I was looking for other parent's opinion's regarding what's going on with our youth of today...
My son is an 18 year old senior in high school and while some may call me strict, I myself feel I am being a great parent! My son plays football, is NOT involved in any sort-of drugs and does not drink. I as a parent feel that even though he is 18 his curfew still should and will be 12:00 until he leaves my home. I don't allow him or any friends to drink any sort-of liquor at my house. Last year my son went to prom with his girlfriend of 3 years. He stayed at her house and I made sure his parent's WERE HOME and kept an eye on the both of them. This year he wants to get a beach house or a hotel but I as a mother will not allow it!! Not while he is in my house none of this nonsense will go on!!
I talk with other mother's of the football team and at many other school gatherings that my son goes to and the things they tell me AMAZE ME!!!
(to be continued)Mother seeking advice/help?
Are you going to pick his wife for him and decide where they'll live and when to have kids? 18 is a little old for you to still be babying him. Untie the apron strings, your job is done.Mother seeking advice/help?
I've never understood why parents say ';not while they are living in my house';.Is it your ego and will to control or do you want to help your kids?As it is only a matter of time that he does move out and maybe does things you don't agree with.What will you say then?I didn't raise you this way or your not my son if you do that.I understand your instinct to protect your son as long as possible but you can't keep him from the big bad world forever.He has a right to make his own mistakes.And in this world today,I don't think it's too much for an 18 year old to ask to stay in a hotel with his friends.Hopefully you,ve given him good sense not to drink too much, take drugs or drink and drive.He will eventually leave your home.So is it okay then if he does all this stuff?I'm not saying to let him do anything in your home that he wants but a little bit of understanding that he is almost a man and needs to create and make his own decisions I believe leads to a much healthier and happy relationship.
I think you are very justified in your position as a mother. You are absolutely right that until he moves out on his own paying his own way he should abide by your rules. I believe your rules are very reasonable and those other mothers are out of their flippin' minds. Please don't question yourself another minute because you are the kind of parent all kids need. Your son may not like it now especially since he obviously sees other parents allowing their kids to do whatever...but one day when he has kids of his own he will know in his heart that you loved him enough to tell him NO! Way to go mom!
I am 16 and I think you've done very well, especially cince he would tell you about the hotel and beach house. You are very lucky. Most kids would just do it anyway. Be thankful that you can trust your son to tell the truth.
mathrer
I'm the same way as you...My house my rules, if my boys want to do what they want to do, they can move and i told them this....When he leaves your house, he can choose how he lives, until that time, keep him in check...Down the road he will appreciate what you have done...
WOW!! Cut the umbilical cord already!
Trust me, even though I haven't been 18 in 25 years, I can remember this much... If he wants to have sex YOU are not going to stop it.
If you don't trust him now, when he moves out he will be GONE and never look back at the control freak that raised him.
Who cares what other mother's do and let there children do..
You are the mother and these are your rules and if you don't stick by these rules you will show him NO means YES and YES means NO.......I am a mother... remember if this is what you have decided for your Motherly reason's Don't let anyone discourage you rules.....RULES ARE RULES They are not mean to be broken.........................
WE Need Many! Many More! Parents Like You In This World.
The Young Is TOO Wild And Free. I Feel Like If We Parents Were More Strict The Crime Rate Would Be Low. Tax Payers Pay For Teen Pregnancys,Building Jails,Detention Centers.This Money Could Be Saved By More Parental Control.The Parents Have The Children And The Children Raise Themselves With Out Parental Control.The Great Children Have So Much Peer Pressure On Them! By The Children Who Are Being Raised Without Parental Control.
Ouch....... Ok, first off let me start off by letting you know I am a 24 yr old male, but I am also a father. So In a BIG way I can see where your coming from. Here is what I feel you should do, honestly you should let him go. He is 18 and legally an adult. This is all based on a matter of trust. You are not sending him to this thing with booze and pot. Those things he can aquire on his own. If you trust your son, than he wont do any of those things. He will use his common sense and just say no. Prom party is a HUGE deal to a teen. If you refuse to let him go at all it will ignite some harsh feelings. He is your son, but he's not a little boy anymore. Ask him to promise to check in with you as a sign of good faith. A call every two hours would be perfect. If he doesnt call or calls and sounds trashed, than tell him you will be there to pick him up. If the aspect of a parent coming to embarass him doesn't stop him, nothing will. Trust him, he sounds like a strong willed level headed kid. Trust him and let him have a day pass from the nest. I know it's hard, but it's the right thing to do. Good luck.
While your son lives under your roof then yesyou are entitled not to have liquor in the house as boys can get silly.However you cannot always babysit him forever. He needs to start to making his own choices. Stop over protecting your son I understand about the alcohol issue.My brother used to play football anddrink with his mates.Now it has affected his liver. As your son does not drink you need to let him have his own life.
Im kinda young,but i think that u should really loosen up,if anything ever goes wrong,u tell him that wus y u were being strict,and have him learn from his mistakes.
First off, you should not be worried what other people think. If you believe in your rules and your son is a good kid, then you are doing something right. You don't say one word about a father figure for your son, does your husband have any input in your son's life? Is he a good role model on how a man should be? I agree with you, as long as he is living in your house, he must follow your rules. Kids will do what they want to do, so if they really want to do something, they will find a way to do it, regardless of the rules.
I am a 35yr old guy and coach of a highschool sports team, the team has both mens and womens sides to it and we travel atleast 4 times a year to different tournaments around the country to play.
I have had many issues with conduct during my time, I try to be someone who they can talk to about issues they might have with the rules which really helps. I try to make them understand why there are rules in play and what they are there for. I also try to let them enjoy their trips without breaking them rules.
It seems to me like you do not trust your son one bit. When I was in highschool we had those parties and I was at them. My grandpa was very important in teaching me right from wrong and it seems like you have taught your son what is righ and what is wrong.
You need to give him some trust and let him experience life and make decisions for who he wants to be. Trust me you arn't with him 24/7 and you would be surprised how often I deal with kids who have resented the fact their parents don't trust them to do the right thing.
I never smoked pot at a party because I just wasn't into that at all, I might of had a beer or two but not to the extent of anything bad coming of it. GIVE HIM YOUR TRUST and watch how things change.
He is 18.. Legal adult. I think its great you have rules for him to follow when he is home, and that you personally dont let anyone drink in your home. Its good to have some rules, but as far as not letting him go to friends, etc when they are having parties well thats kind of over doing it. I mean you said yourself he dont do drugs, or drink so whats so wrong with him going to a couple parties to hangout with his friends, him being there isnt going to make him do anything bad, he wont do anything that he dont already do. My parents were strict with me, and set rules for me when I was living in thier home, but allowed me to drink on certain holidays as long as I didnt over due it, and showed them I was being responsible, and it sounds to me your son is a very responsible person, and would never do anything you dissaprove of obviously since he follows your house rules. He dont need a babysitter, and him needing his girlfriends parents to be there for him to stay there is kind of over doing it along with not letting him do the whole beach house thing. I mean I can understand you needing to know her parents are ok with him spending the night there, but the fact he couldnt if they werent because you dont like the idea is kind of harsh. Its not nonsense for him to want to spend time with his friends doing things like that after all he isnt a baby anymore. You need to trust him more then you do, your being way too over protective of him especially for the age he is. I can understand him having a curfew, but I think the 12am curfew should be more reinforced during work/school days(like when you have to get up early, and go to work, etc), and then give him a curfew of like 2am on the weekends as long as he keeps up with his responsibilities. It seems to me that your son is very trustworthy, and diserves a little more freedom then he is getting as long as he dont show you he dont diserve it(for example: he does his chores, goes to school/work on time, and gets everything else he needs to do done, and stays out of actual trouble.)if he dont act responsibly then its ok to revoke some of his privlages until he earns them back, but realize he is 18, and will soon be leaving home especially if you keep being so strict, and over protective. When my parents got like that with me it made me rebel more because I couldnt stand it, I have never gotten into any kind of trouble, and never did anything at the time to show them they couldnt trust me so I just basically went, and stayed out until I felt like coming home, or left when I wanted to go somewhere, and they were over reacting. They eventually started looking at all the good I did, and how I never got into any trouble, and eased up. I am now a mother of a beautiful little boy, he is no where near your sons age, but me not being too much older then him, and having parents just like you know what hes going through, and you really have no reason to be so strict with him as long as he does what hes supposed to.
You are right to be concerned. He's your son and of course you want to look out for him. I think you might have to give him some leway . He's a kid let him live. You have to trust your son, and belive he has the potental to do the right thing. Ive been a teenager and yes I got into trouble , but what I relized is the more my Mom told me no the more I wanted to do those things. Bottom line : He's 18 , an adult. You should worry and advise him to do the right thing, but you have to let him live his life.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Survey: What's the best advice your mother ever gave you?
friends bring you go, they dont bring you back.
boys and books dont mix.
study your head, dont let your head study you.
and the list go on and on and on.................Survey: What's the best advice your mother ever gave you?
The best advice my mom ever gave me was when you are looking for a guy to date don't look at what he lookes at just look at his persinalitySurvey: What's the best advice your mother ever gave you?
Boys can be jerks, but boys are boys. What do you expect Jeanette!?
(when my boyfriend, now my ex-boyfriend, cheated on me)
Never trust anyone except yourself xxxx
she doesnt want me to see me make the same mistake over and over.
im only hurting myself.
Always put on a clean pair of panties in the morning
';your dreams are fantasies unless you make them happen';
never be jelouse because people should be jelouse of u
be determined
give you virginity to one you really really love. I wish i followed that.
education is the way to success
dont get attatched to this guy, he will break your heart
the thing that sux is that she was right
She wants me to look back if I have more money and keep going if I don't have enough.... LOL!
Before you sleep with a man make sure he buys you a good meal first :)
Just know that if I brought you in the Earth, I sure can take you out of it!!...
';Don't be in a hurry to grow up.';
Man, was she right!
don't sweat the small stuff
always be nice to everyone and smile regardless of how bad things are
dream BIG :]
want to be strong control your anger for god sake
call him
none
He who angers you, rules you.detox cleansing
boys and books dont mix.
study your head, dont let your head study you.
and the list go on and on and on.................Survey: What's the best advice your mother ever gave you?
The best advice my mom ever gave me was when you are looking for a guy to date don't look at what he lookes at just look at his persinalitySurvey: What's the best advice your mother ever gave you?
Boys can be jerks, but boys are boys. What do you expect Jeanette!?
(when my boyfriend, now my ex-boyfriend, cheated on me)
Never trust anyone except yourself xxxx
she doesnt want me to see me make the same mistake over and over.
im only hurting myself.
Always put on a clean pair of panties in the morning
';your dreams are fantasies unless you make them happen';
never be jelouse because people should be jelouse of u
be determined
give you virginity to one you really really love. I wish i followed that.
education is the way to success
dont get attatched to this guy, he will break your heart
the thing that sux is that she was right
She wants me to look back if I have more money and keep going if I don't have enough.... LOL!
Before you sleep with a man make sure he buys you a good meal first :)
Just know that if I brought you in the Earth, I sure can take you out of it!!...
';Don't be in a hurry to grow up.';
Man, was she right!
don't sweat the small stuff
always be nice to everyone and smile regardless of how bad things are
dream BIG :]
want to be strong control your anger for god sake
call him
none
He who angers you, rules you.
Help, teen mother, need advice!!??
i am a teen momma to be, and i need a little bit of advice, i am 7 months along, and i dont know what to do to prepare for my baby and i dont know how to prepare for anything realy. i need advice and can some one tell me how they got started on there new life with a baby and how they prepared for it? pleaseHelp, teen mother, need advice!!??
You should go down to the library and get the books called
';What to Expect When Your Expecting';
Then there are other books usually next to that book about infancy, then toddler years, preschoolers ect.
Talk with your parents about it too.
Oh and obviously you will need to start prepping the nursery. Or get a crib if your baby is just going to be next to your bed.
Clothes. Diapers. If your planning on pumping, then a pump. If your breastfeeding then you should research that. Bottles if you decide to bottle-feed.
You can also go to a local mommy and me class and talk to some of the other mothers there. I am sure they will be more than happy to help.Help, teen mother, need advice!!??
Diapers, wipes, crib, crib set, a few extra crib sheets, a swing, clothes, formula and bottles (if you decide to bottle feed), blankets, car seat
Other than that everything you need is to be prepared. Sleep whenever your baby sleeps (trust everyone on that. I didn't do that and I paid for it in the end LOL) And even more important don't let anyone force you into a decision that you do not want to make, you will only regret it. It is your body, your baby and you that has to live with the outcome. Most areas have some type of pregnancy help center that can help you. The number to the national pregnancy helpline is 800 395 HELP and you can call it 24/7 and they can help.
Good luck, if you need anymore help feel free to email me.
First off, congratulations. I know you'll probably get a lot of grief for being a teen mother, but the fact that you're trying to prepare for this is a sign that you're taking it seriously and aren't going to just try to pass the baby off to the grandparents. Is there a Birthright Center near you? If so, they'll be able to help you with certain necessities like formula and diapers, and even baby clothes. It'd be worth looking into. You may hit up some yard sales to find second hand baby things like a swing, crib, and a few other items. Things I would suggest you get new from a store are bottles, car seat, and teething things. I'm sure there are more. Look into any free or cheap parenting classes in your area. Birthright may be able to help you with that. Don't take it as an insult that you might need parenting help, these classes can be so helpful, especially for a first time mother. One of the things I've been told that I believe is ';Sleep when your baby sleeps.'; I think that's the only way you'll get enough rest, because they wake up a lot! If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail me.
Good luck!
well first you might want to look at wot youve got then figure out wot you need.start thea.
You should go down to the library and get the books called
';What to Expect When Your Expecting';
Then there are other books usually next to that book about infancy, then toddler years, preschoolers ect.
Talk with your parents about it too.
Oh and obviously you will need to start prepping the nursery. Or get a crib if your baby is just going to be next to your bed.
Clothes. Diapers. If your planning on pumping, then a pump. If your breastfeeding then you should research that. Bottles if you decide to bottle-feed.
You can also go to a local mommy and me class and talk to some of the other mothers there. I am sure they will be more than happy to help.Help, teen mother, need advice!!??
Diapers, wipes, crib, crib set, a few extra crib sheets, a swing, clothes, formula and bottles (if you decide to bottle feed), blankets, car seat
Other than that everything you need is to be prepared. Sleep whenever your baby sleeps (trust everyone on that. I didn't do that and I paid for it in the end LOL) And even more important don't let anyone force you into a decision that you do not want to make, you will only regret it. It is your body, your baby and you that has to live with the outcome. Most areas have some type of pregnancy help center that can help you. The number to the national pregnancy helpline is 800 395 HELP and you can call it 24/7 and they can help.
Good luck, if you need anymore help feel free to email me.
First off, congratulations. I know you'll probably get a lot of grief for being a teen mother, but the fact that you're trying to prepare for this is a sign that you're taking it seriously and aren't going to just try to pass the baby off to the grandparents. Is there a Birthright Center near you? If so, they'll be able to help you with certain necessities like formula and diapers, and even baby clothes. It'd be worth looking into. You may hit up some yard sales to find second hand baby things like a swing, crib, and a few other items. Things I would suggest you get new from a store are bottles, car seat, and teething things. I'm sure there are more. Look into any free or cheap parenting classes in your area. Birthright may be able to help you with that. Don't take it as an insult that you might need parenting help, these classes can be so helpful, especially for a first time mother. One of the things I've been told that I believe is ';Sleep when your baby sleeps.'; I think that's the only way you'll get enough rest, because they wake up a lot! If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail me.
Good luck!
well first you might want to look at wot youve got then figure out wot you need.start thea.
Made to feel guilty by Mother? Any advice would be good...........?
My mum lives 2 hours away from me. Nothing bad with that but she is partly disabled but fiercly independant. She is losing her sight in one eye and is horrendously lonely following a nasty and unexpected divorce form my stepfather. the thing is, 90% of the family (my aunts and cousins, my sister) etc all live near by and have daily contact. I however, call once maybe twice a week. This is where the problem lies. I offer to move back home and look after her but she refuses and says she can manage but in another breath she makes me feel really bad for not going to see her every free moment I have. I am a busy manager of a large security company and sometimes dont get days off for weeks but when I do I always go and see her. Its really starting to get me down and I am feeling guilty for making a success with my career away from my ';hometown';. Dont get me wrong I love her dearly and if she needed me I would be there. I have tried talking to her but she says I am Imagining it all......help?Made to feel guilty by Mother? Any advice would be good...........?
This may sound rude, but I swear my intentions are sterling: You sound like a mama's boy.
You obviously have a lot of compassion and are a decent person. Problem is, people, including family, often take advantage of decent people. Here's a question to ask yourself as an adult male who deserves independence:
Would you rather feel guilty, or resentful (for now)? Choose one.
Your mother has people, resources. She is not your child, she is your mother. You WILL feel guilty at first for not giving in to her neediness. Your other alternative is to give in to her manipulations and get more and more resentful.
When faced with guilt or resentment, generally you should choose to feel guilt. I say, do what you must for yourself and/or your own family.
One final thing: The more you give in to her, the more used to being a mama's boy you become. The less you give in, the more you respect yourself, the more of an authentic adult you become, and as a bonus the guilt will dissipate (over time).
Learn to say ';no'; without apologizing. You can still see her once in a while, but you can also write her letters, send her cards, and phone her at times.Made to feel guilty by Mother? Any advice would be good...........?
If your mom's needs are met, then your next priority is you and your family. Definately help he r any way you can and make shure she has what she needs but don't damage your viability because she wants to see you an unreasonable amount. Some parents NEVER see their children. She can handle seeing you only once every few weeks.
You best gift to her is to be happy and successful in your own life.
You do not appear to have a lack of love for your Mother...your heart seems to be in the right place. Just express to her that you are there for her, if she ever needs you for anything. Take her out to a restaurant sometime, when you get a chance. That is all anyone could ever ask. Ask yourself where all your ';guilt'; is coming
from...your Mom will be fine.
You need to relax a little bit. Your mom is dealing with a lot of stuff including losing that independence she so values. What is probably happening is that what she is conveying to you at times is out of frustration. You need to be involved in plans to take care of her in the future but realize that until she absolutely must she won't give up her independence. For now just let her do her venting and don't take it so personal.
if you can move your whole life you can visit (all the time).
blah , blah , blah.....
gotta love old people.
they have a way of making us feel soooo guilty, don't they?
It is very nice that you want to be with her but you got to understand to she want to be by herself if she get worst maybe you can save so when she need you she can be with her.Lots of time when people get sick they want to do as much as they can their self.
THE ELDERLY WANT IT ALL THEIR WAY AND ARE GOOD AT THE GUILT TRIP THING, BUT ITS A PATH WE WILL ALL TAKE IF WE LIVE TO BE OLD.
You need to get on with your life, your mums probably pleased that your career minded. Let her know that you want to spend time with her and that any chance you get you go and see her. You've offered to move back thats all you can do. Don't worry though you obviously love your mum and she loves you, as long as you've got love ;-)
Being in a very simular situation myself, over time I have discovered it is what mothers do.
You said that she is partly disabled and fiercly independant, there may be a little confliction there within her self ';needing a little help from time to time and not facing it?';
Also if you didnt care you wouldnt have written that question. and as mothers go she will know that love her and would be there at a moments notice if need be..
Hey I know saying don't feel that way is easier said then done but it's part of living away ,it's not a all bad thing to feel bad because your not there but don't let it take you over because believe me if you was there it would be something else, for one that's her way of getting your attention and being sure she is on your mind. ask your other brothers and sisters, and if they talk to her they will tell you that she is making them feel bad about something too. I think it just comes with the inscurities that she has in her old age. If it got right down to it,if you did quite and come home to take care of her she would feel guilty and that would cause more hard feelings between you. Save up some vacation time and go home for a long vist with the understanding that you are leaving on ? day stick to it no matter want and u will be glad for the vist and glad to get home. I travel and only get home about every 2 months and my mother lives in my house and she was always telling me how bad she wanted me there until i came home and she thought i was going to stay and then she changed her story after about 2months of me everyday ! Yes she is lonely think about getting her in a program that will allow her to see people and if she can't come out have them come in check with health department and /or local church group and she will not have so much empty time. She loves you but don't throw your like down the drain.She will still love you.
Guilt is a signal your behaviors are not in alignment with your beliefs.
It is natural because it tells us to ';take a look';.
So what are your beliefs about this situation... list them
I'm busy
Success is important
I love my mom
I see her enough (or not enough)
Your behavior is you visit when you can.
Okay now visits are a choice and you want to make working ones. Working means: ';enhances your life and the ones around you';.
So by visiting you are enhancing both you and your mom's lives (quality visits I presume). GREAT
So by being away you are enhancing your life with work and things that recharge you (you need breaks too). GREAT.
Any problems matching those two?
Now feeling guilty is also a choice. She says you're imagining it. You still feel guilty. No one can MAKE you feel - it is YOUR CHOICE - own it!
She is trying to help you make a working choice FOR you!
My advice: Get over it. You are in alignment with your beliefs EXCEPT you feel guilty...
Make a new choice. And next time you visit make it special.
It sounds to me that ur mom wants you to move back home but dosn't want to directly tell you, I would tell her the same thing you told me and tell her your really confused and don't know what to do. Or simply try to take more time off work and try to c her. If she has realation down were she lives why don't you have a little chat with them and ask if they could help... Just try not to focus ur whole life around her, you are an adult and you need you time!
This may sound rude, but I swear my intentions are sterling: You sound like a mama's boy.
You obviously have a lot of compassion and are a decent person. Problem is, people, including family, often take advantage of decent people. Here's a question to ask yourself as an adult male who deserves independence:
Would you rather feel guilty, or resentful (for now)? Choose one.
Your mother has people, resources. She is not your child, she is your mother. You WILL feel guilty at first for not giving in to her neediness. Your other alternative is to give in to her manipulations and get more and more resentful.
When faced with guilt or resentment, generally you should choose to feel guilt. I say, do what you must for yourself and/or your own family.
One final thing: The more you give in to her, the more used to being a mama's boy you become. The less you give in, the more you respect yourself, the more of an authentic adult you become, and as a bonus the guilt will dissipate (over time).
Learn to say ';no'; without apologizing. You can still see her once in a while, but you can also write her letters, send her cards, and phone her at times.Made to feel guilty by Mother? Any advice would be good...........?
If your mom's needs are met, then your next priority is you and your family. Definately help he r any way you can and make shure she has what she needs but don't damage your viability because she wants to see you an unreasonable amount. Some parents NEVER see their children. She can handle seeing you only once every few weeks.
You best gift to her is to be happy and successful in your own life.
You do not appear to have a lack of love for your Mother...your heart seems to be in the right place. Just express to her that you are there for her, if she ever needs you for anything. Take her out to a restaurant sometime, when you get a chance. That is all anyone could ever ask. Ask yourself where all your ';guilt'; is coming
from...your Mom will be fine.
You need to relax a little bit. Your mom is dealing with a lot of stuff including losing that independence she so values. What is probably happening is that what she is conveying to you at times is out of frustration. You need to be involved in plans to take care of her in the future but realize that until she absolutely must she won't give up her independence. For now just let her do her venting and don't take it so personal.
if you can move your whole life you can visit (all the time).
blah , blah , blah.....
gotta love old people.
they have a way of making us feel soooo guilty, don't they?
It is very nice that you want to be with her but you got to understand to she want to be by herself if she get worst maybe you can save so when she need you she can be with her.Lots of time when people get sick they want to do as much as they can their self.
THE ELDERLY WANT IT ALL THEIR WAY AND ARE GOOD AT THE GUILT TRIP THING, BUT ITS A PATH WE WILL ALL TAKE IF WE LIVE TO BE OLD.
You need to get on with your life, your mums probably pleased that your career minded. Let her know that you want to spend time with her and that any chance you get you go and see her. You've offered to move back thats all you can do. Don't worry though you obviously love your mum and she loves you, as long as you've got love ;-)
Being in a very simular situation myself, over time I have discovered it is what mothers do.
You said that she is partly disabled and fiercly independant, there may be a little confliction there within her self ';needing a little help from time to time and not facing it?';
Also if you didnt care you wouldnt have written that question. and as mothers go she will know that love her and would be there at a moments notice if need be..
Hey I know saying don't feel that way is easier said then done but it's part of living away ,it's not a all bad thing to feel bad because your not there but don't let it take you over because believe me if you was there it would be something else, for one that's her way of getting your attention and being sure she is on your mind. ask your other brothers and sisters, and if they talk to her they will tell you that she is making them feel bad about something too. I think it just comes with the inscurities that she has in her old age. If it got right down to it,if you did quite and come home to take care of her she would feel guilty and that would cause more hard feelings between you. Save up some vacation time and go home for a long vist with the understanding that you are leaving on ? day stick to it no matter want and u will be glad for the vist and glad to get home. I travel and only get home about every 2 months and my mother lives in my house and she was always telling me how bad she wanted me there until i came home and she thought i was going to stay and then she changed her story after about 2months of me everyday ! Yes she is lonely think about getting her in a program that will allow her to see people and if she can't come out have them come in check with health department and /or local church group and she will not have so much empty time. She loves you but don't throw your like down the drain.She will still love you.
Guilt is a signal your behaviors are not in alignment with your beliefs.
It is natural because it tells us to ';take a look';.
So what are your beliefs about this situation... list them
I'm busy
Success is important
I love my mom
I see her enough (or not enough)
Your behavior is you visit when you can.
Okay now visits are a choice and you want to make working ones. Working means: ';enhances your life and the ones around you';.
So by visiting you are enhancing both you and your mom's lives (quality visits I presume). GREAT
So by being away you are enhancing your life with work and things that recharge you (you need breaks too). GREAT.
Any problems matching those two?
Now feeling guilty is also a choice. She says you're imagining it. You still feel guilty. No one can MAKE you feel - it is YOUR CHOICE - own it!
She is trying to help you make a working choice FOR you!
My advice: Get over it. You are in alignment with your beliefs EXCEPT you feel guilty...
Make a new choice. And next time you visit make it special.
It sounds to me that ur mom wants you to move back home but dosn't want to directly tell you, I would tell her the same thing you told me and tell her your really confused and don't know what to do. Or simply try to take more time off work and try to c her. If she has realation down were she lives why don't you have a little chat with them and ask if they could help... Just try not to focus ur whole life around her, you are an adult and you need you time!
What advice about love and marriage did your mother give you when you were young?
LOL, it is just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man!
Missing mother...need advice?
2 years ago my mother finally divorced my dad after 35 years of abuse. He still bothers her and she had to get a restraining order. About 4 weeks ago I couldn't get an answer when I called and a few day later we recieved a short note telling us she was going on vacation with a friend. After 2 weeks I contacted my 5 siblings and uncles (she lives next door to her brothers) to find out what they knew. Nobody knows where she is or who she is with. 2 weeks ago she left a message on my machine saying she was having a good time but she wouldn't tell us where she is or who she is with. My mother is a person that calls her children all the time and has pets that she hates to leave. We have checked and my dad is still in town. Today my brother called and said that my uncles want us to file a missing person report. We all live in different states and this makes communicating difficult. Should we wait awhile and hope she shows up somewhere or should we go to the police?Missing mother...need advice?
I would go to the police. You have nothing to lose by doing that. It is very cruel and neglectful of her if she is just enjoying herself somewhere and won't tell anyone where she is. I hope she turns up very soon.Missing mother...need advice?
I hope she comes back soon.
If you are In Australia what you are saying is scary. Your father may be holding her against her will. He may have also made her phone you. Call the police it will help. The police will make further enquires and they will talk to your father. Also when you hear from your mother again tell her you have spoken and filed a missing person report. She may then tell you where she is. Also advise the phone company they may be able to keep a record of incoming calls and where they have originated from.
Is one of her brothers getting her mail? Can he see where credit card charges are coming from?...or ATM withdrawal fees?
I'd try to file the missing person's report.
THAT'S SCARY. I think you should file a report.
since she is so close to you and usually has more contact with you, I would be real worried.File the report, but your uncles should too because they live next to her.Who is taking care of the animals?Someone is or somethings up.
File a mission persons report. Do it now.
If it were my mom, I would get a private investigator on the case ASAP.
That is a really tough one... I'd be tempted to file the missing person report. It's a lot better to have filed the report and then find out that nothing's wrong and she's back home than (god forbid) the alternative. I'd check with some of her friends, people she works with... Have any of them had contact with her? I'd even possibly call police in her home town for advise-- maybe not to file report officially, but just to let them know about the situation at least.... Good luck to you and your family!
i think id do the same in your position....if it sounds fishy its probably because it is
i hope you find your mom safe and sound
If I were you I would contact the police.
I would go to the police. You have nothing to lose by doing that. It is very cruel and neglectful of her if she is just enjoying herself somewhere and won't tell anyone where she is. I hope she turns up very soon.Missing mother...need advice?
I hope she comes back soon.
Report Abuse
If you are In Australia what you are saying is scary. Your father may be holding her against her will. He may have also made her phone you. Call the police it will help. The police will make further enquires and they will talk to your father. Also when you hear from your mother again tell her you have spoken and filed a missing person report. She may then tell you where she is. Also advise the phone company they may be able to keep a record of incoming calls and where they have originated from.
Is one of her brothers getting her mail? Can he see where credit card charges are coming from?...or ATM withdrawal fees?
I'd try to file the missing person's report.
THAT'S SCARY. I think you should file a report.
since she is so close to you and usually has more contact with you, I would be real worried.File the report, but your uncles should too because they live next to her.Who is taking care of the animals?Someone is or somethings up.
File a mission persons report. Do it now.
If it were my mom, I would get a private investigator on the case ASAP.
That is a really tough one... I'd be tempted to file the missing person report. It's a lot better to have filed the report and then find out that nothing's wrong and she's back home than (god forbid) the alternative. I'd check with some of her friends, people she works with... Have any of them had contact with her? I'd even possibly call police in her home town for advise-- maybe not to file report officially, but just to let them know about the situation at least.... Good luck to you and your family!
i think id do the same in your position....if it sounds fishy its probably because it is
i hope you find your mom safe and sound
If I were you I would contact the police.
I have two small children and am soon to be a SINGLE MOTHER....and advice:(?
I admire all you single moms out there...I always have! You all have so much strength. I hope I find that in myself too.I have two small children and am soon to be a SINGLE MOTHER....and advice:(?
';My advice to all of you is NEVER trust anyone to take care of you...make sure you could always take care of yourself if You needed too!!!'; Excellent advice. Even in the best of marriages/relationships things happen that can depelete the security of that relationship, an untimely death, an accident that leaves the ';breadwinner'; unable to work. It is always best for the partner to at least have something to ';fall back on'; just in case. Which is why I often advise young wives/mothers to at least work part time even if they don't need the money. It keeps them out in the workforce and gives them work expierence.
Also make a list of everything a wife/mother does. Those are viable skills to bring to the table. Time management and critical decision making is invovled in running a family, you have those skills. Handling major and minor issues as they come up is also a marketable skill. Don't sell yourself short. When you fill out a resume' or application for employment/interviews and are asked about your time out of the work force list raising a family and having to use those skills on a daily basis. You have the strength you just need to know how to use it.
One suggestion go to a local women's center or your unemployment office and gather up information on marketing yourself to prospective employers. It can help a lot.I have two small children and am soon to be a SINGLE MOTHER....and advice:(?
Well, you aren't going to be a single mother, you will be a divorced mother - there is a big difference there.
And your advice at the end is exactly right for all women - that's also why a woman should be mature enough when she is choosing a man to marry, and to have children with - to make sure she had a man of good character to have a lifelong marriage with, not being with him a while, then ruining the kids' lives by ripping them away from their father and the true family they need and deserve.
Just hang in there! You will have your weak moments, but they will make you stronger in the long run! Remember everything you do is for the kids and that will keep you smiling.
yup, thats about all the advice i can give you, learn to take care of yourself
I'm not a mom, nor am I female, but I am a son (one of 4) that she got. I'm 17 years old. She is single now, ever sense April 20th, not long ago at all, and I'll tell you, just by watching and listening to her through all of this, it's tough. It will take money, so hopefully you have a good job and a good place to stay, which I'm sure you do.
I'm sure if my mom wasn't at work, and she saw this, she could pour herself out on things that could help you.
I never really knew my dad. I mean a I saw him maybe a few times before. Maybe come in really late at night, and a few times in the mourning, but other then that, I don't know who he is. So, I hope you have a good job, a sturdy home for you and your kids, family members and freinds too that could back you up. It's tough, but you can do it. You kids will see that. Manys blessings and streangth to you.
I hope I was some help to you.
~Josh~
Look, when my mom had my brothers long ago, her husband drank and was abusive. She left him and was on her own for about 10 or 15 years. She married my Dad and presto a year later I was born. Thank you Mom for having me. She's 80 now and said that when she got a divorce it was like a weight was taken from her back. She never looked back. I would encourage you to do the same. Take Care.
';My advice to all of you is NEVER trust anyone to take care of you...make sure you could always take care of yourself if You needed too!!!'; Excellent advice. Even in the best of marriages/relationships things happen that can depelete the security of that relationship, an untimely death, an accident that leaves the ';breadwinner'; unable to work. It is always best for the partner to at least have something to ';fall back on'; just in case. Which is why I often advise young wives/mothers to at least work part time even if they don't need the money. It keeps them out in the workforce and gives them work expierence.
Also make a list of everything a wife/mother does. Those are viable skills to bring to the table. Time management and critical decision making is invovled in running a family, you have those skills. Handling major and minor issues as they come up is also a marketable skill. Don't sell yourself short. When you fill out a resume' or application for employment/interviews and are asked about your time out of the work force list raising a family and having to use those skills on a daily basis. You have the strength you just need to know how to use it.
One suggestion go to a local women's center or your unemployment office and gather up information on marketing yourself to prospective employers. It can help a lot.I have two small children and am soon to be a SINGLE MOTHER....and advice:(?
Well, you aren't going to be a single mother, you will be a divorced mother - there is a big difference there.
And your advice at the end is exactly right for all women - that's also why a woman should be mature enough when she is choosing a man to marry, and to have children with - to make sure she had a man of good character to have a lifelong marriage with, not being with him a while, then ruining the kids' lives by ripping them away from their father and the true family they need and deserve.
Just hang in there! You will have your weak moments, but they will make you stronger in the long run! Remember everything you do is for the kids and that will keep you smiling.
yup, thats about all the advice i can give you, learn to take care of yourself
I'm not a mom, nor am I female, but I am a son (one of 4) that she got. I'm 17 years old. She is single now, ever sense April 20th, not long ago at all, and I'll tell you, just by watching and listening to her through all of this, it's tough. It will take money, so hopefully you have a good job and a good place to stay, which I'm sure you do.
I'm sure if my mom wasn't at work, and she saw this, she could pour herself out on things that could help you.
I never really knew my dad. I mean a I saw him maybe a few times before. Maybe come in really late at night, and a few times in the mourning, but other then that, I don't know who he is. So, I hope you have a good job, a sturdy home for you and your kids, family members and freinds too that could back you up. It's tough, but you can do it. You kids will see that. Manys blessings and streangth to you.
I hope I was some help to you.
~Josh~
Look, when my mom had my brothers long ago, her husband drank and was abusive. She left him and was on her own for about 10 or 15 years. She married my Dad and presto a year later I was born. Thank you Mom for having me. She's 80 now and said that when she got a divorce it was like a weight was taken from her back. She never looked back. I would encourage you to do the same. Take Care.
A mother needing advice?
Do other mothers out there feel that it is hard to sympathize with their son after he has taken a shot to the ';family jewels';? especially if he his around 15-18 range. and their is no father in the picture. what is a mother supposed to say or do, I just find it a little awkward I guess. any mothers have experience in this area? if so what happened?A mother needing advice?
Im taking a wild guess here, he got kicked in the jewels?
I dunno, being the same age myself. It wouldn't bother me much not hearing anything from my mother, but hearing an ';are you ok?'; would make things better, its not like he expects you to know what its like.
Haha i have a feeling i didn't understand the question one bit
Sorry if thats trueA mother needing advice?
Dear mom,sometimes just being there and listening is all they need.If the situation doesn't call for a direct ';I'm sorry that happened.';Just reassure him that you love him and even if he causes his own pain,your lack of sympathy shouldn't reflect your love for him.We will always feel bad when our kids get hurt,but sometimes the hardest job we have is watching it and not being able to stop it.I have tow teen boys myself and I dread some of the things to come.But I will support them in every way I can and no matter how old they get and how annoyed you get at them your heart will always sympathize with them even though your Gut is telling you to feel something else.Good luck and tell you son if he treats woman with respect he wouldn't take so many shots.Remember,we can't change the make up of their anatomy,all we can do is try to steer them in the right direction and Pray for them the rest of the way.From one mom to another,Don't give up and in my opinion,the kids who don't have fathers around grow up to remember how loving their mother was and they turn out o.k..Just pray for him.God bless.
Not a problem at all sympathizing with my sons, then again I know what it feels like ... haven't you ever slipped off a bike seat and hit the bar?? My gosh that HURTS... so yeah, I can sympathize no problem!detox cleansing
Im taking a wild guess here, he got kicked in the jewels?
I dunno, being the same age myself. It wouldn't bother me much not hearing anything from my mother, but hearing an ';are you ok?'; would make things better, its not like he expects you to know what its like.
Haha i have a feeling i didn't understand the question one bit
Sorry if thats trueA mother needing advice?
Dear mom,sometimes just being there and listening is all they need.If the situation doesn't call for a direct ';I'm sorry that happened.';Just reassure him that you love him and even if he causes his own pain,your lack of sympathy shouldn't reflect your love for him.We will always feel bad when our kids get hurt,but sometimes the hardest job we have is watching it and not being able to stop it.I have tow teen boys myself and I dread some of the things to come.But I will support them in every way I can and no matter how old they get and how annoyed you get at them your heart will always sympathize with them even though your Gut is telling you to feel something else.Good luck and tell you son if he treats woman with respect he wouldn't take so many shots.Remember,we can't change the make up of their anatomy,all we can do is try to steer them in the right direction and Pray for them the rest of the way.From one mom to another,Don't give up and in my opinion,the kids who don't have fathers around grow up to remember how loving their mother was and they turn out o.k..Just pray for him.God bless.
Not a problem at all sympathizing with my sons, then again I know what it feels like ... haven't you ever slipped off a bike seat and hit the bar?? My gosh that HURTS... so yeah, I can sympathize no problem!
Advice: Mother of a child that just got diagnosed with cancer need advice on how to raise a child with cancer?
She's 15 and they diagnosed her with a very bad form of liver cancer and said the odds do not look good if they do not start aggressive treatment. Tomorrow they are shipping us out to a children hospital 3 hours away, Her dad is a cournal in the air force and is flying back right away in two days. He it torn to pieces as well as I am too. I need advice on how to act around my daughter with cancer and help her not be so scared but it's hard because I am terrified. She is very popular and social and always is out and I don't know how she will handle being in the hospiital because they said she will be in there for awhile. So how do I help her out and tell her this is best for her and that she is going to be ok. I'm so upset. I need advice on how to raise a teenager with cancer.Advice: Mother of a child that just got diagnosed with cancer need advice on how to raise a child with cancer?
You raise her the best way you know how.
Her life is going to be put on hold, so approach it that way. She has to go to doctors and hospitals and treatments and God knows what else. Just be with her as much as you can, love her as much as you can, don't let her get sassy with you when she feels likeshit, and just do your best.
And respect her wishes. Liver cancer is a tough one....there is no set chart on this course that you and your family have to endure. Take each moment as it comes and live it.
My thoughts are with you.Advice: Mother of a child that just got diagnosed with cancer need advice on how to raise a child with cancer?
turn to God
I want to let you know, and this may come across as good or bad, but odds literally don't mean anything. There is always that chance she could be on the winning side, or the losing side. My cousin had one in a million odds of surviving liver cancer and he lived. My husband's nephew had a 9/10 chance of living and died. Odds that doctors give, you can't let them bring you down.
I have never had this situation. I am sure that if you educate yourself and your daughter, she will come to terms too, that now is about survival, not social time. Perhaps, if she doesn't already have one, get a texting plan on her phone so she can stay in touch with friends.
Here is a link to sources you might need :
http://www.cancer.ca/Ontario/Support%20S鈥?/a>
Best of luck, you're in my prayers
I'm only 18 and have family members live and die with cancer...
The way I would want my mother to handle it is probably to know that she cares and is concerned, but not be too overbearing. Teenagers can think the wrong thing. If you pull away too much she will think that you don't care, if you are too clingy and sad she will get upset and maybe rebel a little.
Be strong for her. Let her know that you are there for her and ask her how she is doing every once in a while. Let her know that if she needs anything she can come to you. A teddy bear is always a nice gesture. She is vulnerable right now, like she was when she was a child. This will remind her of her childhood and happier times and at the same time she will know that you are always there and want her to be comfortable.
Don't tell her that she will be okay, I'm sorry to say this at such a difficult time, but, you don't know that. False hope won't make anyone feel better. Try instead to tell her that you love her and that you will be waiting for her when she gets out (whether she is gone for days without you, or is just going to another room for chemo).
Let her know that you are sad, but try not to cry too much. It sounds like she has already had a very happy life and if for some reason things don't turn out as planned, you don't want yours or her last memory of each other to be while crying. Be strong for her and I send you my wishes.
If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to email me.
Emmiemae08@yahoo.com
I'm sorry. I was a Big Brother mentor and one of the kids i mentored was sick with cancer as well. I also adopted a boy who's back was all misaligned and had to go through several surgeries so i know the pain of having to watch kids in pain its awful. You need to stay positive you have to as hard as it is. Its the most important thing. And concentrating on that will help you deal. She is old enough to understand whats going on, and shes also at the point she wants to enjoy her teen years. Try to fill them in by listening to music with her during treatments, reading magazines with her, just help distract her a little but also show her you are open to talking about this. Its going to be a long journey but its not a death sentence. I actually had stomach cancer and i got through it. My friends came over and we kinda kept it light snuk in beer for me LOL, (dont do that though), the nurses would complain we were too loud cause it would be like a party in there. Talk to other patients too they can help. The medications and everything will be the toughest thing, please try to not lose your sense of humor either, i know that sounds hard but you gotta keep it happy for her. i'm sorry to hear about that.
Remain strong. Keep things as normal as possible with your daughter. Also, ask your daughter's doctor if there are any support groups you can attend where you can talk with other parents. Your daughter will meet other children in the hospital who can help support her during this difficult time.
Since you mention that she is social, make sure your daughter's friends get the address of the hospital she is staying at so they can write her letters. Hearing from her friends will cheer her up. If your daughter is willing, offer to drive a few of her friends to the hospital to see her. Doing small things, like bringing her a batch of her favorite cookies, will also cheer her up.
You raise her the best way you know how.
Her life is going to be put on hold, so approach it that way. She has to go to doctors and hospitals and treatments and God knows what else. Just be with her as much as you can, love her as much as you can, don't let her get sassy with you when she feels likeshit, and just do your best.
And respect her wishes. Liver cancer is a tough one....there is no set chart on this course that you and your family have to endure. Take each moment as it comes and live it.
My thoughts are with you.Advice: Mother of a child that just got diagnosed with cancer need advice on how to raise a child with cancer?
turn to God
I want to let you know, and this may come across as good or bad, but odds literally don't mean anything. There is always that chance she could be on the winning side, or the losing side. My cousin had one in a million odds of surviving liver cancer and he lived. My husband's nephew had a 9/10 chance of living and died. Odds that doctors give, you can't let them bring you down.
I have never had this situation. I am sure that if you educate yourself and your daughter, she will come to terms too, that now is about survival, not social time. Perhaps, if she doesn't already have one, get a texting plan on her phone so she can stay in touch with friends.
Here is a link to sources you might need :
http://www.cancer.ca/Ontario/Support%20S鈥?/a>
Best of luck, you're in my prayers
I'm only 18 and have family members live and die with cancer...
The way I would want my mother to handle it is probably to know that she cares and is concerned, but not be too overbearing. Teenagers can think the wrong thing. If you pull away too much she will think that you don't care, if you are too clingy and sad she will get upset and maybe rebel a little.
Be strong for her. Let her know that you are there for her and ask her how she is doing every once in a while. Let her know that if she needs anything she can come to you. A teddy bear is always a nice gesture. She is vulnerable right now, like she was when she was a child. This will remind her of her childhood and happier times and at the same time she will know that you are always there and want her to be comfortable.
Don't tell her that she will be okay, I'm sorry to say this at such a difficult time, but, you don't know that. False hope won't make anyone feel better. Try instead to tell her that you love her and that you will be waiting for her when she gets out (whether she is gone for days without you, or is just going to another room for chemo).
Let her know that you are sad, but try not to cry too much. It sounds like she has already had a very happy life and if for some reason things don't turn out as planned, you don't want yours or her last memory of each other to be while crying. Be strong for her and I send you my wishes.
If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to email me.
Emmiemae08@yahoo.com
I'm sorry. I was a Big Brother mentor and one of the kids i mentored was sick with cancer as well. I also adopted a boy who's back was all misaligned and had to go through several surgeries so i know the pain of having to watch kids in pain its awful. You need to stay positive you have to as hard as it is. Its the most important thing. And concentrating on that will help you deal. She is old enough to understand whats going on, and shes also at the point she wants to enjoy her teen years. Try to fill them in by listening to music with her during treatments, reading magazines with her, just help distract her a little but also show her you are open to talking about this. Its going to be a long journey but its not a death sentence. I actually had stomach cancer and i got through it. My friends came over and we kinda kept it light snuk in beer for me LOL, (dont do that though), the nurses would complain we were too loud cause it would be like a party in there. Talk to other patients too they can help. The medications and everything will be the toughest thing, please try to not lose your sense of humor either, i know that sounds hard but you gotta keep it happy for her. i'm sorry to hear about that.
Remain strong. Keep things as normal as possible with your daughter. Also, ask your daughter's doctor if there are any support groups you can attend where you can talk with other parents. Your daughter will meet other children in the hospital who can help support her during this difficult time.
Since you mention that she is social, make sure your daughter's friends get the address of the hospital she is staying at so they can write her letters. Hearing from her friends will cheer her up. If your daughter is willing, offer to drive a few of her friends to the hospital to see her. Doing small things, like bringing her a batch of her favorite cookies, will also cheer her up.
Advice: Mother of a child that just got diagnosed with cancer need advice on how to raise a child with cancer?
She's 15 and they diagnosed her with a very bad form of liver cancer and said the odds do not look good if they do not start aggressive treatment. Tomorrow they are shipping us out to a children hospital 3 hours away, Her dad is a cournal in the air force and is flying back right away in two days. He it torn to pieces as well as I am too. I need advice on how to act around my daughter with cancer and help her not be so scared but it's hard because I am terrified. She is very popular and social and always is out and I don't know how she will handle being in the hospiital because they said she will be in there for awhile. So how do I help her out and tell her this is best for her and that she is going to be ok. I'm so upset. I need advice on how to raise a teenager with cancer.Advice: Mother of a child that just got diagnosed with cancer need advice on how to raise a child with cancer?
I have to ask this. Is her cancer localized only in the liver? Can she get a transplant? Most important, I am so very sorry to hear about this. How is your daughter taking all this. That's what will help. If she wants to continue to do things, support her. Explain to her about her hospital stay. Tell her what they will do for her. Don't treat her any differently now than you did before. I know, things are not the same, but if you start acting different toward her than you did before she was diagnosed, she's going to start thinking about her mortality. Pray with her, Pray when she's not around too. Prayer is your most important tool right now. Make sure her freinds visit her in the hospital and even bring her homework too. She knows something is wrong, but you don't want to make it worse by crying in front of her or acting very sorrowful. This will make her feel worse. Let her wear her own PJs in the hospital instead of the old gowns they have. Make that hospital room look like her own room as much as possible. Don't tell her she's going to be OK when you don't know that for sure. Tell her the Drs are doing all they can to help her. When you tell her she's going to be OK and things get worse, (God forbid) she won't trust anything you say after that. You can't make promises that you can't keep. Be honest with her. Read the Bible to learn about Jesus saving grace. I don't know what your religious background is but prayer never hurts. The bottom line is, be there for her, be the mom you've always been, Bring her favorite dish to eat while in the hospital. Let her do whatever activities she's used to doing. Just be the mom she knows and loves. I pray for her health and recovery. God bless all of you.Advice: Mother of a child that just got diagnosed with cancer need advice on how to raise a child with cancer?
Make arrangements for her to take this in a sportive way in hospital
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I am so sorry about this. I will say a special prayer for you all.
I was sick as a child, and I had to stay in the hospital. I remember my parents visited me whenever they could. And they always bought me a little something, like cool slippers, or a cool little shirt to wear.
They showered me with love, and let me know that they will always be there for me, and told me to pray at night.
Now I am an adult (thanks to God) and I am rarely ever sick.
Just keep your head up, pray, show her alot of love, and prepare for the worse but remain as positive as you can.
may God bless you!!
I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 27... also very aggressive and a rare type. It is considered upper digestive cancer (called GIST-gastrointestinal stromal tumor) but it metastasized (spread) to my liver. At first the cancer that went to my liver was just two little spots, the size of a pea. But now, i have many and the biggest one is about the size of a small orange. I was diagnosed 5 years ago and I always have some kind of pain or tiredness issue and sometimes i get really sick, but most of the time i feel well enough to get up and take care of myself, go outside in the sun and take a walk... things like that. I have a ten year old son to take care of, who is healthy. I do wonder sometimes if I will live long enough to see him grow up. But there are new therapies coming out all the time. I have been on 4 different kinds of chemotherapy. One that was actually approved by the FDA almost caused me to lose my life. The side effects were devestating to my body. The doctors had a hard time bringing my heart rate back. The drug was called: Nexavar. But I have heard of many people who had little side effects on that drug and was effective in treating the cancer. My body just didn't like it. I'm on an untested drug right now because they ran out of options for me, except for these ';investigational studies'; so that is what i'm doing. The ';study'; drug has not been harsh to my body and so far has been effective. Anyway...... your daughter just needs your love and support right now. Just be there for her, no matter what, as a parent should do. Personally, I found that a vegan diet is effective for me, but when a person has cancer, one must also be sensitive to how the individual is feeling. Nausea is sometimes a problem, especially when treatment begins, so she might want something different to eat than you are eating, or she may not want to eat at that particular time. Ask your daughter what she may like concerning all parts of life: emotionally, physically, spiritually and try to help her fulfill those needs. This should be done, no matter what, but it is especially important when you get a cancer diagnosis. She may feel helpless or scared. Be open and invite her to talk to you about her feelings. If she feels more comfortable talking to others, maybe of her same age about this, you can talk to her oncologist about a support group with people in it who are dealing with the same thing... or perhaps she'd like to talk to a counselor. Whatever the case, I hope that you all find what works for your family and that everything works out fine.
Hi, i'm sorry about your daughter. i'm 15 as well, and i have cancer, a rare form of leukemia called CML. I've always been really social and stuff, and i now need to spend a lot of time in the hospital also. Once i was in for 7 months almost straight (2 week break inbetween). What always helps me is having lots of stuff from home at the hospital, and talking to my friends online, and when they can it's great when people visit, because it makes everything better. You, and her, need to stay really positive, because that helps a lot. Good luck!
I have to ask this. Is her cancer localized only in the liver? Can she get a transplant? Most important, I am so very sorry to hear about this. How is your daughter taking all this. That's what will help. If she wants to continue to do things, support her. Explain to her about her hospital stay. Tell her what they will do for her. Don't treat her any differently now than you did before. I know, things are not the same, but if you start acting different toward her than you did before she was diagnosed, she's going to start thinking about her mortality. Pray with her, Pray when she's not around too. Prayer is your most important tool right now. Make sure her freinds visit her in the hospital and even bring her homework too. She knows something is wrong, but you don't want to make it worse by crying in front of her or acting very sorrowful. This will make her feel worse. Let her wear her own PJs in the hospital instead of the old gowns they have. Make that hospital room look like her own room as much as possible. Don't tell her she's going to be OK when you don't know that for sure. Tell her the Drs are doing all they can to help her. When you tell her she's going to be OK and things get worse, (God forbid) she won't trust anything you say after that. You can't make promises that you can't keep. Be honest with her. Read the Bible to learn about Jesus saving grace. I don't know what your religious background is but prayer never hurts. The bottom line is, be there for her, be the mom you've always been, Bring her favorite dish to eat while in the hospital. Let her do whatever activities she's used to doing. Just be the mom she knows and loves. I pray for her health and recovery. God bless all of you.Advice: Mother of a child that just got diagnosed with cancer need advice on how to raise a child with cancer?
Make arrangements for her to take this in a sportive way in hospital
-You know that you can write E mail messages to me through this section by clicking the word e mail which is visible if you click my name here to open my profile
I am so sorry about this. I will say a special prayer for you all.
I was sick as a child, and I had to stay in the hospital. I remember my parents visited me whenever they could. And they always bought me a little something, like cool slippers, or a cool little shirt to wear.
They showered me with love, and let me know that they will always be there for me, and told me to pray at night.
Now I am an adult (thanks to God) and I am rarely ever sick.
Just keep your head up, pray, show her alot of love, and prepare for the worse but remain as positive as you can.
may God bless you!!
I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 27... also very aggressive and a rare type. It is considered upper digestive cancer (called GIST-gastrointestinal stromal tumor) but it metastasized (spread) to my liver. At first the cancer that went to my liver was just two little spots, the size of a pea. But now, i have many and the biggest one is about the size of a small orange. I was diagnosed 5 years ago and I always have some kind of pain or tiredness issue and sometimes i get really sick, but most of the time i feel well enough to get up and take care of myself, go outside in the sun and take a walk... things like that. I have a ten year old son to take care of, who is healthy. I do wonder sometimes if I will live long enough to see him grow up. But there are new therapies coming out all the time. I have been on 4 different kinds of chemotherapy. One that was actually approved by the FDA almost caused me to lose my life. The side effects were devestating to my body. The doctors had a hard time bringing my heart rate back. The drug was called: Nexavar. But I have heard of many people who had little side effects on that drug and was effective in treating the cancer. My body just didn't like it. I'm on an untested drug right now because they ran out of options for me, except for these ';investigational studies'; so that is what i'm doing. The ';study'; drug has not been harsh to my body and so far has been effective. Anyway...... your daughter just needs your love and support right now. Just be there for her, no matter what, as a parent should do. Personally, I found that a vegan diet is effective for me, but when a person has cancer, one must also be sensitive to how the individual is feeling. Nausea is sometimes a problem, especially when treatment begins, so she might want something different to eat than you are eating, or she may not want to eat at that particular time. Ask your daughter what she may like concerning all parts of life: emotionally, physically, spiritually and try to help her fulfill those needs. This should be done, no matter what, but it is especially important when you get a cancer diagnosis. She may feel helpless or scared. Be open and invite her to talk to you about her feelings. If she feels more comfortable talking to others, maybe of her same age about this, you can talk to her oncologist about a support group with people in it who are dealing with the same thing... or perhaps she'd like to talk to a counselor. Whatever the case, I hope that you all find what works for your family and that everything works out fine.
Hi, i'm sorry about your daughter. i'm 15 as well, and i have cancer, a rare form of leukemia called CML. I've always been really social and stuff, and i now need to spend a lot of time in the hospital also. Once i was in for 7 months almost straight (2 week break inbetween). What always helps me is having lots of stuff from home at the hospital, and talking to my friends online, and when they can it's great when people visit, because it makes everything better. You, and her, need to stay really positive, because that helps a lot. Good luck!
What's the best advice your mother ever gave you?
YOU HAVE TO TRUST YOURSELFWhat's the best advice your mother ever gave you?
You're alone when you're born and you're alone when you die.
So unless you take care of yourself, nobody else will.
Sad but true...What's the best advice your mother ever gave you?
Stick with my second husband.
To adhere to our family values--
1. Be the best you can be at whatever you do.
2. Join the team and play on it--be an expert team player.
3. Stay true to yourself and your conscience.
4. Plan--3/4 of the operation is preparation.
5. God is in the details (Mies van der Rohe) take care of them.
My mom is among the most brilliant people that ever lived, in my opinion. Her advice has made me completely successful and satisfied with my life.
don't eat the big white mint in the urinals
You Can, You May, %26amp; You Will ---so far it has been right.
When someone breaks your heart into tiny pieces...
look em in the eye and give them the middle finger...
bend down, pick them up and glue them back together...
because one day someone will be worthy of it..
and you dont deserve to be sad because of an @#$hole
My mom was not the advice giver as she loved too much and allowed things to go on w/o complaint. My father gave great wisdom to us. One thing he told us was when you think you have it tough then (metaphorically) gather 5 of your friends around and sit all your problems out on the table, once you see others troubles your sure to gather your own troubles back. You never know what others are struggling with.
Don't push your luck.
to quit my job :D
Don't expect anything from anybody, go and do it yourself!!
You're alone when you're born and you're alone when you die.
So unless you take care of yourself, nobody else will.
Sad but true...What's the best advice your mother ever gave you?
Stick with my second husband.
To adhere to our family values--
1. Be the best you can be at whatever you do.
2. Join the team and play on it--be an expert team player.
3. Stay true to yourself and your conscience.
4. Plan--3/4 of the operation is preparation.
5. God is in the details (Mies van der Rohe) take care of them.
My mom is among the most brilliant people that ever lived, in my opinion. Her advice has made me completely successful and satisfied with my life.
don't eat the big white mint in the urinals
You Can, You May, %26amp; You Will ---so far it has been right.
When someone breaks your heart into tiny pieces...
look em in the eye and give them the middle finger...
bend down, pick them up and glue them back together...
because one day someone will be worthy of it..
and you dont deserve to be sad because of an @#$hole
My mom was not the advice giver as she loved too much and allowed things to go on w/o complaint. My father gave great wisdom to us. One thing he told us was when you think you have it tough then (metaphorically) gather 5 of your friends around and sit all your problems out on the table, once you see others troubles your sure to gather your own troubles back. You never know what others are struggling with.
Don't push your luck.
to quit my job :D
Don't expect anything from anybody, go and do it yourself!!
I need advice. Mother of rotten TEENAGER!?
Awhile ago, I could reach back and touch my hair, at the bend in my back, just below the bra strap. I thought, well it's time to do something nice with my hair, so I trimmed the front and sides, and the back needed to be trimmed straight across.
My teenager is having a bad day, and she always takes her anger out on me. I asked her to trim half an inch, but the short story of this is, she took off almost all of it, and it's just below the collarline to my blouse.
Now the front hangs about 10'; longer. She says to me, ';You look better with short hair anyway';, and doesn't understand why I am all cried up and angry.
I am so sick and tired of her taking her rage out on me. She's 15, almost 16, and she has been doing really mean stuff. She shoves me aside (to where I fall over) when I'm in her way and she wants through, instead of asking. She stomps on my feet and says, ';oops'; acting like it's an accident. There are just a lot of mean things. what do I do?I need advice. Mother of rotten TEENAGER!?
if my teen did this to me I would stomp on her foot and tell her opps back and slap her for being a spoiled rotten kid if I did this to my parents as a teen they would have slapped the living daylights out of me you need to stand up to your daughter you are the parent take control and do not accept this harrassmentI need advice. Mother of rotten TEENAGER!?
It's time to step in front and put the dot above the i. You are their mother. make them respect you a little. and also i did a thing that gave good results. I went away for a week and i let them handel themselves.Now my life is peacefull couse they learnd what it means not to have a parent beside them
You're a mother. You just allow your daughter to treat you that way??? If she was my daughter, her lips would be ripped off from her face!!!
put the little brat in her place and show her who is the boss if she keeps it up send her to boot camp. If you do nothing then it is your fault she keeps acting like that.
My teenager is having a bad day, and she always takes her anger out on me. I asked her to trim half an inch, but the short story of this is, she took off almost all of it, and it's just below the collarline to my blouse.
Now the front hangs about 10'; longer. She says to me, ';You look better with short hair anyway';, and doesn't understand why I am all cried up and angry.
I am so sick and tired of her taking her rage out on me. She's 15, almost 16, and she has been doing really mean stuff. She shoves me aside (to where I fall over) when I'm in her way and she wants through, instead of asking. She stomps on my feet and says, ';oops'; acting like it's an accident. There are just a lot of mean things. what do I do?I need advice. Mother of rotten TEENAGER!?
if my teen did this to me I would stomp on her foot and tell her opps back and slap her for being a spoiled rotten kid if I did this to my parents as a teen they would have slapped the living daylights out of me you need to stand up to your daughter you are the parent take control and do not accept this harrassmentI need advice. Mother of rotten TEENAGER!?
It's time to step in front and put the dot above the i. You are their mother. make them respect you a little. and also i did a thing that gave good results. I went away for a week and i let them handel themselves.Now my life is peacefull couse they learnd what it means not to have a parent beside them
You're a mother. You just allow your daughter to treat you that way??? If she was my daughter, her lips would be ripped off from her face!!!
put the little brat in her place and show her who is the boss if she keeps it up send her to boot camp. If you do nothing then it is your fault she keeps acting like that.
A mother needing advice?
Do other mothers out there feel that it is hard to sympathize with their son after he has taken a shot to the ';family jewels';? especially if he his around 15-18 range. and their is no father in the picture. what is a mother supposed to say or do, I just find it a little awkward I guess. any mothers have experience in this area? if so what happened?A mother needing advice?
Giving birth is like a 200 on the 1-10 pain scale, I've heard that its about a 190, its the closest thing a guy can experience to giving birth if hit hard enough.A mother needing advice?
Getting hit in the ';jewels'; as you call it, can be VERY dangerous for young men. My son, at the same age had that happened and one testlicle swelled to the size of an orange. It was purple and blue and was so sore to the touch. We went to the ER and we found out he had TORCHED testicles. That is where either a vein or the Vas Defranse is twisted and can strangulate. This can cause blood poisoning, clotting, leading to castration and even death.
You may feel non-symathetic because of no male in the house, but now that you are better educated, you may do better.
I'm guessing that you won't ask him these questions, so please show this response to him. Being hit or kicked in the testicles can be very serious.
1. Is he experiencing severe pain?
2. Is he having any swelling? If so, put ice in a plastic baggie, then wrap in a wash cloth and apply to the area, and rest on the sofa.
3. He can take a tylenol for the pain, but don't give ibuprofen...don't want any unnecessary bleeding.
If there is bruising, or swelling that doesn't respond to the ice, and rest, he should be seen by a physician.
you need to watch the movie jack *** because your a little outa touch
even if it gets bigger, it doesn't get better,
Giving birth is like a 200 on the 1-10 pain scale, I've heard that its about a 190, its the closest thing a guy can experience to giving birth if hit hard enough.A mother needing advice?
Getting hit in the ';jewels'; as you call it, can be VERY dangerous for young men. My son, at the same age had that happened and one testlicle swelled to the size of an orange. It was purple and blue and was so sore to the touch. We went to the ER and we found out he had TORCHED testicles. That is where either a vein or the Vas Defranse is twisted and can strangulate. This can cause blood poisoning, clotting, leading to castration and even death.
You may feel non-symathetic because of no male in the house, but now that you are better educated, you may do better.
I'm guessing that you won't ask him these questions, so please show this response to him. Being hit or kicked in the testicles can be very serious.
1. Is he experiencing severe pain?
2. Is he having any swelling? If so, put ice in a plastic baggie, then wrap in a wash cloth and apply to the area, and rest on the sofa.
3. He can take a tylenol for the pain, but don't give ibuprofen...don't want any unnecessary bleeding.
If there is bruising, or swelling that doesn't respond to the ice, and rest, he should be seen by a physician.
you need to watch the movie jack *** because your a little outa touch
even if it gets bigger, it doesn't get better,
My husband and I have been separated for several months now. He constantly looks to his mother for advice...?
But here's the problem, she is currently involved with a married man, so I really don't see how she can offer advice to my husband, when she doesn't seem to have any morals herself. Not sure how to handle this type of situation. help!My husband and I have been separated for several months now. He constantly looks to his mother for advice...?
You're separated ... his mother is none of your business .My husband and I have been separated for several months now. He constantly looks to his mother for advice...?
Your question makes no sense, unless he left you. Are you still in love with him??? Why do you care where he gets his advice? What do you expect to do about it? Why don't you focus on what you have control over and let go of the rest.
Why do you care...you have been separated for several months, and you are STILL going on about his family???? Get a grip and get a divorce! What the heck are you waiting on? The only situation you need to handle is YOUR divorce
so what? what do you care? let him do whatever he feels he needs to do, that's how you handle it. stay separated until the divorce...he didn't marry you anyway - his mother did.
Why do you care? You two aren't together. If you don't have kids and the relationship is over, don't talk to him.
Maybe your husband is involved with a married woman you know monkey see monkey dodetox cleansing
You're separated ... his mother is none of your business .My husband and I have been separated for several months now. He constantly looks to his mother for advice...?
Your question makes no sense, unless he left you. Are you still in love with him??? Why do you care where he gets his advice? What do you expect to do about it? Why don't you focus on what you have control over and let go of the rest.
Why do you care...you have been separated for several months, and you are STILL going on about his family???? Get a grip and get a divorce! What the heck are you waiting on? The only situation you need to handle is YOUR divorce
so what? what do you care? let him do whatever he feels he needs to do, that's how you handle it. stay separated until the divorce...he didn't marry you anyway - his mother did.
Why do you care? You two aren't together. If you don't have kids and the relationship is over, don't talk to him.
Maybe your husband is involved with a married woman you know monkey see monkey do
Need some advice about finding a surrogate mother.?
My boyfriend and I want to have a baby. I have no uterus, but I still have my ovaries.Need some advice about finding a surrogate mother.?
there are many sites that offer free adverts for surrogate mothers/intended parents. as a first time surrogate mother, i prefered working with an agency. you do not need to sign up with an agency that is in the same state you reside in. here is a link which names agencies by state, http://www.surromomsonline.com/links/age鈥?/a> .
best of luck.Need some advice about finding a surrogate mother.?
you can go to websites or agencies, you would also ask someone close to you
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
there are many sites that offer free adverts for surrogate mothers/intended parents. as a first time surrogate mother, i prefered working with an agency. you do not need to sign up with an agency that is in the same state you reside in. here is a link which names agencies by state, http://www.surromomsonline.com/links/age鈥?/a> .
best of luck.Need some advice about finding a surrogate mother.?
you can go to websites or agencies, you would also ask someone close to you
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
My mother has had a colostomy bag for the last 5 Years? Advice please!?
She's interested now in speaking to other people in the same situation. Has alsio been widowed for the last 5 years! She's finding it difficult to start any new relationships with what she describes as 'normal people'! Can anyone identify with this and maybe give a bit of reassurance to an absolutely stunning woman! My mother has had a colostomy bag for the last 5 Years? Advice please!?
There are several Ostomy Message boards and chats around the internet if your mum wants to get involved. Many of the people with ostomies on them have met and married the people of their dreams (bowel intact people) and gone on to have families of their own and chatting to them, even via a message board, may help her understand that most people aren't too shallow to reject someone with a bag (I say 'most' because you will always get the occasional idiot who can't see past it - but that's their loss, the vast majority of people don't have a problem with it, they understand that the person is alive and well and able to be with them - they just poop differently).
Good luck.
PS. Remember: ';normal'; is just a cycle on a washing machine.My mother has had a colostomy bag for the last 5 Years? Advice please!?
I think it's great that you are trying to help your mother but loving yourself comes from within. You described her as an absolutely stunning woman. Maybe she should get involved with a widow's group where you live if she hasn't gotten over her grief/mourning. Your mother should call her medical group and ask if there is a cancer support group. She will be able to find the support and encouragement from people who are going through the same thing.
I wish you both well.
Janet Elway has one. She could contact a support group or ask to speak to the ostomy nurse at a hospital if she wants to give talks. Maybe she'll meet a man that has one, too. Some people are just not very compassionate or understanding about these situations.
That would sure be helpful to her. I would call the local hospital. There be a support group for people in her situation. Maybe a retirement community would have a group too.
You're a good daughter. Have her go to Web MD...or Yahoo groups, and meet folks going through the same thing.
oh my i have no idea
There are several Ostomy Message boards and chats around the internet if your mum wants to get involved. Many of the people with ostomies on them have met and married the people of their dreams (bowel intact people) and gone on to have families of their own and chatting to them, even via a message board, may help her understand that most people aren't too shallow to reject someone with a bag (I say 'most' because you will always get the occasional idiot who can't see past it - but that's their loss, the vast majority of people don't have a problem with it, they understand that the person is alive and well and able to be with them - they just poop differently).
Good luck.
PS. Remember: ';normal'; is just a cycle on a washing machine.My mother has had a colostomy bag for the last 5 Years? Advice please!?
I think it's great that you are trying to help your mother but loving yourself comes from within. You described her as an absolutely stunning woman. Maybe she should get involved with a widow's group where you live if she hasn't gotten over her grief/mourning. Your mother should call her medical group and ask if there is a cancer support group. She will be able to find the support and encouragement from people who are going through the same thing.
I wish you both well.
Janet Elway has one. She could contact a support group or ask to speak to the ostomy nurse at a hospital if she wants to give talks. Maybe she'll meet a man that has one, too. Some people are just not very compassionate or understanding about these situations.
That would sure be helpful to her. I would call the local hospital. There be a support group for people in her situation. Maybe a retirement community would have a group too.
You're a good daughter. Have her go to Web MD...or Yahoo groups, and meet folks going through the same thing.
oh my i have no idea
Advice: Mother of a child that just got diagnosed with cancer need advice on how to raise a child with cancer?
She's 15 and they diagnosed her with a very bad form of liver cancer and said the odds do not look good if they do not start aggressive treatment. Tomorrow they are shipping us out to a children hospital 3 hours away, Her dad is a cournal in the air force and is flying back right away in two days. He it torn to pieces as well as I am too. I need advice on how to act around my daughter with cancer and help her not be so scared but it's hard because I am terrified. She is very popular and social and always is out and I don't know how she will handle being in the hospiital because they said she will be in there for awhile. So how do I help her out and tell her this is best for her and that she is going to be ok. I'm so upset. I need advice on how to raise a teenager with cancer.Advice: Mother of a child that just got diagnosed with cancer need advice on how to raise a child with cancer?
That's a bit harsh Molly,at least attempt compassion.........Back to the question..This really isn't the place to find the answer you need,please try calling the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90..I wish you well...............Advice: Mother of a child that just got diagnosed with cancer need advice on how to raise a child with cancer?
Having been through my mother and brother dying of cancer I know you must be hurting alot.All you can do is to love her and pray for her. I am supposing that you are Christians like me. Just keep your faith up and try not to act too scared around her as she will feel your fear. You have my prayers and make sure to keep your faith no matter what.
Act positive around her. Try to make her forget about it. If the odds are not good, then try to help her live her life to the fullest. Give her a lot of attention, and ask her friends if they want to visit her in the hospital. If you act or seem depressed around her, it will maker her depressed to.
I feel like you are a troll. First you would say stage 2, 3 or 4, not ';very bad'; also it is Colonel, if it were your husband you would know how to spell it. Also if your child was diagnosed with Cancer, you would not be on yahoo, you would be with her.
First off I am so Sorry. That is horrible. But tell her not to give up hope. There is support groups for this. Counseling is also an option. But the best thing I can advise you is to pray. The Lord works wonders. Just pray and miracles can happen. I wish you the best of luck.
~ Emily ~
FIRST of all be honest with her about every thing. And let her no you and her father are going to be with her and help her through all of the things she will have to go through. It is ok to tell her your are terrified and her to tell you she is. Her friends will support her all the way to and so will many more people. Just give her your love and understand when the hard times come. But I think you will be surprise
at how will she will be able to handle it. She seem to be that kind of young lady. Who will be more worried about you and her day. God bless you all. I hope she will recover from this.
just act positive around her. Because if you show sadness it will make her sad. When you are happy you will feel stronger and braver. Just act strong.
Wow. I am so sorry for all of this. I really don't know how to raise any child (only 13) If I were you have you friends visit all the time. And make sure she can keep in touch with them like, cell, and this is a wonderful time to buy a laptop! hmmm I guess make sure you treat her the same cause I know if I had cancer I wouldn't want all this pity... although buy her a laptop... laptops are good.
Hope all does well,
A friend of mine found out she had a tumor... well she is fine now... so there is hope! God bless you....
My best friends mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last october. Things looked rough but she's really making progress. You know how on the news you always hear those ';amazing stories';? You HAVE to beleive that your daughter WILL be one of those stories. I pray for my friends mom every night, and shes getting better! I know things are rought but you have to beleive she'll pull through. Tell her you beleive in her, and over all, treat her like you would without the cancer. She may be a little moody at times but she cant help that. its just the meds talking. Tell her everything will be alright. You have one more person rooting for her- me. id love it if you'd keep me posted on her health. I know you dont know me and it might be too personal for you to share, i understand.
You rock, keep rockin! %26lt;3 %26lt;3 %26lt;3 %26lt;3
first of all what a sad situation and i am so sorry to hear it and i do wish we could wave a magic wand and make it disappear.
i think that the very best thing to do is to continue on with life as normal as you possibly can. if all of a sudden you start giving her everything she will be more frightened because she'll get the impression that you don't have much hope.
if you continue on with life as usual then she may feel a little more confident and secure and sweetie that is what you want her to feel - strong and confident that this can be beaten!
of course there are going to be times when she sees you crying, or afraid, and i think its important that you share those moments with her. let her know that it is perfectly natural to be afraid and that both of you can share not only the fear but courage, faith and humour as well.
and if you ever need to just talk to someone, to share your private fear and thoughts with - i'm here - just send me a message - sometimes its easier to e-chat with a stranger than to let your loved ones know how scared you really are.
good luck to you and god bless..............
That's a bit harsh Molly,at least attempt compassion.........Back to the question..This really isn't the place to find the answer you need,please try calling the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90..I wish you well...............Advice: Mother of a child that just got diagnosed with cancer need advice on how to raise a child with cancer?
Having been through my mother and brother dying of cancer I know you must be hurting alot.All you can do is to love her and pray for her. I am supposing that you are Christians like me. Just keep your faith up and try not to act too scared around her as she will feel your fear. You have my prayers and make sure to keep your faith no matter what.
Act positive around her. Try to make her forget about it. If the odds are not good, then try to help her live her life to the fullest. Give her a lot of attention, and ask her friends if they want to visit her in the hospital. If you act or seem depressed around her, it will maker her depressed to.
I feel like you are a troll. First you would say stage 2, 3 or 4, not ';very bad'; also it is Colonel, if it were your husband you would know how to spell it. Also if your child was diagnosed with Cancer, you would not be on yahoo, you would be with her.
First off I am so Sorry. That is horrible. But tell her not to give up hope. There is support groups for this. Counseling is also an option. But the best thing I can advise you is to pray. The Lord works wonders. Just pray and miracles can happen. I wish you the best of luck.
~ Emily ~
FIRST of all be honest with her about every thing. And let her no you and her father are going to be with her and help her through all of the things she will have to go through. It is ok to tell her your are terrified and her to tell you she is. Her friends will support her all the way to and so will many more people. Just give her your love and understand when the hard times come. But I think you will be surprise
at how will she will be able to handle it. She seem to be that kind of young lady. Who will be more worried about you and her day. God bless you all. I hope she will recover from this.
just act positive around her. Because if you show sadness it will make her sad. When you are happy you will feel stronger and braver. Just act strong.
Wow. I am so sorry for all of this. I really don't know how to raise any child (only 13) If I were you have you friends visit all the time. And make sure she can keep in touch with them like, cell, and this is a wonderful time to buy a laptop! hmmm I guess make sure you treat her the same cause I know if I had cancer I wouldn't want all this pity... although buy her a laptop... laptops are good.
Hope all does well,
A friend of mine found out she had a tumor... well she is fine now... so there is hope! God bless you....
My best friends mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last october. Things looked rough but she's really making progress. You know how on the news you always hear those ';amazing stories';? You HAVE to beleive that your daughter WILL be one of those stories. I pray for my friends mom every night, and shes getting better! I know things are rought but you have to beleive she'll pull through. Tell her you beleive in her, and over all, treat her like you would without the cancer. She may be a little moody at times but she cant help that. its just the meds talking. Tell her everything will be alright. You have one more person rooting for her- me. id love it if you'd keep me posted on her health. I know you dont know me and it might be too personal for you to share, i understand.
You rock, keep rockin! %26lt;3 %26lt;3 %26lt;3 %26lt;3
first of all what a sad situation and i am so sorry to hear it and i do wish we could wave a magic wand and make it disappear.
i think that the very best thing to do is to continue on with life as normal as you possibly can. if all of a sudden you start giving her everything she will be more frightened because she'll get the impression that you don't have much hope.
if you continue on with life as usual then she may feel a little more confident and secure and sweetie that is what you want her to feel - strong and confident that this can be beaten!
of course there are going to be times when she sees you crying, or afraid, and i think its important that you share those moments with her. let her know that it is perfectly natural to be afraid and that both of you can share not only the fear but courage, faith and humour as well.
and if you ever need to just talk to someone, to share your private fear and thoughts with - i'm here - just send me a message - sometimes its easier to e-chat with a stranger than to let your loved ones know how scared you really are.
good luck to you and god bless..............
Anyone else feel horrible about being a working mother? Any advice?
My little boy is three months old and I will be going back to work this next week. I feel absolutely terrible, I'm a teacher and feel that I'm cheating my son, spending more time with other children than I do with him.
I already feel bad about the fact that I was unable to nurse him and now this...I want him to be smart, well adjusted and above all, happy, and I hope that I'm doing the right thing.
Has anyone else been through this? Did you have any guilt? If so, how did you deal with it?Anyone else feel horrible about being a working mother? Any advice?
What you are going through is normal. Many working moms feel guilty about going back to work. But know that your working isn't going to cause him to not love your or grow up into some criminal. YOu are setting a great example for him by showing him that people have to work for a living, and then coming home at the end of the day and showering him with a mother's love. I'm sure you are a great mom!Anyone else feel horrible about being a working mother? Any advice?
Of course I have guilt! However, I see that she is growing up just fine, and she is happy, and has a lot of people close to her that love her and help in her learning and growing. She is everything you mentioned, smart, well adjusted, and happy. I work full time, and I do often feel bad, but I also know I'm not cut out to be a full time stay at home mom either. Since I work, my daughter has been exposed to many people (sitter, her family,and their friends), and has had many experiences she wouldn't have had just staying home with me all of the time. So those are the things I try to think about. Also, just keep in mind to make the most out of the time you have together. It's easier said than done for me, but I keep in mind that even if I'm doing something that has to be done (laundry, grocery shopping), my daughter and I are together doing it, and she learns things from that too.
we ALL feel that way, hun, i have three kids and everytime i had to go back to work, i had mommy guilt... i mean, i know what i am doing is what is right for me and my kids, but it still bothered me that i wasnt able to be home full time... you are doing the right thing working and providing... as long as you trust the sitter, you're ok!
No, ';everyone'; doesn't go through this.
I never had a moment's guilt about being a working mom because I knew my kids were with a great caregiver when I couldn't be there. Women who MUST work are less likely to feel the guilt. They don't LIKE leaving their kids with daycare, but they know it's what must be done.
I'm sorry you feel so badly. I wish I could make you feel better but there is nothing anyone can say to do that. Enjoy and make special the time you do have with him.
I already feel bad about the fact that I was unable to nurse him and now this...I want him to be smart, well adjusted and above all, happy, and I hope that I'm doing the right thing.
Has anyone else been through this? Did you have any guilt? If so, how did you deal with it?Anyone else feel horrible about being a working mother? Any advice?
What you are going through is normal. Many working moms feel guilty about going back to work. But know that your working isn't going to cause him to not love your or grow up into some criminal. YOu are setting a great example for him by showing him that people have to work for a living, and then coming home at the end of the day and showering him with a mother's love. I'm sure you are a great mom!Anyone else feel horrible about being a working mother? Any advice?
Of course I have guilt! However, I see that she is growing up just fine, and she is happy, and has a lot of people close to her that love her and help in her learning and growing. She is everything you mentioned, smart, well adjusted, and happy. I work full time, and I do often feel bad, but I also know I'm not cut out to be a full time stay at home mom either. Since I work, my daughter has been exposed to many people (sitter, her family,and their friends), and has had many experiences she wouldn't have had just staying home with me all of the time. So those are the things I try to think about. Also, just keep in mind to make the most out of the time you have together. It's easier said than done for me, but I keep in mind that even if I'm doing something that has to be done (laundry, grocery shopping), my daughter and I are together doing it, and she learns things from that too.
we ALL feel that way, hun, i have three kids and everytime i had to go back to work, i had mommy guilt... i mean, i know what i am doing is what is right for me and my kids, but it still bothered me that i wasnt able to be home full time... you are doing the right thing working and providing... as long as you trust the sitter, you're ok!
No, ';everyone'; doesn't go through this.
I never had a moment's guilt about being a working mom because I knew my kids were with a great caregiver when I couldn't be there. Women who MUST work are less likely to feel the guilt. They don't LIKE leaving their kids with daycare, but they know it's what must be done.
I'm sorry you feel so badly. I wish I could make you feel better but there is nothing anyone can say to do that. Enjoy and make special the time you do have with him.
Single mother needs advice?
My ex done a runner while I was still pregnant. He saw baby few times but deceided he wants nothing to do with baby. I am finding this so so hard to accept that he wants absolutely nothing to do with his own child. He pays maintenance but otherwise has no time what so ever for my baby. Please help me with this as it causes me a lot of stress and angerSingle mother needs advice?
Eventhough it is a stressful situation you have to stay calm and try your best to avoid the stress. When you have your child, you really dont need anyone else but them. Because I guarentee you that child will be the one to make you smile when your down. Babies have this great spirit. And as for him; just remember that he will have to live with the fact that he was'nt there for that baby. Honestly just make sure he does his part on taking care of the baby needs. And make sure you let him know that one of those needs is a Father to be there. Try and work things out with him. You really have to stay strong, because alot of women let that stuff break them and then the baby gets affected by it. He's honestly gonna regret this. Its a shame that he's that ignorant but you know what he will learn the hard way. Continue being the good mother you are. Hopefully he will come around. And when he does let him know the difference btw a DADDY and a FATHER!!!Single mother needs advice?
I also agree with TB here
This is a problem that you can't solve in the way you'd like to solve it. He's not willing so there is nothing you can do.You need to accept that it's something you can't change. if you do that, then your stress levels should subside.
You need to use the anger and channel it into motivation, you are somebody's mother and that is where your priority has to be.
Yes maybe things could have turned out better but hindsight is a wonderful thing. Don't be hard on yourself for what has happened. With the best will in the world you can no more control another person's actions than you can tell the wind to change direction.
Take care of your child and yourself first, if you don't do that who else will?
I was in the same situation when my daughter who is now 7 was born.
I was with my partner for four years he left my whilst pregnant and i was in a right state!!
When she was born he came to visit once and we have not seen him since. He has never paid me a penny (at least you are lucky enough to get maintenance.)
I feel proud that i managed as well as i did, i'm sure you will to.
When my daughter was nearly 2 i met my now husband and we have a little sister for her.
It was lovely getting to know my daughter and having one to one with her until my hubby came along. We are married and he has now adopted her although she calls him daddy i have told her the truth.
He is a perfect dad in my eyes.
Good luck try not to be hurt and angry and concentrate on having a lovely time with your new baby.
There are usually local groups for women and mothers you can go to at hospitals, clinics, and social work offices. They teach you how to deal with stress, depression, parenting issues, single parenting, and these classes are usually free and you get to talk to other mothers in the same position. You could put your kid in daycare a few afternoons a week if you need some time to yourself.
It is hard. I know - I've been there.
At the same time you can't make someone do what they don't want to do. And because you know he may regret it at some point in his life, try to keep some contact going with him, even if it is very superficial, e.g. just letting him know where you are / change of address etc.
Otherwise, consider yourself as a single parent, being the loving and responsible parent. You may have to go through hardship, but there are helplines for people like you. Grow strong, grow confident about your ability, and you will find you can make a big difference to this child's life.
There really isn't anything you can do. Just be a good mommy to your child, and don't worry about him. Also, are you more upset because he doesn't want to see the baby or because he doesn't want to see you? Just something to think about...The best thing you can to is to be a good mom to your baby, and forget about a guy who is clearly a dead beat. Good luck.
I agree with TB 100% Be the best mommy you can. Women raise children all by them selves all of the time. The best thing to do, is to talk about it. Join a single mom's group. Talk to others that are going through similar things you are going through. It helps.
I think that when you have the baby, he will have a change of heart. Most people do when they've had the baby. You just suddenly feel all this love for it, knowing it has your blood.
For now, ask him if he could prehaps think it through and give you a chance.
Let your anger go, just think it's his loss. As long as he pays you don't need a loser like him in your babys life. Concentrate on your beautiful baby and think of all the fun and love you will have.
as long as your the best mom you can be the father will have to face your child and all the babys questions when babs old enough
I think you should try to accept the fact that he doesn't want to be involved. You can't force someone to care. He doesn't sound like a mature and responsible guy. Sorry
Eventhough it is a stressful situation you have to stay calm and try your best to avoid the stress. When you have your child, you really dont need anyone else but them. Because I guarentee you that child will be the one to make you smile when your down. Babies have this great spirit. And as for him; just remember that he will have to live with the fact that he was'nt there for that baby. Honestly just make sure he does his part on taking care of the baby needs. And make sure you let him know that one of those needs is a Father to be there. Try and work things out with him. You really have to stay strong, because alot of women let that stuff break them and then the baby gets affected by it. He's honestly gonna regret this. Its a shame that he's that ignorant but you know what he will learn the hard way. Continue being the good mother you are. Hopefully he will come around. And when he does let him know the difference btw a DADDY and a FATHER!!!Single mother needs advice?
I also agree with TB here
This is a problem that you can't solve in the way you'd like to solve it. He's not willing so there is nothing you can do.You need to accept that it's something you can't change. if you do that, then your stress levels should subside.
You need to use the anger and channel it into motivation, you are somebody's mother and that is where your priority has to be.
Yes maybe things could have turned out better but hindsight is a wonderful thing. Don't be hard on yourself for what has happened. With the best will in the world you can no more control another person's actions than you can tell the wind to change direction.
Take care of your child and yourself first, if you don't do that who else will?
I was in the same situation when my daughter who is now 7 was born.
I was with my partner for four years he left my whilst pregnant and i was in a right state!!
When she was born he came to visit once and we have not seen him since. He has never paid me a penny (at least you are lucky enough to get maintenance.)
I feel proud that i managed as well as i did, i'm sure you will to.
When my daughter was nearly 2 i met my now husband and we have a little sister for her.
It was lovely getting to know my daughter and having one to one with her until my hubby came along. We are married and he has now adopted her although she calls him daddy i have told her the truth.
He is a perfect dad in my eyes.
Good luck try not to be hurt and angry and concentrate on having a lovely time with your new baby.
There are usually local groups for women and mothers you can go to at hospitals, clinics, and social work offices. They teach you how to deal with stress, depression, parenting issues, single parenting, and these classes are usually free and you get to talk to other mothers in the same position. You could put your kid in daycare a few afternoons a week if you need some time to yourself.
It is hard. I know - I've been there.
At the same time you can't make someone do what they don't want to do. And because you know he may regret it at some point in his life, try to keep some contact going with him, even if it is very superficial, e.g. just letting him know where you are / change of address etc.
Otherwise, consider yourself as a single parent, being the loving and responsible parent. You may have to go through hardship, but there are helplines for people like you. Grow strong, grow confident about your ability, and you will find you can make a big difference to this child's life.
There really isn't anything you can do. Just be a good mommy to your child, and don't worry about him. Also, are you more upset because he doesn't want to see the baby or because he doesn't want to see you? Just something to think about...The best thing you can to is to be a good mom to your baby, and forget about a guy who is clearly a dead beat. Good luck.
I agree with TB 100% Be the best mommy you can. Women raise children all by them selves all of the time. The best thing to do, is to talk about it. Join a single mom's group. Talk to others that are going through similar things you are going through. It helps.
I think that when you have the baby, he will have a change of heart. Most people do when they've had the baby. You just suddenly feel all this love for it, knowing it has your blood.
For now, ask him if he could prehaps think it through and give you a chance.
Let your anger go, just think it's his loss. As long as he pays you don't need a loser like him in your babys life. Concentrate on your beautiful baby and think of all the fun and love you will have.
as long as your the best mom you can be the father will have to face your child and all the babys questions when babs old enough
I think you should try to accept the fact that he doesn't want to be involved. You can't force someone to care. He doesn't sound like a mature and responsible guy. Sorry
I need advice for help with my mother?
Right now, my mother just told me that she's sending me to live with my dad because my grades aren't good, she thinks I'm spending too much time with my friends. I'm a B- average, what more does she want?!
Can someone tell me something that I can do to talk my mother out of sending me to another state?!I need advice for help with my mother?
Tell her you do not wish to go. That you would rather live with her. And frankly that you will refuse to get into the car or train or plane that she tries to put you in.
Tell her you are comfortable with a B average and that you promise it wont drop below that. AND keep that promise.
Let her know you love her and have always wanted to live with her and that despite the differences you are sure she and you can figure out a way to deal with your grades. Maybe you can tell her for your lowest class grade you will go to the teacher one day a week after school and work on the material like with a tutor so she will feel like you are being proactive about your grades and during that time she will know you are focusing on school ... not your friends.
EGI need advice for help with my mother?
She sounds frustrated and isn't sure how to handle the situation.
Are you helping her around the house even if she's not asking you to do something?
How about the friends you are hanging out with? Does she not approve of them?
I can understand that this situation may be frustrating for you. If she sees you spending a lot of time with friends (on the computer or not) and not spending time doing things which in her eyes are more beneficial to you in the future, there can be some clashes in personality.
Look over the last month ish. Ask yourself if you have done all that you could to be helpful and studious while still having time to spend with yourself and your friends. When things cool down, talk with her. Don't let communication cease. Figure out if there is a schedule or a list of things that you should do everyday to get your grades up if that's what she wants. Spend a bit more time on your studies?If your mom wants to run away from the situation, be wiser and evaluate on how you can improve the situation.
Being a university graduate there are many times where I should have stepped up either with my own parents or my studies, and there are many times where I am glad I let my grades slip a bit so that I could invest in things other than my career. This is your life. Make it better. :D No one else can do that for you.
And remember...wherever you are, with your mom or your dad. Know that they care for you and are only doing what is in your best interest. ;)
tell her at least your not failing that's a passing grade compared to other kids and you should probably show her that you're not hanging mostly with you friends..take the time for her to notice you actually reading or something.....then if she doesn't change there don't think of it as a deployment but more of a vacation...and whenever she calls just dont talk to her act like you're to tired or just got other things to do in order to avoid her
hey i had a tough time in sschool never f's or anything pretty much c's and b's and have a learning problem but if i had straight b's on my report card my parents would be thrilled just tell your mother your trying your best and that you actually pass school with b's
Well depending on your age and the state you live in you could get emancipated, live on your own and go to school, or you could push for an A!
tell your mother that'll you'll focus on school work before hanging out with friends and cut back on your time with them if thats what she wants. but let her know you love her and want to stay.detox cleansing
Can someone tell me something that I can do to talk my mother out of sending me to another state?!I need advice for help with my mother?
Tell her you do not wish to go. That you would rather live with her. And frankly that you will refuse to get into the car or train or plane that she tries to put you in.
Tell her you are comfortable with a B average and that you promise it wont drop below that. AND keep that promise.
Let her know you love her and have always wanted to live with her and that despite the differences you are sure she and you can figure out a way to deal with your grades. Maybe you can tell her for your lowest class grade you will go to the teacher one day a week after school and work on the material like with a tutor so she will feel like you are being proactive about your grades and during that time she will know you are focusing on school ... not your friends.
EGI need advice for help with my mother?
She sounds frustrated and isn't sure how to handle the situation.
Are you helping her around the house even if she's not asking you to do something?
How about the friends you are hanging out with? Does she not approve of them?
I can understand that this situation may be frustrating for you. If she sees you spending a lot of time with friends (on the computer or not) and not spending time doing things which in her eyes are more beneficial to you in the future, there can be some clashes in personality.
Look over the last month ish. Ask yourself if you have done all that you could to be helpful and studious while still having time to spend with yourself and your friends. When things cool down, talk with her. Don't let communication cease. Figure out if there is a schedule or a list of things that you should do everyday to get your grades up if that's what she wants. Spend a bit more time on your studies?If your mom wants to run away from the situation, be wiser and evaluate on how you can improve the situation.
Being a university graduate there are many times where I should have stepped up either with my own parents or my studies, and there are many times where I am glad I let my grades slip a bit so that I could invest in things other than my career. This is your life. Make it better. :D No one else can do that for you.
And remember...wherever you are, with your mom or your dad. Know that they care for you and are only doing what is in your best interest. ;)
tell her at least your not failing that's a passing grade compared to other kids and you should probably show her that you're not hanging mostly with you friends..take the time for her to notice you actually reading or something.....then if she doesn't change there don't think of it as a deployment but more of a vacation...and whenever she calls just dont talk to her act like you're to tired or just got other things to do in order to avoid her
hey i had a tough time in sschool never f's or anything pretty much c's and b's and have a learning problem but if i had straight b's on my report card my parents would be thrilled just tell your mother your trying your best and that you actually pass school with b's
Well depending on your age and the state you live in you could get emancipated, live on your own and go to school, or you could push for an A!
tell your mother that'll you'll focus on school work before hanging out with friends and cut back on your time with them if thats what she wants. but let her know you love her and want to stay.
I need advice. My 11 year old nephew is violent towards his mother. He sent her to the hospital last night.?
He has a history of violence towards his mother. She is afraid that he will kill her. She is afraid to ask CPS for help with her son. She thinks they will take him from her. What can we do to help him stop this violence.I need advice. My 11 year old nephew is violent towards his mother. He sent her to the hospital last night.?
boot camp....I need advice. My 11 year old nephew is violent towards his mother. He sent her to the hospital last night.?
My 11 year old nephew sent my sister to the hospital, even though my sister and I aren't the closest sister you can find, you could bet that my daughters who are substantially older than my nephew and I would have whipped his azz into next year and then called Child Services to come pick his whipped azz up. 11, oh hell no. My heart to your sister because I am sure she has done the best she can, but, she doesn't deserve this. Has your nephew been evaluated psychologically. Needless to say, if I were your sister (and I know I am not), he would not be welcomed back in my home because I would be afraid that we would kill each other. I know violence isn't the way to go, but hell, I would try my best to hurt him in self-defense. I pray that all works out for your sister, because again, no Mother deserves such treatment. God Bless.
You may consult your psychiatrist immediately in this regard for necessary treatment.
Your sister needs to get CPS involved, they have resources that can help her. They rarely take away children from fit parents, no matter what the child is doing. If doing this on your own was possible, it would already be working. Obviously the situation is getting worse, so you need professional guidance.
Sounds like he needs a good a--- whopping. Since when does a parent let an 11 year old control their life. She needs to stand her ground and the next time he slaps her she needs to return the favor. If not, then I would be afraid he would kill me. See a psychiatrist that specializes in child psychology and get him some help. He may need medication.
OK, prior to another answer, Guantanamo Bay is NOT THE THING TO DO.
Its called boot camp.
That should do it.
ITS NOT HORMONES.
He's got something wrong wit his head.
Boot camp, now.
Unless and until she finds the courage to call CPS and turn her son in to the authorities ( of course, she can always call the police as well, and press charges against him, if she wants to) then this situation is just going to continue until she either gets so badly hurt that she can't do anything, or she dies. Since your sister isn't able to help herself, you need to step in and help her. Your nephew sounds like a very troubled kid with a lot of anger and impulse control issues he needs to work through, and it might be better for all concerned if he were not at home. True, he could spend time in detention, yes, but I think that ultimately efforts would be made to find a permanent placement for him. Your sister needs help and therapy too. I wouldn't try to stop your nephew- just call the police on him the next time he harms or tries to harm his mother. Good luck.
Buy him a 4-wheeler, take him out for practice in the country, and taunt him for driving like a sissy. Or get him involved in the illegal drug trade--he'll be dead in no time.
First of all the mother needs counseling and parenting classes. Secondly, the boy needs counseling.
Obviously the child needs professional help and fast. I would definitely seek the help of a medical professional. Try calling the social worker in his school system or his medical doctor. They can probably set you in the right direction. I wouldn't wait on it though..........
not to sound violent or anything,but if i was her,and my 11 year old did that to me,he would be smacked so hard and grounded for so long,that when it was done,he would be the most loving person ever.she needs to scream at him and demand respect,she's the mother,he cannot control her.she should not fear her own son,and i would tell the cops if i was sent to the hospital by my son,i wouldn't press charges but i would let him go to juvie or a real jail and see what it's like.see where he might be one day.but she and the father need to straighten this kid out before he starts abusing his girlfriends.then he'll abuse his wife and children,with abusers,it's a never ending cycle,unless someone steps in.the dad really needs to step in here in this situation.
just send him to like a rehab kind of place send him away but she shouldnt say im scared hes going to kill me then they will take him away. she should just send him somewhere for disipline
Guantanamo!
Umm she needs to seek some help asap. Or beat the sit out of him. Not to send him to the hospital but to show him not to hit mommy because mommy will beat that ***. Or just go get some help from a psychiatrist get him some professional help. Hospital though? what is he doing to her. whether it be cps or not she needs to get him help before it gets worse. what if he kills someone. or like she said herself her.
Get Help
Jeffrey Dahmer's mother probably felt the same way. Send that boy to a ';Tough Love'; camp in the wilderness or to Boys Town before it's too late.
i understand, or can try to conceive the fear you have of separation between the mother and the child. Not only may she be afraid of losing him, but somewhere also might be feeling guilty for having not prevented such behaviour in educating him. Of course, she is not to blame herself, but this must be dealt with, and she should try and consult a children behaviour therapist. Talking about what she could do to anticipate his actions might help her cope on a daily bais and although i doubt he would cooperate, have him see a therapist, perhaps he has some pesonal issues which are making him react like this: is this a new development in his behaviour? If so, the latter argument should be questioned seriously: he may be experiencing ressure one way or another causing this attitude. In any case, his mother should be seriously helped. I do not hear mentioning of his father: she cannot stand alone in this, not only physically, but mentally and needs some support as she will doubtlessly feel guilt whenever she carries an action which SHE thinks is jeopardizing her son's freedom. In particular if he points it out to her (even the most basic ';you're trying to get rid of me'; or ';i'm not insane or ill, i don't need a shrink'; will affect her badly) GOOD LUCK x x x
He needs a punishment.
Send him to boot camp for a while and then he might appreciate his home AND his mother.
Maybe even a send him to hospital. There is definitely something wrong with him.
He needs to be disciplined. Send him to brat camp or something.
get him out of that house!!! call the police and ask them to put him into juvenile detention....that should straighten his butt up quick....is the father not in the picture? if not then there could be a chance that he is acting out cause of a seperation from them..... he might also need some counseling.
1st of all, the people in here talking about ';whooping'; him or beating his A** isn't going to do anything accept show him that violence can be returned. If it were me, I'd talk to first a pediatrician. 11 yrs old is very young still to be showing so much violence, but not old enough for jail or anything else that most of the people in here are commenting with. Grow up people this is a serious thing. Depending on what the dr. says, go from there. Counceling, medicine, anything other than just beating him back. I wouldn't go to CPS but maybe look in the phone book or online and see if there are other services in your area that would help. There could be a real medical problem there, and you can punish your kids for something like that. Good luck!
Have him thrown in jail....
Military Boot Camp....
or a good butt whippin'
This is wise words from my grandfather TAKE THAT LITTLE S.O.B. AND BEND HIM OVER YOUR KNEE AND WAIL THE H*E*L*L* OUT OF HIS LITTLE A*S*S*, and stand him in the corner till he stops wallerin' if he does not obey standing in the corner then wail him again he will learn soon enough. That is how I was taught.
my moms friends son tried to set her bed on fire while she was taking a nap....
so i kinda know how it is.
they sent her son to lakeland hospital in Springfield, MO.
it helped him out ALOT!
You need to start thinking behind the bad exterior the child gives off for instance..
Has he had a bad upbringing?
Bullied or bullying other children in school can have a massive affect on ones mood!
Has he been under any stress lately
Does he have a Anger Management such as ADHD- pretty common in children these days.
My best advice i can give is to see a doctor, dont go to a PYSCARATRIST!
GOING TO A SYCATRIST MEANS:
A record of 'mental illness'
never be able to work with chemicals, in the police etc.
and if he/she is convicted of a crime and appears in court theres a big chance they'll bring the past up...
So try avoiding this as a LAST soloution.
I think you should try a doctor first he'll refer him over to someone who deals with this kind of behavior.
Keep him off Sugars,fats and E numbers.
Get him to join a club after school he will enjoy to socialze and gain new friends etc.
As for the violence Kids dont just put there mums in hospital for no reason..
Hes obviously seen this act on television or could be getting in with a violent group of friends
Hope you sort stuff out X
boot camp....I need advice. My 11 year old nephew is violent towards his mother. He sent her to the hospital last night.?
My 11 year old nephew sent my sister to the hospital, even though my sister and I aren't the closest sister you can find, you could bet that my daughters who are substantially older than my nephew and I would have whipped his azz into next year and then called Child Services to come pick his whipped azz up. 11, oh hell no. My heart to your sister because I am sure she has done the best she can, but, she doesn't deserve this. Has your nephew been evaluated psychologically. Needless to say, if I were your sister (and I know I am not), he would not be welcomed back in my home because I would be afraid that we would kill each other. I know violence isn't the way to go, but hell, I would try my best to hurt him in self-defense. I pray that all works out for your sister, because again, no Mother deserves such treatment. God Bless.
You may consult your psychiatrist immediately in this regard for necessary treatment.
Your sister needs to get CPS involved, they have resources that can help her. They rarely take away children from fit parents, no matter what the child is doing. If doing this on your own was possible, it would already be working. Obviously the situation is getting worse, so you need professional guidance.
Sounds like he needs a good a--- whopping. Since when does a parent let an 11 year old control their life. She needs to stand her ground and the next time he slaps her she needs to return the favor. If not, then I would be afraid he would kill me. See a psychiatrist that specializes in child psychology and get him some help. He may need medication.
OK, prior to another answer, Guantanamo Bay is NOT THE THING TO DO.
Its called boot camp.
That should do it.
ITS NOT HORMONES.
He's got something wrong wit his head.
Boot camp, now.
Unless and until she finds the courage to call CPS and turn her son in to the authorities ( of course, she can always call the police as well, and press charges against him, if she wants to) then this situation is just going to continue until she either gets so badly hurt that she can't do anything, or she dies. Since your sister isn't able to help herself, you need to step in and help her. Your nephew sounds like a very troubled kid with a lot of anger and impulse control issues he needs to work through, and it might be better for all concerned if he were not at home. True, he could spend time in detention, yes, but I think that ultimately efforts would be made to find a permanent placement for him. Your sister needs help and therapy too. I wouldn't try to stop your nephew- just call the police on him the next time he harms or tries to harm his mother. Good luck.
Buy him a 4-wheeler, take him out for practice in the country, and taunt him for driving like a sissy. Or get him involved in the illegal drug trade--he'll be dead in no time.
First of all the mother needs counseling and parenting classes. Secondly, the boy needs counseling.
Obviously the child needs professional help and fast. I would definitely seek the help of a medical professional. Try calling the social worker in his school system or his medical doctor. They can probably set you in the right direction. I wouldn't wait on it though..........
not to sound violent or anything,but if i was her,and my 11 year old did that to me,he would be smacked so hard and grounded for so long,that when it was done,he would be the most loving person ever.she needs to scream at him and demand respect,she's the mother,he cannot control her.she should not fear her own son,and i would tell the cops if i was sent to the hospital by my son,i wouldn't press charges but i would let him go to juvie or a real jail and see what it's like.see where he might be one day.but she and the father need to straighten this kid out before he starts abusing his girlfriends.then he'll abuse his wife and children,with abusers,it's a never ending cycle,unless someone steps in.the dad really needs to step in here in this situation.
just send him to like a rehab kind of place send him away but she shouldnt say im scared hes going to kill me then they will take him away. she should just send him somewhere for disipline
Guantanamo!
Umm she needs to seek some help asap. Or beat the sit out of him. Not to send him to the hospital but to show him not to hit mommy because mommy will beat that ***. Or just go get some help from a psychiatrist get him some professional help. Hospital though? what is he doing to her. whether it be cps or not she needs to get him help before it gets worse. what if he kills someone. or like she said herself her.
Get Help
Jeffrey Dahmer's mother probably felt the same way. Send that boy to a ';Tough Love'; camp in the wilderness or to Boys Town before it's too late.
i understand, or can try to conceive the fear you have of separation between the mother and the child. Not only may she be afraid of losing him, but somewhere also might be feeling guilty for having not prevented such behaviour in educating him. Of course, she is not to blame herself, but this must be dealt with, and she should try and consult a children behaviour therapist. Talking about what she could do to anticipate his actions might help her cope on a daily bais and although i doubt he would cooperate, have him see a therapist, perhaps he has some pesonal issues which are making him react like this: is this a new development in his behaviour? If so, the latter argument should be questioned seriously: he may be experiencing ressure one way or another causing this attitude. In any case, his mother should be seriously helped. I do not hear mentioning of his father: she cannot stand alone in this, not only physically, but mentally and needs some support as she will doubtlessly feel guilt whenever she carries an action which SHE thinks is jeopardizing her son's freedom. In particular if he points it out to her (even the most basic ';you're trying to get rid of me'; or ';i'm not insane or ill, i don't need a shrink'; will affect her badly) GOOD LUCK x x x
He needs a punishment.
Send him to boot camp for a while and then he might appreciate his home AND his mother.
Maybe even a send him to hospital. There is definitely something wrong with him.
He needs to be disciplined. Send him to brat camp or something.
get him out of that house!!! call the police and ask them to put him into juvenile detention....that should straighten his butt up quick....is the father not in the picture? if not then there could be a chance that he is acting out cause of a seperation from them..... he might also need some counseling.
1st of all, the people in here talking about ';whooping'; him or beating his A** isn't going to do anything accept show him that violence can be returned. If it were me, I'd talk to first a pediatrician. 11 yrs old is very young still to be showing so much violence, but not old enough for jail or anything else that most of the people in here are commenting with. Grow up people this is a serious thing. Depending on what the dr. says, go from there. Counceling, medicine, anything other than just beating him back. I wouldn't go to CPS but maybe look in the phone book or online and see if there are other services in your area that would help. There could be a real medical problem there, and you can punish your kids for something like that. Good luck!
Have him thrown in jail....
Military Boot Camp....
or a good butt whippin'
This is wise words from my grandfather TAKE THAT LITTLE S.O.B. AND BEND HIM OVER YOUR KNEE AND WAIL THE H*E*L*L* OUT OF HIS LITTLE A*S*S*, and stand him in the corner till he stops wallerin' if he does not obey standing in the corner then wail him again he will learn soon enough. That is how I was taught.
my moms friends son tried to set her bed on fire while she was taking a nap....
so i kinda know how it is.
they sent her son to lakeland hospital in Springfield, MO.
it helped him out ALOT!
You need to start thinking behind the bad exterior the child gives off for instance..
Has he had a bad upbringing?
Bullied or bullying other children in school can have a massive affect on ones mood!
Has he been under any stress lately
Does he have a Anger Management such as ADHD- pretty common in children these days.
My best advice i can give is to see a doctor, dont go to a PYSCARATRIST!
GOING TO A SYCATRIST MEANS:
A record of 'mental illness'
never be able to work with chemicals, in the police etc.
and if he/she is convicted of a crime and appears in court theres a big chance they'll bring the past up...
So try avoiding this as a LAST soloution.
I think you should try a doctor first he'll refer him over to someone who deals with this kind of behavior.
Keep him off Sugars,fats and E numbers.
Get him to join a club after school he will enjoy to socialze and gain new friends etc.
As for the violence Kids dont just put there mums in hospital for no reason..
Hes obviously seen this act on television or could be getting in with a violent group of friends
Hope you sort stuff out X
Mother need advice.?
I have a 21yrs old son. He won't work. He won't even look for a job unless he think I'm going to put him put. Now there is this guy him and I had been together every seen my son was 7 yrs old. Now him and I have my ups and downs. That's my bussiness and I love him. But my son and him started getting into it when he was about 15 or 16. This guy and I broken up last November. We was together 13yrs. We didn't break up about my son. It was about some thing else. We still been seeing each other. My promble is my car is in the shop. It's going to cost me a lots of money to get it out. My friend is willing to go half. But that still leave my with my half, rent, light bill, water, insurance, car payment. So I decide to move in with my friend. I told my son that he's on his own. My sister said I was wrong. Do you think I'm wrong. I just want to live my life without taking care of him. Am I a bad mother or what.Mother need advice.?
I don't think you are wrong for needing help. Depending on why you broke up with this gentleman to begin with. I always look at things this way. Is he worth being with, risking your relationship with your child. Your child will always be there a man or woman will not be. My children are not even 10 yet. I have been remarried and he is a wonderful stepfather to my older three and a wonderful dad to our youngest. But he knows he would be out on his rear if he EVER mistreated our children. Your son is older and needs to learn some responsibility, to fend for himself. But don't totally turn your back on him and not look back. He may never forgive you and you may never forgive yourself.Mother need advice.?
your son is grown, and is taking advantage of you. if he would work and help with the bills, you would not be in the sit. you are now in.
hes a grown man. of course your not wrong. he cant refuse to work and expect mommy to take care of him his whole life. he needs a reality check and you gave it to him. you did the best you could for him as long as you could. he should want to help you! i think you did the right thing,i would have done the same. even if it was wrong, that was your decision as a mother and your sister has to respect that
soon he'll be 40 and still moochin' his momma. i've been on my own, doing well, have my own fam, etc., and have only god and my parents to thank for letting me go at right after highs school. do him a favor...kick him out. enjoy life.
I am not sure how to answer your question but I do know that a lot of big corporations frown on people surfing the web from their back office systems. I would recommend that you do not do this while at work because you never know who is watching you. Oh and let us know if you need help with that printer.
no your a good mother.
u did everything to ur son.
legally, you have every right to boot the kid out....whether or not he's done anything wrong, or whether or not he has a job or anyplace to go.
If you cannot afford him, it's time for him to start affording himself. You raised him. You need to take care of you now.
Your not a bad mother. Your son is an adult he has long since passed the age of you HAVING to take care of him. Sometimes parents have to push their children out of the nest. Some go, some stay, some succeed, some fail. But that doesn't make it the parents fault. You have to live your life and look out for yourself. It's not like your neglecting your son. He is an adult it's time for him to learn to be one. And if your son really loves you and appreciates you taking care of him (when most would have kicked him out for good) he'll understand that you had to do what you had to to make it. And don't worry about what your sister thinks if she thinks its such a bad thing then maybe she should pay your bills or pay your half to get your car out, or better yet maybe she should let your son live in her house and mooch off of her.
HE'S 21!!! HE'LL BE FINE.ENJOY LIFE.
no you are not a bad mother .... your son is grown and its time for you to live your life for you and since your son doesnt want to contribute to anything in the household ..tell your sister to take him in and let him leech off of her for a while and see how it feels ... you did what you were supposed to as a mother and if you werent around who would take care of your son ..(himself) so let him start now ...
but dont ever completely cut him outta your life ..just let him know that you are gonna do whats right for you and he needs to do the same and if he needs you , you will be there as much as you can but since he is grown its time for him to be responsible for himself
no infact you are a good mom for doing that. He needs to learn how to take care of him self.
it doesn't make you a bad mother but you should have given him a choice or ultimatum. tell him that he needed to find a place by such and such a date because you can't do this anymore. i hope you didn't just leave and not tell him. good luck...sounds like you've been there for him.....sometimes a mom needs to show tough love to their children for their children to learn and grow
No - he's 21 for God sakes!!! I surprised you let him live with you this long!
Your not a bad mother. You already raised him. I'm 22 years old I live at home still but, my parents would kick me out if I didn't do a thing. So he needs to grow up and learn some responsibilities. Its cool to help him out if hes willing to help himself but, hes gotta learn at some point in his life that life's hard and u have to work ur butt off.
Nope, even mama birds have to push their baby birds out of the nest to make them learn to fly.
Your poor little baby bird needs a bit of pushing. Just tell him, he can come over and eat with you whenever he wants (that way you know he won't starve).
You might want to go to some toughlove meetings near you, you'll find other parents that will help give you support.
I don't think you are wrong for needing help. Depending on why you broke up with this gentleman to begin with. I always look at things this way. Is he worth being with, risking your relationship with your child. Your child will always be there a man or woman will not be. My children are not even 10 yet. I have been remarried and he is a wonderful stepfather to my older three and a wonderful dad to our youngest. But he knows he would be out on his rear if he EVER mistreated our children. Your son is older and needs to learn some responsibility, to fend for himself. But don't totally turn your back on him and not look back. He may never forgive you and you may never forgive yourself.Mother need advice.?
your son is grown, and is taking advantage of you. if he would work and help with the bills, you would not be in the sit. you are now in.
hes a grown man. of course your not wrong. he cant refuse to work and expect mommy to take care of him his whole life. he needs a reality check and you gave it to him. you did the best you could for him as long as you could. he should want to help you! i think you did the right thing,i would have done the same. even if it was wrong, that was your decision as a mother and your sister has to respect that
soon he'll be 40 and still moochin' his momma. i've been on my own, doing well, have my own fam, etc., and have only god and my parents to thank for letting me go at right after highs school. do him a favor...kick him out. enjoy life.
I am not sure how to answer your question but I do know that a lot of big corporations frown on people surfing the web from their back office systems. I would recommend that you do not do this while at work because you never know who is watching you. Oh and let us know if you need help with that printer.
no your a good mother.
u did everything to ur son.
legally, you have every right to boot the kid out....whether or not he's done anything wrong, or whether or not he has a job or anyplace to go.
If you cannot afford him, it's time for him to start affording himself. You raised him. You need to take care of you now.
Your not a bad mother. Your son is an adult he has long since passed the age of you HAVING to take care of him. Sometimes parents have to push their children out of the nest. Some go, some stay, some succeed, some fail. But that doesn't make it the parents fault. You have to live your life and look out for yourself. It's not like your neglecting your son. He is an adult it's time for him to learn to be one. And if your son really loves you and appreciates you taking care of him (when most would have kicked him out for good) he'll understand that you had to do what you had to to make it. And don't worry about what your sister thinks if she thinks its such a bad thing then maybe she should pay your bills or pay your half to get your car out, or better yet maybe she should let your son live in her house and mooch off of her.
HE'S 21!!! HE'LL BE FINE.ENJOY LIFE.
no you are not a bad mother .... your son is grown and its time for you to live your life for you and since your son doesnt want to contribute to anything in the household ..tell your sister to take him in and let him leech off of her for a while and see how it feels ... you did what you were supposed to as a mother and if you werent around who would take care of your son ..(himself) so let him start now ...
but dont ever completely cut him outta your life ..just let him know that you are gonna do whats right for you and he needs to do the same and if he needs you , you will be there as much as you can but since he is grown its time for him to be responsible for himself
no infact you are a good mom for doing that. He needs to learn how to take care of him self.
it doesn't make you a bad mother but you should have given him a choice or ultimatum. tell him that he needed to find a place by such and such a date because you can't do this anymore. i hope you didn't just leave and not tell him. good luck...sounds like you've been there for him.....sometimes a mom needs to show tough love to their children for their children to learn and grow
No - he's 21 for God sakes!!! I surprised you let him live with you this long!
Your not a bad mother. You already raised him. I'm 22 years old I live at home still but, my parents would kick me out if I didn't do a thing. So he needs to grow up and learn some responsibilities. Its cool to help him out if hes willing to help himself but, hes gotta learn at some point in his life that life's hard and u have to work ur butt off.
Nope, even mama birds have to push their baby birds out of the nest to make them learn to fly.
Your poor little baby bird needs a bit of pushing. Just tell him, he can come over and eat with you whenever he wants (that way you know he won't starve).
You might want to go to some toughlove meetings near you, you'll find other parents that will help give you support.
Mother/Daughter Advice?
I am writing a paper comparing %26amp; contrasting a poem from the 1970s that gives a huge list of dos/donts from a mother to her daughter.
For my comparison/contrast, I want to use a letter my mom wrote to me with advice before starting college as well as some sort of song or recent poem from a mother to a daughter. Any suggestions?Mother/Daughter Advice?
The only song I can think of from mother to daughter lyrics is that one about ';how can I help you say goodbye';, can't remember the artist. It was so sweet and sad. Mid 90's era?
It is about how the mother was always there, helping her through the hard times, saying goodbye to best friend when they moved, saying goodbye to BF who dumped her, saying goodbye to husband after divorce, and saying goodbye to HER (the mother) when she died.
There is another one...Coat of Many Colors? Dolly Parton...an oldie. It was more about a gift that her mother made, the kids teased her about it...how her mother taught her about priorities and values.
Shop Around...my momma told me...you better shop around. OLD, sorry!
There is a relatively new song, it is the girl calling from the road when she is poor then hits it big as a singer...';...Love, your baby girl...'; It is packed with advice, long distance concern between grown up kids and their parents.
All these country songs, I hope you like them!Mother/Daughter Advice?
Music forum here, HELLO!
I can think of a couple of songs from father to daughter and a couple where the mother gives advice about a specific situation (usually love) but only one song from mother to daughter about general topics. There is another one but its slipping my memory right now so here is the one I remember
I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'
Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion, always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years
And wonder, where those years have gone)
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years
And wonder where those years have gone)
For my comparison/contrast, I want to use a letter my mom wrote to me with advice before starting college as well as some sort of song or recent poem from a mother to a daughter. Any suggestions?Mother/Daughter Advice?
The only song I can think of from mother to daughter lyrics is that one about ';how can I help you say goodbye';, can't remember the artist. It was so sweet and sad. Mid 90's era?
It is about how the mother was always there, helping her through the hard times, saying goodbye to best friend when they moved, saying goodbye to BF who dumped her, saying goodbye to husband after divorce, and saying goodbye to HER (the mother) when she died.
There is another one...Coat of Many Colors? Dolly Parton...an oldie. It was more about a gift that her mother made, the kids teased her about it...how her mother taught her about priorities and values.
Shop Around...my momma told me...you better shop around. OLD, sorry!
There is a relatively new song, it is the girl calling from the road when she is poor then hits it big as a singer...';...Love, your baby girl...'; It is packed with advice, long distance concern between grown up kids and their parents.
All these country songs, I hope you like them!Mother/Daughter Advice?
Music forum here, HELLO!
I can think of a couple of songs from father to daughter and a couple where the mother gives advice about a specific situation (usually love) but only one song from mother to daughter about general topics. There is another one but its slipping my memory right now so here is the one I remember
I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'
Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion, always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years
And wonder, where those years have gone)
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years
And wonder where those years have gone)
Hello i need some legal advice if i would to marry my ficanee will her mother controle end? i need to know?
My fiancee is going to be married soon and i was wonderig if i would to marry her would her mother be able to gain custady of her and her children. my fiancee is 20 and i am 20 and i was wanting to know if she becoms the member of my family by marrying her since her last name wil be mine and so as my kids would that help prevent her mother from gaining custoday of her and her. my soon to be wife is very smart and to me is coherant?Hello i need some legal advice if i would to marry my ficanee will her mother controle end? i need to know?
As long as you are both 18 or over you are free and clear to live your own lives.
Good luck!Hello i need some legal advice if i would to marry my ficanee will her mother controle end? i need to know?
I don't really understand the question. Does your fiancee have a medical condition?? If she is an adult and you marry her, there is no way, unless for some weird legal reason, that your fiancee's mother would be able to gain custody of her or your children.
Do you mean that her mother thinks that her daughter is not competent to take care of her own kids?
I don't understand your question.
As long as you are both 18 or over you are free and clear to live your own lives.
Good luck!Hello i need some legal advice if i would to marry my ficanee will her mother controle end? i need to know?
I don't really understand the question. Does your fiancee have a medical condition?? If she is an adult and you marry her, there is no way, unless for some weird legal reason, that your fiancee's mother would be able to gain custody of her or your children.
Do you mean that her mother thinks that her daughter is not competent to take care of her own kids?
I don't understand your question.
I feel like my wife is trying to be my mother. Any advice?
I can completely relate, as I have often caught myself ';mothering '; my husband. It is usually to keep him in good health. Caring and loving someone can often be overdone and become Mothering or even Smothering!
Let your wife know that you realize she loves you and cares for your well being. Try to be patient with her and perhaps ask what she may be worrying about. Is it your health, safety when you are driving or working? Tell he about the precautions you take in these areas and that you are self aware. She may not realize the extent of her ';protectiveness'; and it may surprise her. Try to be sincere and sensitive to her feelings. One boyfriend said to me once that he has a mother and he is starting to look at me in a maternal way. WOW! That made me snap out of it.
Example: My husband has a constricted esophagus and food gets stuck in his throat. We were in ER last week because of this. I have been smothering him and I know it! He simply told me that he loves me and knows I am concerned but my ';telling him to chew his food well so it goes down'; made him feel like an infant. I had a good laugh and realized what I was doing. I now keep this in check.I feel like my wife is trying to be my mother. Any advice?
Asking the question here first off isnt going to fix it. Talking to your wife and opening the lines of communication are the first key to figuring out why she feels she needs to treat you in this way. As a woman we are predestined to take care of everyone in our lives, and in a way mother everyone we know. But when it comes to extremes we generally have a reason we feel we need to do this. Once you figure out the issue that is causing the problem you can work on it together.I feel like my wife is trying to be my mother. Any advice?
Do you have kids? My fiance %26amp; I don't have any kids %26amp; we find the dynamic to be totally different. My friends that have children get so used to directing everybody %26amp; controlling everything, that they do the same thing to their husband. We always think it's funny b/c the dude is just totally stunned %26amp; whipped, has no idea what he did wrong. My fiance would boot my @ss outta here if I spoke to him in a derogatory way, and vice versa. I've only seen the Mom complex come out if they have kids.
She is more protective for you.That's definitely her love but if you can explain how you feel about it as she may not even realize what she is doing that may help her and you'll have better relationship.W omen's are sensitive so give your feedback in a positive way.
communication helps. Maybe she does enough stuff to clean up after you that she feels like she needs to be your mother. Talk and figure this out so that you can have a good partnership.
Tell her!!! Communication is the key. I felt the same way about my husband but thought it was probably the 8year age difference. We talked a while after an heated argument and it has gotten much better.
Well, usually guys attract women who remind them of their mother so what did you expect? Go with the flow or put your foot down.
draw some boundaries with her and keep them.....she should not be wiping your mouth when you eat.
Stop acting like you need a mother!!
Stop acting like a kid
Talk to her!
Stop acting like you need a mother.
fsdetox cleansing
Let your wife know that you realize she loves you and cares for your well being. Try to be patient with her and perhaps ask what she may be worrying about. Is it your health, safety when you are driving or working? Tell he about the precautions you take in these areas and that you are self aware. She may not realize the extent of her ';protectiveness'; and it may surprise her. Try to be sincere and sensitive to her feelings. One boyfriend said to me once that he has a mother and he is starting to look at me in a maternal way. WOW! That made me snap out of it.
Example: My husband has a constricted esophagus and food gets stuck in his throat. We were in ER last week because of this. I have been smothering him and I know it! He simply told me that he loves me and knows I am concerned but my ';telling him to chew his food well so it goes down'; made him feel like an infant. I had a good laugh and realized what I was doing. I now keep this in check.I feel like my wife is trying to be my mother. Any advice?
Asking the question here first off isnt going to fix it. Talking to your wife and opening the lines of communication are the first key to figuring out why she feels she needs to treat you in this way. As a woman we are predestined to take care of everyone in our lives, and in a way mother everyone we know. But when it comes to extremes we generally have a reason we feel we need to do this. Once you figure out the issue that is causing the problem you can work on it together.I feel like my wife is trying to be my mother. Any advice?
Do you have kids? My fiance %26amp; I don't have any kids %26amp; we find the dynamic to be totally different. My friends that have children get so used to directing everybody %26amp; controlling everything, that they do the same thing to their husband. We always think it's funny b/c the dude is just totally stunned %26amp; whipped, has no idea what he did wrong. My fiance would boot my @ss outta here if I spoke to him in a derogatory way, and vice versa. I've only seen the Mom complex come out if they have kids.
She is more protective for you.That's definitely her love but if you can explain how you feel about it as she may not even realize what she is doing that may help her and you'll have better relationship.W omen's are sensitive so give your feedback in a positive way.
communication helps. Maybe she does enough stuff to clean up after you that she feels like she needs to be your mother. Talk and figure this out so that you can have a good partnership.
Tell her!!! Communication is the key. I felt the same way about my husband but thought it was probably the 8year age difference. We talked a while after an heated argument and it has gotten much better.
Well, usually guys attract women who remind them of their mother so what did you expect? Go with the flow or put your foot down.
draw some boundaries with her and keep them.....she should not be wiping your mouth when you eat.
Stop acting like you need a mother!!
Stop acting like a kid
Talk to her!
Stop acting like you need a mother.
fs
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