I need help with mother, advice?

My mother is 77 and is living by herself, my dad left her 10 yrs ago


because she has a temper and a my way attitude, she always has


but now all my family members tell me you should start thinking of


putting your mother in a retirement community and not by herself,


she is very forgetful, has left oven turned on in my home serveral


times, but when Ive tried to talk to her about it, she says shell think


about it, now she is very healthy in her body wise but mentally thats


where im concerned, but how do you know when a person is ready


to move in with their children or to another place. I have another


brother who says hell help take care of her, but I dont trust him, hes


very violent and an alcoholic. And my mother says well i would live


with you for a 1 or 2 then with your brother and i cant live like that I


will have to make alot of adjustmehts in my home/life for this to


happen and then have my brother screw it up. And my mother says


well eithertake it or leave it, hes my son also, but that doesnt mean


that I have to put up with his drinking/attitude, I dont even want to see


his face. My husband doesnt drink/smoke so he doesnt allow him at


my home because of past troubles. Im at my wits end.


Should I just wait longer till shes older and cant make decisions?I need help with mother, advice?
I think you should visit a few assisted living centers by yourself - in your area. Talk to the people who run it, and a few of the people who live there. Find 2 or 3 that you think would be compatible for your Mom and then talk to her about them. And if she is open to visiting them, set up a time to take her there when she can talk to someone who lives there as well.





It would be much healthier for your mom to live in an environment where there are others that she can share her experiences with. It will keep peace in your family, and it will be much easier on you than changing everything so that she can live with you and your family. You may not realize it now, but it would be a lot of stress on you, your husband and your children (if you have any).





In assisted living, she will have her own apartment, so she will still have her independence, but there will be people to check on her - and she won't be alone all the time which will help her mentally. They have activities all the time - depending on her interests, i.e. Bridge clubs, book clubs, shopping trips, church services, etc. She will probably make a good friend to ';buddy around with';.I need help with mother, advice?
That is definitley a hard one if she is leaving the stove etc.. on one of these days youll come home to a burned down house, and your brother needs to take care of himself first I guess i would call one of them places and see if they could help or have advice i hope this helps
You should hire someone to make company for her and take care of her and the house. Its alot cheaper.
Your mother is getting up in her years. You need to make all of her decisions. Let her live with you and no back and forth business between you and your brother. Tell her that's how it is going to be and that's that. Let her know that your brother is welcome to come over any time to visit. I am fixing to go through the same thing with my mother. My sister and I have discussed it and we are going to step in and start making all of the decisions for her. She will get to choose who to live with but absolutely no back and forth between households.
I think you should not help the only thing you can do is to get her back to your home. and it is not easy to look after her and bear her mentally my advise to you is a little bit expensive. keep a nurse. who will look after her from morning to evening and evening to night if you want or else keep a nurse for permanent. One thing we always tend to forget is that after few more years we will be facing the same problem. I feel that how we take care of our mother in future some body will be there to look after us.