So, in June I got married, and with the marraige, I gained a new step-daughter along with my husband. I absolutely love Adelia, but her mother is another story. She absolutely hates me; she constantly tells me what i'm doing wrong, picks Adelia up when it's not time yet (we get her weekends, fridays and every other wednesday) and she is incredibly rude whenever I pick adelia up or call her on the phone (ie; shutting the door in my face, ';accidently'; hanging up on me, etc) And recently, she told Adelia that I didn't care about her. Which pissed me off. I love Adelia to death; as far as i'm concerned, she is my daughter, just as my son is my son. Maybe she isn't by blood, but that makes no difference. I love her unconditionally, and it irks me what her mom is doing. HELP!
Update:
Okay, so i've been following the advice about my husbands' ex....and it's doing no good. Today, I went to pick Adelia up from her soccer practice, and on our way home, we stopped to get something for lunch. While we were eating, she said, ';Danielle, why can't I live with you and dad?'; And honestly, I didn't know how to answer. She hates going home; Lynsi (her mom) works a lot, and so Adelia's usually home alone when she's not with us. She's benn really sad lately; she doesn't sleep well, she always seems sad when I talk to her when she's at her moms, and she said that she hates going back to her moms. I don't know what to do...I love Adel with all my heart, but so does her mom. Even if Lynsi dislikes me, I will NOT go to court to take Adel away from her. Adel just keeps saying she is tired of going back to moms house. Advice?!
Advice?! Mother issue! ?
This woman is still very very hurt over her husband moving on and marrying someone new. She still has alot of jealousy and hurt in her heart and she doesnt know how to handle it at all. Each time she sees u its a reminder to her that you now have the man she may still love in some way. Now its her daughter she sees u might be trying to steal away. Theres not much u can do because YOU are a responsible caring adult. This other woman apparently is NOT! I say just let it all roll off of you like water. Smile. Always say hello nicely and refuse to give in to her ways. Dont go to her level. When you do get your step daughter assure her each and every time that u love her and that u miss her terribly when she is gone for the week. She will see through your actions that you truly do care about her. Maybe in time this other woman will stop her childish ways- maybe not. BUT dont let it affect you and your life. Let her act like a total skank- you be the lady! Good luck to uAdvice?! Mother issue! ?
If she's at least 12 years old, SHE decides where she lives. You just have to say it's ok. I'm not sure if courts are involved or if she even wants to kick her mother out like that, but I'm just throwing that out there.
sorry I've no advice but I really hope this situation smoothes out... Just let Adel know how much you love her and unfortunately you haveto be the better person and speak well of her mom....
good luck
The only control you have here is to help Adelia understand that her mother does love her and she works so hard so that the bills get paid %26amp; they don't end up on the streets.
As I see it, all you can do is keep being there for her. Think of what's best for her- not what you or Lynsi wants. Going to court or not going shouldn't be about how either of you would feel, it should be about: how will Adelia turn out if this arrangement is kept? Would it be good for her? Would she be happy in the long-run?
Maybe you could switch things around so that you have her during the week?
If not, like I said, do what you can to comfort her and help her to be strong. Try to help her understand that you and her mother both love her very much and that she has to spend time with both of you.
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