Single mother needs advice?

My ex done a runner while I was still pregnant. He saw baby few times but deceided he wants nothing to do with baby. I am finding this so so hard to accept that he wants absolutely nothing to do with his own child. He pays maintenance but otherwise has no time what so ever for my baby. Please help me with this as it causes me a lot of stress and angerSingle mother needs advice?
Eventhough it is a stressful situation you have to stay calm and try your best to avoid the stress. When you have your child, you really dont need anyone else but them. Because I guarentee you that child will be the one to make you smile when your down. Babies have this great spirit. And as for him; just remember that he will have to live with the fact that he was'nt there for that baby. Honestly just make sure he does his part on taking care of the baby needs. And make sure you let him know that one of those needs is a Father to be there. Try and work things out with him. You really have to stay strong, because alot of women let that stuff break them and then the baby gets affected by it. He's honestly gonna regret this. Its a shame that he's that ignorant but you know what he will learn the hard way. Continue being the good mother you are. Hopefully he will come around. And when he does let him know the difference btw a DADDY and a FATHER!!!Single mother needs advice?
I also agree with TB here





This is a problem that you can't solve in the way you'd like to solve it. He's not willing so there is nothing you can do.You need to accept that it's something you can't change. if you do that, then your stress levels should subside.





You need to use the anger and channel it into motivation, you are somebody's mother and that is where your priority has to be.





Yes maybe things could have turned out better but hindsight is a wonderful thing. Don't be hard on yourself for what has happened. With the best will in the world you can no more control another person's actions than you can tell the wind to change direction.





Take care of your child and yourself first, if you don't do that who else will?
I was in the same situation when my daughter who is now 7 was born.


I was with my partner for four years he left my whilst pregnant and i was in a right state!!


When she was born he came to visit once and we have not seen him since. He has never paid me a penny (at least you are lucky enough to get maintenance.)


I feel proud that i managed as well as i did, i'm sure you will to.


When my daughter was nearly 2 i met my now husband and we have a little sister for her.


It was lovely getting to know my daughter and having one to one with her until my hubby came along. We are married and he has now adopted her although she calls him daddy i have told her the truth.


He is a perfect dad in my eyes.


Good luck try not to be hurt and angry and concentrate on having a lovely time with your new baby.



There are usually local groups for women and mothers you can go to at hospitals, clinics, and social work offices. They teach you how to deal with stress, depression, parenting issues, single parenting, and these classes are usually free and you get to talk to other mothers in the same position. You could put your kid in daycare a few afternoons a week if you need some time to yourself.
It is hard. I know - I've been there.


At the same time you can't make someone do what they don't want to do. And because you know he may regret it at some point in his life, try to keep some contact going with him, even if it is very superficial, e.g. just letting him know where you are / change of address etc.


Otherwise, consider yourself as a single parent, being the loving and responsible parent. You may have to go through hardship, but there are helplines for people like you. Grow strong, grow confident about your ability, and you will find you can make a big difference to this child's life.
There really isn't anything you can do. Just be a good mommy to your child, and don't worry about him. Also, are you more upset because he doesn't want to see the baby or because he doesn't want to see you? Just something to think about...The best thing you can to is to be a good mom to your baby, and forget about a guy who is clearly a dead beat. Good luck.
I agree with TB 100% Be the best mommy you can. Women raise children all by them selves all of the time. The best thing to do, is to talk about it. Join a single mom's group. Talk to others that are going through similar things you are going through. It helps.
I think that when you have the baby, he will have a change of heart. Most people do when they've had the baby. You just suddenly feel all this love for it, knowing it has your blood.


For now, ask him if he could prehaps think it through and give you a chance.
Let your anger go, just think it's his loss. As long as he pays you don't need a loser like him in your babys life. Concentrate on your beautiful baby and think of all the fun and love you will have.
as long as your the best mom you can be the father will have to face your child and all the babys questions when babs old enough
I think you should try to accept the fact that he doesn't want to be involved. You can't force someone to care. He doesn't sound like a mature and responsible guy. Sorry