid may be able to help you fund them.
You know how much work is involved in your care--it's not your fault, but you also understand how draining it is. Family counseling and support groups would help too--for everyone to express themselves and find more constructive ways of helping you be independent.
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