Well we aren鈥檛 happy here and we are going to be moving 4 hours away to Massachusetts. My husband has been offered a great job. 2 great jobs. Everyone on my side of the family is ok. My husband鈥檚 parents are not. They call us screaming, saying they want no contact with us because it hurts too much. She is saying we are stealing their grandchildren (I鈥檓 22 weeks pregnant) she is saying my husband has no religious or family values, and that he is trading over his family for more money. Also, according to her, this is my entire fault and all my idea. She has told me I am selfish and putting myself before my kids.
This was my husband and I鈥檚 decision. It is only 4 more hours away than we are now. We are doing what is best for us, and we aren鈥檛 going to back downNeed advice....mother in law is being insane!!?
Wow, so how did they react when your hubby was in the Navy? Did they see a problem with that? In your letter you should express sympathy that shes hurt, but make sure to tell her that shes over reacting. Its only 4 hours!! Because of 4 hours she goes off on a tangent? Good crap. Just tell her that this is the best thing for your family. If youre not happy in new york, its smart to move if you can! Tell her that family does not take a back seat to money and you dont want to islolate her grandchild at all. Just make sure you express everything you want to but try to be nice about it. Shes probably not going to take the letter very well, but what can you do? At least you tried!!Need advice....mother in law is being insane!!?
Ask her if she knows the diference between 4 Hours and a life time
Whatever you do - don't write that letter. Letters do not always convey exactly what you are feeling or trying to communicate or worse - they say too well how you are feeling at a particular time in your life - and however your mother-in-law interprets what you write - it will be permanent. I am writing from the other side of the world - and don't know whether you mean Massachusetts is four hours away by car or plane.....(?) One thing I do know - is that you do what is right for your immediate family. Relatives - in laws or whatever - have no right to tell you how to live your life. It is not the right of parents to dictate where their children should decide to make a life for themselves or vice-verse. My mother moved five hours away when she remarried - two days after the birth of my second child. I was devastated - but realised that she was just getting on with her own life - something she was entitled to do. Your mother-in-law will calm down and if the love for her son and grandchildren is as strong as she claims - she will eventually find a way to make it work. Visits with your relatives - on both sides - should develop into something special for your children - who have a right to see all their grandparents. Don't write that letter - it will come back and bite you on the bum!
Your husbands parents sound like they want to be an active part of your family. if they are being rude to you then let them know they don't get what they want that way. You and your husband are making a choice for the betterment of your family's economical situation. Remind them that you will bring the kids to visit, call often and they are also welcome to visit you. Don't forget that your in laws will always be your family and they will always be your husbands parents. Do not say or do anything to be hurtful to them. Even if you ignore them and allow your husband to handle the situation then that is fine. I think it wonderful that they want to know their grand children and be a part of their lives! However they cannot bully you and / or your husband if your choices are not in line with their desires. Adult children have a right to make their own choices and do what they feel is best for their immediate family and we know sometimes it is impossible to make everyone happy.
Where are your parents? best wishes.
Light %26amp; Love,
She is just upset that she won't be around to raise her grandchildren. I don't agree with her reaction but that is how some people react when they are feeling hurt or scared. I moved away with my kids, my parents tell me it is like I ripped their hearts from them. My parents miss my kids dearly and my kids cry for my parents once a week. However, just like you, I have to do what is best for my family. I have a great job and my husband does to so we are able to travel back and forth when we want. I would really suck it up and be the bigger person in this situation. It will turn around eventually. Let her go through the motions and let your husband deal with his mother. Let her blame you all day long. it's your family, your decision and your life.
oh dear,I so understand you and I'm totally with you in this matter.I have the same mother in law.She feels like she has a right to be a manager of our family life.I've been fighting with her for ages,but only thing that worked was my husband talking to her.he is normally very quiet and never disagrees with her,but I made him to tell her that we are a family and we two are making decisions and thank you very much,but no advice is needed.Believe it or not she is much better and more respectful now.
In your letter you should tell her that her hostile behavior toward you and your family is inappropriate. Let her know that her son is an adult and she needs to trust him to make his own decisions in life and that her time for parental control ended the day that he turned 18. Also tell her that you will be ceasing contact with her until she can act like an adult and not a child throwing a tantrum. Then block her number from the phone and dont answer her letters or just return the ones she sends. and the last line you wrote i would include that in your letter.
Man I would move to another country if my mother in law acted that way. OK well you and your husband and your babies are a family. You shouldn't back down just because someone isn't happy about it. She need to get over it and let her son go. He is a grown man. I would politely tell her we are doing what is best for us and if you don't' want to support us that's fine. You don't' need that kind of abuse. Good Luck with your husbands new job and everything else.
This is an issue your husband should be handling, not you. It's his parents, he should be the person to talk to them. If you do it it's only going to add to the fire, they'll certainly believe and tell everyone that this is by your hand alone. He should handle any disputes between his parents and you/children. Just continue with your plans, be nice even when their not and when they finally figure it out be forgiving and move on. This is his family and whether they are likable or not, they're his (and your childrens). You should be encouraging him to keep his family relationships strong (as long as not at your familys expense) and to change his realtionship with them into one between adults (not him remaining a perpetual child). good luck.
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