Here's a long one.. Please give advice! (Mother in law)?

My husband and I have been together 6 years, married for 3. Our daughter will be 5 next Friday and not ONE single year has my mother in law EVER called to wish her a happy birthday. Never has she even called to check on her. Never has she called to ask and see her. When my husband's grandma died in 2004 she left Indiana (where we are now) and moved to Texas. No telling my husband or daughter bye. 5 years later she's 44 and living at her dad's one bedroom on the couch. She got arrested earlier in the year for driving with suspended plates, possession of paraphernalia, and marijuana. She has no job and left Indiana 3 times without saying where she's going, all because at the time she would move to any state where a man was willing to take her and she could live off of him. Now she's back in Indiana because she has no man taking care of her so she's living with her dad (husband's grandpa) in his one bedroom apartment on the couch. My husband went over to visit with his grandpa yesterday and of course she was there. She started her pity-party saying how sorry she was and she wanted to work things out and be in our daughter's life. Let me add this.. ***I*** decided while she was still living in this state years ago I wanted to take our daughter to see her so I could atleast say that I made the effort. Now get this, she has the nerve to whisper in my husbands ear to keep her out of the bedrooms because she had to go take another hit of pot because he knee hurt! What grandma does that?? Now, do I want her in my life? NO. Do I want her in my daughter's life? NO. But what do I do about my daughter??? She begs all the time to get to visit her grandpa and we don't let her go in because she's there. What would I tell my daughter when this woman she hasn't seen since she was two pops off and says she's her grandma?? My husband and I are both at a loss. He doesn't any more to do with her as I do.. His grandma raised him and since she passed away his ';MOM'; pretty much abonded him because he wouldn't support her. I just don't know what to do about our daughter. I feel so bad knowing she has another grandma out there but why would I want to chance ';Fixing'; things and my daughter getting to know her then take the risk of her possibly meeting another guy and going God knows where??Here's a long one.. Please give advice! (Mother in law)?
Pick your Grandpa up and bring him to your house. I wouldn't give your mother in law the time of day. Your daughter might take some of her drugs lying around. Don't trust her unless you give her a drug test, I still wouldn't let her around her. Sorry to hear that you have such a crappy mother in law. good luck!Here's a long one.. Please give advice! (Mother in law)?
I agree with looney toones 100%. Sorry to be for once completely unoriginal
Keep your daughter away from her, it may be more effort to invite her great grandfather over to your house, but it's not worth putting your daughter at risk of being exposed to whatever your mother in law is doing.
I think in this case you have to sort of play it by ear. I think you need to sit down with your husband and discuss this with him see how he feels. I know how you feel about the not calling thing my future MIL didn't call my step daughter on her bday and it is her biological grandchild she treats them like garbage and is only involved with one child. I know you are angry about what has and is happening but you need to understand that if your husband wants to have some contact with her that is his mom and he will have some love for her no matter what. I personally don't think that marijuana is a big deal (there are much worse things she could be doing)but if she is doing it when you guys are there in front of or around your child you have a right to be upset.Limit contact with her or only let her visit with the child in your house or in a public park tell her upfront if she plans to disappear then she shouldn't bother wanting a relationship with your family because this will only confuse your child. This is a tough decision so think carefully. Good luck.

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