My mother-in-law is driving me insane, any advice?

I have two children, ages 2 and 3, that go to see their grandparents every weekend when they go she gives them a bottle! I have told her not to give them a bottle anymore and she just says ';yeah okay'; and does it anyway. I have even given her pamphlets from the doctors that explains why its bad. She says its OK because she gave her son a bottle until he was 5 years old. Help?My mother-in-law is driving me insane, any advice?
My M-I-L is the same exact way with my niece, (my husband's brother's daughter) to the point that she completely bad mouths my brother and sister-in-law to her family! My niece will be 5 on Sunday, my husband and I have been together since just before she turned 2. In the last 3 1/2 years I have watched this woman completely trash my niece's mother, right in front of her! She has completely undermined my S-I-L and the way they raise my niece to the point that my S-I-L has just given in to my M-I-L! I've told my husband that when we have kids, she won't be that way with us, if she tries, then she won't get to see our kids! I was raised to voice my opinion on important matters and a lot of the things I've seen my M-I-L get away with, wouldn't fly with me.


My M-I-L even told my brother and sister-in-law when they told her they were thinking of trying for another baby that, SHE wasn't ready for another grandchild and so thought they should WAIT! And THEY DID! Now it's too late for them to have another baby because my sister-in-law was in an accident and had to ultimately have a total hysterectomy! When my husband and I got married last summer she told me to wait to have kids because she wasn't ready to be a grandmother again just yet. I told her that she had no say over it. That to me, if my husband and I are ready to have kids, then we WILL have kids. I've already shown her that I won't bow down to her and her whims and wishes, that when it comes to me and my kids, she won't be the authoritative figure, I will be as their mother and my husband will be as their father! My M-I-L's next thing is when my niece starts kindergarten in August, she says that if my niece doesn't like school, then she will ';just go and pick her up and not make her go back until she's ready.'; My S-I-L has already informed her that she won't be on the list of emergency people to pick up my niece in cases like that, just her, her husband and me and my husband because we actually live close to each other, whereas my in-law's live in the next town over.


To be blunt about it, tell her that these are YOUR children, not hers. She's their grandmother only, that doesn't mean she decides what is best for them and if she can't honor your wishes, then she won't be allowed to keep your kids until she can. You have to make a stand now or else she will be there their whole lives, undermining you at every turn.My mother-in-law is driving me insane, any advice?
Wow...that's sucks. You will need to tell her and be firm with her. You can explain and say that you understand that she may have given her sone the bottle till he was 5, but these are your children and you have your own style in how you want them brought up, etc. If that doesn't work, you may have to get your husband to talk to her about it.





If worse comes to worse, the unfortunately you may have to threaten to not let the kids stay/go over there anymore if she won't respect your rules. Hopefully it won't come to that tho.





Good luck!
Ahh.. very typical. She thinks she knows it all better than you and will have her way just to spite you. You need to be more force full with your attitude. I am sure you don't want to keep your children from enjoying their grandparents company but at the same time you are the mother and you should be able to raise your kids the way you want, without having her do immature gestures of rivalry. Take this point across. She should understand. After all if you didn't want her to be part of your babies lives you would act differently from the start.


You need to say this, even though she might get pissed off. It is your right. Well if your husband is feeling uncomfortable with the situation. So be it. He needs to deal with it, he is the father, the son and the husband.
This is what she beleives and she won't stop till she think its enough for her. I have a mother in law bit similar to yours that they try think best for their grandkids but its not.. Back in their days to our days are now compelety different..





My mother in law can be real pain n we do see them every weekend too. What makes me through the day is just let her do what she wants. Hopefully one day that they will realised or take the bottle off your kids and say sorry to them that they are now too big for bottle and face ur mother in law say ';Look sorry im not gonna keep explaining to you i am the mother u're the grandmother should do what i think the best for my kids and u will have to accept that';





Don't be scared like i did at first, Now my mother in law knows we're the parent she has her times with her kids n now its our times to raise our kids the way we think its the best..
Try to understand her. She's just trying to be the best she can to your kids, she probably misses been a parent and feels lonely and thinks of how she use to take care of her own kids. U feel that the reason U feel she is driving U insane because maybe when the kids get to your house they tell U how much fun they had with grandma and U are joules of her. Just deal with it. Remember it's call KARMA.
don't let the kids go over until they are older than five, i guess?





you can't control what she does in her own home. i don't think she's doing the kids a favor by giving bottles. its too bad you can't convince the kids to reject bottles if someone tries to give them one. i think they are too young to go along with something like that right now.





i hope it works out.
hide the bottles or threaten her that you wont bring the kids over anymoree.


but the best is to talk to your husband and tell him your problem
stop having her raise your kids if you have such a problem
Keep your kids at home...that way you'll be able to monitor their nutritional needs.