I was not raised to be religious at all. Since my father was diagnosed my mother has turned to god which I think is great. I have too in my own way.
The problem is that my mother thinks my father has been healed by a miracle. I am not saying that this cannot happen. I just think my mother is denying it and she is setting herself up for some big dissapointment.
I go to healing mass with her and pray and listen and I am there for her as much as I can be. I am open minded to the fact that god can perform this miracle.
But, if he does not I need religious advice on what to do with my mom. Please help.Need advice. Mother thinks father is healed.?
Wow. I feel for you.
I have to tell you up front that I'm not a Christian (although I AM religious). So I can't relate to that part of it.
But I CAN relate to loss. I was widowed when I was 33, and it's just so hard to deal with it.
My husband had cancer, too, and he lived for 2 years after the doctors gave him up as terminal. I have to tell you that there is absolutely nothing as heart-breaking as living with someone who is terminally ill. You love them so much, want to change what's happening, and are powerless. It was made even worse by the fact that my husband sometimes had good days--or even weeks--when his symptoms got better. The sense of unreality was overwhelming.
What made everything harder was that my parents--who WERE Christians--were like your mom. They absolutely believed that my husband was healed, and wouldn't admit to any other possibility. It was a time when I so much needed support, but their attitude made it even harder for me to handle what was happening to my husband.
I'm worried about YOU, because you're in the same kind of position that I was in. You're facing an unimaginable loss, and the person who should be helping YOU deal with it is refusing to deal with it, herself. I wonder if you can find someone you can talk to on an ongoing basis--a friend, or priest, or even a therapist. I'm not suggesting that you need therapy--but I think it would be incredibly helpful for you to be able to cry, pour your heart out, and struggle with what's going on, with someone safe who will listen without judging you.
As for your mom--she's in a lot of pain. Since my husband died I've gotten to know a lot of other women who went through the same thing--and I've noticed that there's just no ';good'; way to get through this. I've seen people use alcohol or turn to weird religions or get involved in inappropriate relationships--anything to keep from feeling the pain. Compared to what she COULD be doing, her belief that your father is healed is probably pretty innocuous.
Here's what I think you should do: go to your mom and tell her that you understand that she believes your dad is healed, and that you truly hope she's right. Tell her that you're willing to support her in that belief by praying that G-d heal your father. But I think it's also important that you tell her that you don't share her certainty, and that you are struggling with pain over this, too. Explain that it's important for YOU to deal with this in a very practical and realistic way, and that you need her support in giving you this.
I think that if you approach her like this, you're validating her point of view, but also asking her to respect your needs--and you're reminding her of the reality of the situation.
It might be nice if your mom found a support group, too--both for now or later.
I sympathize with you, and hope that things go as well as possible for you and your family.Need advice. Mother thinks father is healed.?
Thanks--and take care of yourself. I know it's a really hard time.
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Thanks--and take care of yourself. I know it's a really hard time.
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God can not lie and God says ask and you shall recieve. Who ever prays and has no doubts in their heart will get their prayer answered. Support your family, believe with your family, and if God chooses to take him know his suffering is over.
Have her take Dad to a doctor. If he's healed, the doctor can verify it.
Also know that Mom is hurting, it's a horrible thing to face losing your husband, I can barely fathom it myself. Just be there for her, be as strong as you can manage, and together you will both get through this.
I admire your efforts, I hope all goes well with your family :)
Remember the ';faith of a mustard seed?'; It sounds like your mom has plenty of faith. What she needs is someone to agree with her which makes faith even stronger. Faith + Belief = Miracles.
firstly your family and you have my deepest thoughts and hopes. i am an athiest and so i think the chances of your father being healed are not good (but not impossible but ill deal with that later.) all your family are deeply distressed at the moment especially your mother and it seems she has turned to god for support and strength and at the moment if she can believe your father will recover this may just give her the strength to cope for the time being so whatever you do please do not suddenly shatter this belief,one of the benefits of believing in christianity is the church's views on what happens after death, it may be wise to speak to your priest or pastor and explain what is happening. these people have dealt with this situation many times and will help your mother come to terms in the event of your father not winning his fight and also they will be sensitive with you all. as i said i dont believe in god but i have seen cases where people have made seemingly impossible recoveries (im a paramedic). we only use 10% of our brains and we just dont know what the other 90% does, i believe the brain is powerful enough for telepathy etc i also believe that focussed enough brain power can fight illness and if all your family including your father focus together you never know... good luck you are really having a bad time at the moment and i hope everything improves in one way or another
Well...your Dad's doctor could tell pretty easily.
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