Mother seeking advice (shorter version)?

I'm on my daughter's yahoo answers. I tried to make an account for myself but it would not allow me to do so. When I am able to make my own account I will post this on my questions and answers thanks I apologize for any inconvenience





My youngest daughter just graduated from high school. I have 2 other daughters and a son who also graduated a few years back and have never acted the way my daughter has about the transition from high school to college.





My youngest daughter had it very hard throughout her 12 years in school. She was picked on a lot and just harassed very badly by students. My husbands daughter is also going through this. She's not mentally challenged or physically handicapped or anything of the sort she just got picked on a lot.





Well, now my daughter is going to college and what she wants amazed me. She wants to purchase everything new. New bed sheets blankets pillows clothes including all new underwear bras shoes socks tee-shirts long sleeve shirts sweatshirtsMother seeking advice (shorter version)?
Because she wants to be noticed thats why. Everything now adays is materialistic, we can act like its wrong (which it is) but until your old enough to be happily settled down with someone who loves her she will always want attention. Your daughter is the same as any other young person. Just tell her if she wants all new stuff to work for it, it will make her appreciate it more and not want as much!Mother seeking advice (shorter version)?
Sounds like she wants to 're-invent' herself, and start her life at college as a 'new and different' person. It may work, it may not... that's for you, mom, to find out.
I think your daughter has justgone bananas. Its the connection with the past that help us build the future and enjoy the present. We build on the foundation. Well you probably cant stop her at this time but it can be a warning sign. You need to figure out why she is so wanna bury her past. It may be a very small incident thats bothering her subconcious. Couple of counselling sessions might help, but I can tell you for sure. Its not very normal and it can be lack of self esteem, some small trauma, girls picking on her or just a relationship ended badly. In either case, talk to her as a friend and you might be up for a surprise.
i think shes thinking that well she got picked on a lot in school, and now at college she will have a chance to make a better first impression and she is probably trying to make a good one.
If she was picked on in high school, she wants herself to be different in college. She does not want to be treated that way any further. Talk to her and explain that kids are immature. In college she will meet adults and things will be different. She will be accepted for who she is, not what model phone she has.
she wants to become some else who is accepted.a certain phone, etc .makes you look cool, your clothes and all the things that goes with it makes you fit into the crowd.she is very unhappy with herself and is trying to change everything about herself to feel and look different.it may be a short time chance or she may stay that way.dont try to give your opinion on the subject because you will be pushing her away.let her make her changes,on her own budget and remember its your daughter underneath all the changes and let her know that you do and will love her no matter what.
she wants a new start, she thinks that if every one else has it so should i. And the new bed sheet thing could just be because she might sharing a dorm room, if that isn't it then everything could be she just wants a new start. to start all over, so that nothing can remind her of her high school pick-ons its ok momma hen slow down. Take a breather and relax, as long as she doesn't start sleeping around its cool. please don't let her sleep around, i was never picked on but there are guys out there who would like her just the way she is she doesn't have to sleep with any body. I almost turned down that road but thank god my parents didn't let me start dating 'till i was 16. Now I've found some one who wants to wait with me. Don't let her gone down that road. But the hair thing , everybody has at least 3 different colors in their hair except for me that's ok i like my hair and I'm content, but that's beside the point. Just don't start freaking out becoming a control freak!!! She's just changing!!!! believe me I'm in high school and every body changes sometimes not for the good, but i thinmk she's ok. Have you tried asking her??
Sounds to me as if she is attempting to leave the not-so-good high school life and being picked on and so forth behind her and start brand new.





I can understand and see her viewpoint on this - but being way past 18 and knowing what I know (and you know), material things won't truly make that change for her...she has to make that change internally.





All-in-all, I would allow her to get whatever ';new'; you (and she) can afford to - if it ';buys her'; some self-esteem and confidence, by the time she realizes that it was all her change in herself, it will be money well spent.
Sounds to me like your daughter is trying to make a fresh start - to leave the past behind (all those bad memories of high school) and move on. And she's doing it physically (by buying new things) as well as emotionally. There's some metaphor there for her - discarding the past, embracing a new beginning.





I say, if you can afford it, to support her in her efforts. I have a daughter just heading to college this fall too, and I know as brave as they act, it's a tough transition. Good luck, from one mom to another!
It's just a change that happens to a lot of kids. She's going to be in an entirely new environment with thousands of more people to meet. I rarely hang out with my friends from high school. I got a new hairstyle and I started wearing a different style of clothing. It's what I like to call ';the college look';. It's like starting over but still keeping everything you learned throughout school and social life in mind.
She's a teenager....teens do things us adults just don't understand. They're weird that way.





I understand why she would want to change herself...she's been picked on her entire educational life. It's hard enough to fit in--especially in high school--but then to have your PEERS pick on...it changes a person. By dying her hair and buying new clothes, she's ';creating'; a new person. She will feel different, perhaps more confident. As far as her wanting you to get EVERYTHING new (pillow, undergarments, phone, and even the phone plan)...that's just going a bit overboard. You don't have a money tree growing in your back yard, do you? You'll have to draw the line somewhere. Maybe SHE can pay for the new things she wants that you don't see as being necessary.





Your other kids didn't act this way, I'm assuming, because they weren't picked on like your youngest was.
When you spend a good majority of your life being picked on, you see college as a new beginning. New friends, new places..going somewhere that no one knows you and you can start all over. The drama and humiliation of high school is over and you see this as a new start. While material things aren't going to make her liked, it may give her the confidence to get out there and find herself. It's amazing what new clothes can do to a girl's confidence! I'd say indulge her some...but talk to her about the pressures of college and how to respect herself when she's out. This may be the start of a wonderful life for your daughters, and a way to put her past behind her.